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028 Hard Knocks, Nintendo Blew It and Ryan Got Engaged!

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were selected for HBO’s Hard Knocks, The 49ers at the second pick in the NFL draft, Nintendo broke our hearts, Matt has a serious gripe with Kickstarter and Ryan got engaged! Leave a voicemail at 401-285-8120 | Twitter – | Instagram – | Facebook – | Website – http://www.averagenobodies.comMerch –

My Guitar Gently Weeps – Iggy is Engaged


America’s Long National Nightmare is Over: George Timothy Clooney is (Reportedly) Engaged

Batman – George Clooney told Esquire in September he had no “aspirations” to be married with children. That was a month before he was seen with Amal Alamuddin in October.

Could Clooney finally have met his match in Alamuddin, a 36-year-old Oxford-educated British lawyer who reportedly shares the actor’s passion for crusading for international human rights?

There is plenty of speculation that Alamuddin may be the woman who converts Clooney — with two Oscars and a firm hold near the top of Hollywood’s A-list — from confirmed bachelor to family man.

The latest gossip started Saturday with reports from People magazine and the New York Post’s “Page Six” column quoting unnamed sources saying the couple are engaged to be married.
Slow Clap
Who knows if this is true or not, but if it is, I’d like to be the first to congratulate my best friend* on his engagement. If in fact Clooney has been tamed, then kudos to Amal you lucky son of a bitch. Just know that if you harm a hair on that silver fox’s head I will ruin your entire world. On the positive side, it seems as if Clooney has finally decided to settle down, although I can’t help but think this has something to do with his ex Stacey Keibler already settling down and having a baby with the unluckiest guy in the world Jared Pobre. I really thought Stacey was the one. She’s gorgeous and ex WWE diva, which are the perfect qualifications for a wife in my book. I guess when you have literally everything else in the world, you have to start thinking outside the box. And outside the box for Clooney is getting engaged to an insanely hot international human rights lawyer. Game. Set. Clooney.

– Ryan

*whatever the opposite of a best friend is.

Chopped Onions Alert: Jeff Bauman, Boston Marathon Bombing Survivor, Is Engaged to His Pregnant Girlfriend

SourceA man who lost his legs in the Boston Marathon bombings, then helped authorities identify the suspects, is engaged and an expectant father.

Jeff Bauman, 28, and his fiancee, Erin Hurley, 27, told The Associated Press in a recent interview that the baby is due July 14. They don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, and they want it to be a surprise.

“My mom loves it. My dad’s going crazy,” Bauman said. As for himself, “I just want to be a good dad.”

The two have been preparing for the baby’s arrival by painting a nursery in their home in Carlisle. Hurley said Sunday that she and the baby are healthy and her pregnancy is going well. They became engaged in February and together picked out a white-gold engagement ring. She said they plan to marry next year.

“We’ve got a lot going on. So we don’t need to do everything all at once,” she said.

An AP photo of a badly injured Bauman being rushed away in a wheelchair by three rescuers became one of the most memorable images of the April 15, bombings, which killed three people.

He was standing near the finish line waiting to cheer on Hurley as she completed the marathon when the two bombs exploded. Bauman became a hero after he provided a description of one of the suspected bombers from his hospital bed.

Bauman’s memoir on his experiences, called “Stronger,” is out April 8, one week before the anniversary of the bombings.


Is somebody chopping onions in my cubicle this afternoon, because it just got a little watery in here. What a stud. This is such a feel good story, and really one that can’t be explained in words. You never hear about Jeff Bauman going on a crusade against the marathon bombers or lashing out to local newspapers or websites. He just keeps on livin’, man. At 28 and in the prime of his life, Jeff almost got everything senselessly taken away from him, but you’ll never hear him complain about it. He’s too busy being a good boyfriend and eventually one hell of a father. Good for you, Jeff  Bauman. You’re a hero in my eyes.

– Ryan

Another One Bites the Dust: Alex Morgan is Engaged





I learned a long time ago that unless I want my kids physical peak to be an outfielder in men’s league softball I’d have to marry someone with some athletic ability. Alex Morgan was always on the top of that list. She’s a bonafide 10, and I looked forward to all the ketchup fights we were going to have together. Then she goes and gets engaged and completely pulls the rug out from under me. Coming out of left field with this longtime boyfriend/engagement crap. I guess my dreams of marrying an Olympic athlete will have to be put on hold a bit longer. Oh and Servando, if that is your real name, I have a little message for you..


Kim and Kanye’s Celebrity Mashup Name – What Should it Be? Give us Your Thoughts!

By now 4/5 of the world are aware that Kim and Kanye are now engaged to be married. I’ve been on record as hating Kanye from time to time, but I’d be lying if this wasn’t my reaction when I heard the news..

There’s only so much hate you can have for two people, and if they want to get married and having little babies named after directions on a map let them do it. Renting out an entire baseball stadium and proposing on the big screen on her birthday while family and friends wait in the wings is also pretty damn cool.


The only question I really have is what is their celebrity mash up name going to be now that they’re getting married? While KimYe is incredibly creative, I was thinking of something that doesn’t just combine Kim’s actual name with the last two letters of Kanye’s. I want something creative, something that shows their unique spirits. Keezus? Kanyashian? I think we can do better. These two down to earth celebrities need our help, so what do you got? Let us know!

– Ryan

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