Advertisements

Blog Archives

Alien: Covenant has a prologue short film

I’m going to try an keep calm throughout this recap of what we just watched, but forgive me if I go off a bit off the rails. I’ve been so excited for this movie, I can barely contain myself.

Ok, so what does this little prologue short film tell us about Alien: Covenant? For one, James Franco is the captain of this mission. It will be interesting to see what kind of captain he is.

Michael Fassbender is back as an android, and in this short we see him playing Walter. A totally new andriod. (he will also be reprising his role as David).

Danny McBride, as always, steals the show. He waits until Captain Branson (Franco) hits the sleep chamber before throwing on a cowboy hat and leading the crew in pre-sleep festivities.

We now know that the Covenant ship is on a “large-scale colonization” mission, which means a few things. One, this storyline is independent of Prometheus; although I obviously suspect a crossover of characters with Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender’s casted into this movie. And two, this adds a new aspect to the Alien franchise…significant others. It looks as though the crew on this mission are largely husbands and wives tasked with colonizing a new planet. This will surely invoke all types of interesting survival instincts when the shit inventively hits the fan.

Speaking of, how about the choking bit in this short?! I was half-expecting a tiny xenomorph to launch itself from her chest, but then Walter comes over and defuses the tension. If this is just a glimpse of things to come, then I think it’s safe to say Ridley Scott has another terrifyingly suspenseful thriller on his hands.

Lastly, I think we have found our protagonist. Katherine Waterston (you might recognize her from Fantastic Beasts) is playing a character named ‘Daniels’ in Covenant. So, what does this short tell us about her character? For one, she’s the take charge type. She swoops in and gives a chilling speech about the coming mission. And she does it without being called upon, she volunteers to give a few words. So she’s obviously the leader-type, even though she might not be in the role of a leader (where have we seen that before?). But, the most telling thing about her character is that she is alone. Yeah she’s with the crew, but look how she is placed among them. Centered, with space on either side of her while the rest of the crew is cuddled up with their significant others. Does she have an S/O on this mission? Doesn’t look like it. All I know is when shit starts going south it’s every man and woman for themselves.

-Matt

Advertisements

Happy Birthday to The Hoff, David Hasselhoff

A lot of people would put the drunk cheeseburger video on here to make fun of The Hoff, but not me. I mean who hasn’t eaten a cheeseburger off the floor in a drunken stupor before? I’ve done worse things. Horrible, unexplainable things. Anyway, today is the The Hoff’s birthday, so today we celebrate. How many German girls do you think he’s getting with tonight? I’m put the over/under at 73.

– Ryan

David Bastar Got Arrested Because He Loved Delivering Baked Goods And That’s a Damn Shame

YeastA man stole a New York City bread truck and began delivering loaves of savory baked goods to random businesses, the bakery’s owner said Thursday.

David Bastar hopped into the Grimaldi’s Home of Bread truck on Manhattan’s Upper East Side early Monday while the real driver was making a delivery at a pizzeria, according to police.

Reportedly wearing only his underwear, Bastar then allegedly began dropping off baguettes, whole-wheat rolls and sourdough bread — but not to the bakery’s customers, said Joe Grimaldi, the owner of the baker in the Ridgewood neighborhood of Queens.

“The bread was left somewhere. Where I don’t know,” he said. “He dropped a lot of bread.”

Grimaldi said about $5,000 in bread was taken. The bakery later was able to accommodate all its customers.

“It’s a bizarre incident but nothing happened to the truck. No one was hurt. There was no damage. I got my truck back,” said Grimaldi.

Bastar, of Nanuet, was arrested later at LaGuardia Airport, where police say he wound up after tailgating a driver for several miles.

The driver became concerned about being followed and called police, said Erica Dumas, a spokeswoman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the airport.

Police determined that the truck had been stolen that morning.

Bastar, who was taken to a hospital for evaluation, was charged with criminal possession of stolen goods and driving without a license.

Grimaldi said a shuttle bus driver who witnessed the arrest called the bakery and said, “If you need a driver, I’ll work for you.”

undapants!

Undapants! I don’t like this one bit. David Bastar obviously has a passion. Is delivering baked goods to unsuspecting customers in your underwear a weird passion? Yes, but I don’t think it’s right to deny this man his destiny. No one was hurt, there was no damage to the truck; David Bastar saw an opportunity and took it. He has probably been dreaming of this day since he was a small child. If we’re going to blame anyone here, it should be the driver. You can’t just leave your truck unattended, especially when passionate men like David Bastar are roaming the streets searching for opportunities. This feels like a win-win situation to me: David Bastar got to live out his fantasy and a lot of people got free baked goods from a guy in his underwear. The more David Bastar’s in this world, the better.

– Ryan

Bill Murray Stopped By David Letterman’s Show And Now I Want Him to Be a Late Night Guest Every Night

Bill Murray is like the opposite of that selfie song. When I hear that song I hate selfes, but when Bill Murray takes one I can’t help but think its the coolest thing in the world. That’s power. Also, how much of a power couple would Lady Gaga and Bill Murray be? She dresses like an animal and blows people away with her voice and he walks around cracking jokes, stealing peoples French fries and making everybody’s day. The more I think about it the more I’d be on board for a variety show. I basically want any way to get Bill Murray on my TV 7 times a week. If I ran a TV station that would be my first order of duty: pay Bill Murray whatever he wants and let him have his own show. Ratings juggernaut.

– Ryan

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – George Clooney Press Week

Oh my sweet Clooney. Some people look forward to Christmas. Some people look forward to their birthday. I look forward to George Clooney’s media week. He’s promoting Monuments Men, which I will probably see, but right now the matter at hand is Clooney. Letterman one day, The Daily Show the next (YouTube has banned the Daily Show video. Nobody bans Clooney!). So effortless. So suave. Cracking jokes, making everyone in the room feel like they’ve been best friends for years. If I ever met a magic genie, I’d wish for George Clooney to come out with 52 movies a year, so we’d never have to be apart.

– Ryan

P.S.

image

Can Someone Explain To Me Why David Ortiz Isn’t the Sportsman of the Year?

image

Really SI? I wasn’t aware that the possibility of breaking the quarterback touchdown record was more impressive than putting a city in despair on your back, winning the AL East, winning the world series and becoming world series MVP. Peyton began his year by losing in the playoffs. Yes he’s having an unreal year, but he also has 3 of the top 15 receivers in the league. At this point, the broncos might not even win their division! And if you think they’re going to represent the AFC in the super bowl then you’re high. Sports Illustrated just lost my respect. Quite possibly the biggest oversight in fake awards history. Big Papi is upset, and rightfully so.

(GIF via @theScore)

– Ryan

American Hustle Set to Close Dubai Film Festival

According to the Hollywood Reporter, David O. Russell’s newest feature film, American Hustle, will headline and close out the Dubai Film Festival, which runs from December 6th-14th.

DIFF artistic director Masoud Amralla Al Ali said: “We are thrilled to bring David O. Russell’s follow-up to his Oscar-winning films The Fighter and Silver Linings Playbook to DIFF audiences this year. With one of the most exciting filmmakers working today at the helm, an outstanding cast and compelling story, this is a film that is set to blow audiences away and end the 10th DIFF on a high note.”

Hustle has had serious Oscar buzz surrounding it for quite some time, and with good reason. O. Russell stockpiled an incredible cast, and not only are they talented, but most of the cast have worked with the director before. Amy Adams and Christian Bale starred in The Fighter, while Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence were the two leads in Silver Linings Playbook. Add in the supporting actors (Renner, Louis C.K. and De Niro) and it’s easy to see why critics and fans are eager for the premiere. If the film is anything like O. Russell’s last two films, the honor of closing the Dubai Film Festival may be the first in a long line of deserving awards.

– The Average Nobodies

P.S. If you haven’t yet, check us out on Movie Pilot.

http://moviepilot.com/AverageNobodies

Did the Red Sox Win Last Night?

815475616

Yup. Butt slap city.

%d bloggers like this: