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Ep 34 – Little Derek Diapers, Ryan 2 Thumbs & Mattie Meatballs

Talk to us on twitter – @AverageNobodies || Read our blog – www.averagenobodies.com || Leave us a voicemail – 401-285-8120 || Matt – @MattFromRi

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Donald Trump Is Clearly Losing His Mind

President Donald Trump sent out a series of tweets Wednesday morning attacking Democratic Sen. Richard Blumenthal, who had repeatedly criticized the president’s firing of FBI Director James Comey.

“Watching Senator Richard Blumenthal speak of Comey is a joke. ‘Richie’ devised one of the greatest military frauds in U.S. history,” Trump tweeted of the senator from Connecticut. “For years, as a pol in Connecticut, Blumenthal would talk of his great bravery and conquests in Vietnam — except he was never there.

“When caught, he cried like a baby and begged for forgiveness … and now he is judge & jury. He should be the one who is investigated for his acts.”

Blumenthal appeared on CNN on Wednesday morning, saying there was “really a looming constitutional crisis that is deadly serious.”

The senator also was a guest on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on Wednesday, calling for a special counsel to investigate the Trump campaign’s alleged ties to Russia; Comey had been leading the FBI’s investigation into the matter when he was fired. – Yahoo

Trump’s firing people, tweet-storming & drinking Coca-Cola on command – sounds just like an average somebody.

Oh Mama!  This is the Trumpstravaganza and unless you’re white, have white hair, you better not get on his shitty list.  2 Days ago, Trump fired Comey, director of the FBI, and that doesn’t stand for Female Body Inspector.  Today, after being the big man on campus, he rose to the “grande” man on campus, when Richard Blumenthal had some sharp words about El Presidente de Trump.

Blumenthal was hit with Trump’s Savage response.  Love him or hate him, don’t fuck with him because his words will tear you limb from limb, and when there’s nothing left, he just might get hungry.  But Trump, the possible fraud, told Blumenthal that he’s a fraud.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Nobodies, my Dom Perrignon’s, I wouldn’t criticize the man.  I’m waiting for him to pour his can of Coke on someone, and then that possibly may just be Judgement Day.  But, until that day my friends, stay fucking classy like Ron Burgandy and make sure you stay off Trump’s Twitter and out of his way, because he just might fire you, and you probably don’t even have a job.  Think about that one.

~ The Doctah

Donald Trump’s Obsession With Pictures Has Infected The @Patriots

We all know Donald Trump is obsessed with being right. He’s also obsessed with pictures, which started after his inauguration in January. As you can see in the picture below, Trump’s inauguration was not as well attended as his predecessor’s:

Now you can argue that the picture has been altered and that the sun sets in the East and rises in the West, but let’s just say that the above picture is accurate. Fast forward three months and we have another picture controversy on our hands thanks to the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots visiting Trump at the White House. The Patriots already announced that less players were showing up compared to 2015 but that the overall number of personnel and players would be about the same. Then, this picture happened:

Instead of just letting it go, the official Patriots Twitter account decided to chime in and give their take on the picture, which not only seems unnecessary, but seems like something that was directed by Trump himself:

The Patriots are a team that rarely officially comment on anything, so to have them come out and tweet something like that is odd. Kraft and Trump are butt buddies, and Belichick even wrote Trump a letter during the campaign, so you have to imagine that friendship and Trump’s obsession with being popular has a lot to do with it. Of course, Trump also weighed in on the picture, because he apparently has nothing better to do:

If you’re looking for some fresh reasons to hate the Patriots, you know have some ammo.

-Ryan

Ryan Reynolds’ Birthday Tweet To His Wife Is Why He’s The Funniest Celebrity On Social Media

I’m sure you know who Ryan Reynolds is. He’s the devilishly handsome actor who just broke a bunch of box office records as Deadpool. He’s also married to the devilishly beautiful Blake Lively, which almost isn’t fair to the rest of the world. If that’s not enough, he’s also the funniest celebrity on social media. The latest example of this is his happy birthday tweet to his wife yesterday:

That is some funny stuff. Is it legal for someone to be that handsome and also that funny? I’ll let it slide as long as he keeps the funny tweets going, which he’s already doing:

-Ryan (not Reynolds)

Glad To See Randy Quaid Is Doing Well

 

It’s honestly shocking to me that Randy Quaid knows how to upload a video to Twitter. Look at that guy. He is the dictionary definition of insane. The fact that he’s allowed to walk around and film himself yelling into a camera and also knows how to upload that video to Twitter is kind of astounding. I didn’t dig too deep into his Twitter profile because I don’t feel like hanging myself today, so I’m not sure who he plans on voting for, but I’d bet a large sum of money it won’t be Hillary Clinton. If I’m someone who’s on the fence going into this election, watching this video might make me vote for Hillary just so Randy Quaid disappears back into the abyss.

-Ryan

Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy Are Feuding On Twitter & Now All I Want Is To See Them In An Insane Backyard Wrestling Match

 

For those of you who have no idea what’s happening, let me catch you up. Matt Hardy is an insane ‘broken’ man who wanted to ‘delete’ (murder) his brother Jeff. They had an insane backyard wrestling match at Matt’s compound (his actual house) that was probably the best segment TNA has run in years. It wasn’t necessarily ‘good’, but it was crazy and Matt went all in on this character so you have to give them credit. Bray Wyatt, a cult leader who lives in a swamp, challenged the New Day to come to his compound (probably not his actual house) so he could fight them. It looked A LOT like the segment that Matt Hardy did, so people are now calling Bray a copy cat, and a bad one at that, since Hardy’s segment was admittedly a whole lot better. Bray jumped on Twitter to refute this claim, and it’s really fun to watch two good performers stay in character and feud on Twitter. All I want from this is Wyatt to show up to Hardy’s compound and burn his house down. Make this happen now.

Triple H Will Defend The WWE Title Against Dean Ambrose On 3/12 At The Newly Named WWE Roadblock Event

If you didn’t watch Raw last night, you missed The League of Nations and Triple H beat the ever loving shit out of Dean Ambrose to end the show. The show began with Ambrose challenging HHH for a title shot, claiming he knows deep down that Ambrose would beat him. HHH obliged Ambrose after pedigreeing him and then proceeding to punch him about 1,000 times. When Raw went off the air, we didn’t know when the title match would take place, but thanks to this tweet by WWE, we know it’ll be on March 12th. The event, which will air live on the WWE Network on Saturday March 12th from Toronto, was originally called the ‘March to WrestleMania’. Vince must have been in a bad mood after the Undertaker choked him last night, so he decided to change the event to ‘WWE Roadblock’. Both names are kind of terrible, but at least we’ll be getting a title match at a live event. I don’t know if this is a move to further push Ambrose for his eventual main event run after WrestleMania or if WWE is genuinely interested in making him a part of the main event, but either way, I’m intrigued.

-Ryan

#Oscars2016 Podcast – Drinking 40’s & Picking Winners

Our 19th podcast is all about the Oscars. We crack open a 40, talk about our very own Oscars drinking game and pick the winners. Listen to the YouTube video above and fill out your own ballot here! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @averagenobodies as we’ll be tweeting all night.

– The Average Nobodies

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