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Prince George is About to Have the Most Boring 1st Birthday Party Ever

PrinceIt’s going to be a prince of a party.

Britain’s royal family has plans to fete Prince George’s first birthday with a private tea party in Kensington Palace, according to Vanity Fair.

The Royal heir will become a 1-year-old on Tuesday and he’s already proving himself to be a forward child — already walking on his own.

His parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, released a photo ahead of his birthday that shows just how much their little cherub has grown.

Stumped

I’m sure it’s great being apart of the Royal family, but Prince George is getting screwed here. Obviously as a soon to be 1-year-old he doesn’t have much say in his birthday party plans. He doesn’t have much say in anything since he probably can’t talk. But when he grows up and looks at pictures from his 1st birthday party and finds out it was a tea party he’s going to be pissed. You know what 1-year-olds don’t give a shit about? Tea. I’m not saying he needs a huge stripper blowout birthday party, but something in between that and a tea party seems logical. You’re the Royal Family; you have unlimited resources, and you land on a private tea party for your newest addition’s 1st birthday? The lack of creativity and effort is disappointing to say the least. Also, I’m not too familiar with the developmental stages of a baby, but the fact that he’s walking around before the age of 1 blew my mind. Is this normal? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t functionally walking until at least 4 or 5.

– Ryan

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Baria Alamuddin is Certifiably Insane

CLOONEYAmal Alamuddin’s mom doesn’t approve.

George Clooney’s fiancée reportedly didn’t get her mother’s blessing to marry the Hollywood hunk, according to the Daily Mail.

Baria Alamuddin, an editor for Arab newspaper Al Hayat, supposedly wished for her daughter to marry within the family’s strict Lebanese religious sect, close family friends told the gossip site.

Coming from the Druze sect, her family’s beliefs forbid her to marry outsiders, which often results in excommunication and a social boycott.

“You would think Amal has hit the jackpot with George Clooney, but Baria is not happy,” a friend of the family said.

i-feel-like-im-taking-crazy-pills

What is this lady’s problem? Her daughter is about to marry the best guy in the whole wide world and she’s upset? I don’t get it. Isn’t the whole goal of parenting to make sure your children have a better life than you? Well it seems to me that Amal has a pretty sweet life. Not only is she a respected lawyer and activist, but she’s engaged to the coolest guy in the goddamn universe. I didn’t want to pull this card but this is obvious jealously on Baria’s part. She’s finally starting to realize her age and how she’ll never get a man like Clooney. I get it. I’m in the same boat. But she needs to suck it up and be happy for her daughter. She’s about to join American royalty.

– Ryan

America’s Long National Nightmare is Over: George Timothy Clooney is (Reportedly) Engaged

Batman – George Clooney told Esquire in September he had no “aspirations” to be married with children. That was a month before he was seen with Amal Alamuddin in October.

Could Clooney finally have met his match in Alamuddin, a 36-year-old Oxford-educated British lawyer who reportedly shares the actor’s passion for crusading for international human rights?

There is plenty of speculation that Alamuddin may be the woman who converts Clooney — with two Oscars and a firm hold near the top of Hollywood’s A-list — from confirmed bachelor to family man.

The latest gossip started Saturday with reports from People magazine and the New York Post’s “Page Six” column quoting unnamed sources saying the couple are engaged to be married.
Slow Clap
Who knows if this is true or not, but if it is, I’d like to be the first to congratulate my best friend* on his engagement. If in fact Clooney has been tamed, then kudos to Amal you lucky son of a bitch. Just know that if you harm a hair on that silver fox’s head I will ruin your entire world. On the positive side, it seems as if Clooney has finally decided to settle down, although I can’t help but think this has something to do with his ex Stacey Keibler already settling down and having a baby with the unluckiest guy in the world Jared Pobre. I really thought Stacey was the one. She’s gorgeous and ex WWE diva, which are the perfect qualifications for a wife in my book. I guess when you have literally everything else in the world, you have to start thinking outside the box. And outside the box for Clooney is getting engaged to an insanely hot international human rights lawyer. Game. Set. Clooney.

– Ryan

*whatever the opposite of a best friend is.

I Need to Go to This Fake George Clooney Party

How long have I’ve been saying I want to go to one of Clooney’s parties? Years, that’s how long. It’s the only dream I have left. To hang out with George at one of his fancy parties and become best friend bachelors forever and ever and ever. I’m going to Italy in 6 days and one of my stops just so happens to be Lake Como. The same Lake Como where Clooney has a house. Not even the Italian Guard (?) can stop me now. Although this invitation is fake, Clooney ABSOLUTELY has pool parties with just his famous friends and the 30 hottest women on the planet. I know it for a fact. That’s just how he rolls. Game. Set. Clooney.

– Ryan

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – George Clooney Press Week

Oh my sweet Clooney. Some people look forward to Christmas. Some people look forward to their birthday. I look forward to George Clooney’s media week. He’s promoting Monuments Men, which I will probably see, but right now the matter at hand is Clooney. Letterman one day, The Daily Show the next (YouTube has banned the Daily Show video. Nobody bans Clooney!). So effortless. So suave. Cracking jokes, making everyone in the room feel like they’ve been best friends for years. If I ever met a magic genie, I’d wish for George Clooney to come out with 52 movies a year, so we’d never have to be apart.

– Ryan

P.S.

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Reason Number One Million Why George Clooney is the Best: He Lets Bill Murray Crash at His Place Whenever He’s in Los Angeles

Source – There was a lot to talk to George Clooney about at Friday’s press day for his new film, “The Monuments Men”: His reaction to that cold diss from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes; that on-set prank he pulled on Matt Damon where Clooney had wardrobe continually and very narrowly tighten Damon’s waistline; and of course the film itself, a highly anticipated adventure about the hunt for art stolen by the Nazis during World War II.

During Yahoo Movies’ chat with Clooney, though, in addition to discussing possible comeuppance by Damon, he inadvertently let one little fun factoid slip: That Bill Murray crashes at Clooney’s house when in Los Angeles.

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Jesus Christ how cool can one guy be? Also, I’ve never been more jealous of Bill Murray in my life. I always knew the guy was a superstar, but now that he gets to stay at Clooney’s house!? I’ve never wanted to be a 63 year old man so badly. Game. Set. Clooney.

– Ryan

George Clooney Has Finally Seen the Light. See Ya On the Red Carpet!

Source – As one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors, George Clooney has no shortage of options when it comes to securing a date. However, it could be you by his side at the upcoming “Monuments Men” premiere.

 That’s because the 52-year-old is auctioning off a date with himself for the Feb. 4 red carpet event in Manhattan. And through a $10 donation on charity site Omaze, you will be entered to win. That’s right — it’s only $10 to throw your hat in the ring. (And the more entries you buy, the cheaper it gets.)

Being the Oscar winner’s date at a premiere is exciting enough, but the winner gets even more Clooney time. Along with a friend, the lucky lady or gent flies to the Big Apple and accompanies him to “Late Show With David Letterman,” where they’ll hang backstage as part of his entourage while he’s interviewed by Dave. Then, they’ll ride to the premiere together in style, walk the red carpet, and sit with him in the VIP row during the screening of the film, which Clooney directed, wrote, and stars in.

Oh, and the date extends to attending the afterparty as Clooney’s special guests. Other talent in the film include Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, and John Goodman, so it will be a star-studded affair.

According to the Omaze website, at the end of the night, the winners will have learned, “How it feels to be the classiest person on the red carpet (by association); what it’s like to go out in NYC with the ultimate man’s man, ladies’ man, and all around man; AND George may even share how he masterfully pranks super star buddies like Brad Pitt.”

Clooney, who’s single since splitting with Stacy Keibler over the summer, is doing this to benefit Satellite Sentinel Project, which is an organization that reports on the state of the conflict in the border regions between Sudan and South Sudan via satellite imagery. (The war-torn country has long been a close to the megastar’s heart.)

The contest ends on Jan. 30. And, who knows? The winner may have so much fun with Clooney that they could become part of his inner circle. Next spring, they could be with him in Lake Como skinny-dipping along with the rest of his A-list pals.

How’s that for $10 well spent?

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I’ve been preparing for this moment my entire life. It’s just funny because this whole time I was running after Clooney, and now he’s right where I want him*. All it’s going to take is donating $10 to a good cause and I’ll be schmoozing with big wigs on the red carpet. This Yahoo! article obviously knows its stuff because after the red carpet event it’s inevitable that Clooney and I become best friends. What do best friends do? They skinny dip in Lake Como. Looks like Uncle Ryan has finally hit the big time. And it’s all because of Clooney.

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– Ryan

*If for some insane reason he’s ever read any of my blogs on him I’ll probably be disqualified from the contest and thrown in jail. Risk I’m willing to take.

Music Monday: George Michael – Father Figure

Music Monday Pick of the Week

If George Michael can’t get Christmas week started off on the right foot, then no one can. Sweet, sweet Georgy Michael.

Ryan

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