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Prince George is About to Have the Most Boring 1st Birthday Party Ever

PrinceIt’s going to be a prince of a party.

Britain’s royal family has plans to fete Prince George’s first birthday with a private tea party in Kensington Palace, according to Vanity Fair.

The Royal heir will become a 1-year-old on Tuesday and he’s already proving himself to be a forward child — already walking on his own.

His parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, released a photo ahead of his birthday that shows just how much their little cherub has grown.

Stumped

I’m sure it’s great being apart of the Royal family, but Prince George is getting screwed here. Obviously as a soon to be 1-year-old he doesn’t have much say in his birthday party plans. He doesn’t have much say in anything since he probably can’t talk. But when he grows up and looks at pictures from his 1st birthday party and finds out it was a tea party he’s going to be pissed. You know what 1-year-olds don’t give a shit about? Tea. I’m not saying he needs a huge stripper blowout birthday party, but something in between that and a tea party seems logical. You’re the Royal Family; you have unlimited resources, and you land on a private tea party for your newest addition’s 1st birthday? The lack of creativity and effort is disappointing to say the least. Also, I’m not too familiar with the developmental stages of a baby, but the fact that he’s walking around before the age of 1 blew my mind. Is this normal? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t functionally walking until at least 4 or 5.

– Ryan

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In Case You Were Wondering How Mick Foley’s Doing, Here’s a Video of Him Smashing a TV

What’s that old saying: ‘once a psychopath, always a psychopath?”. Well Mick Foley is driving the psychopath bus. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

– Ryan

The Instagram Reaction to Batista’s Royal Rumble Win Was a Rollercoaster of Emotions

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I have to say I wasn’t happy with Batista winning the Royal Rumble last night. Something about a guy leaving for four years then being back a week and already having a main event spot at Wrestlemania rubs me the wrong way. My dismay was nothing compared to the reaction on Instagram.

The first three commenters seem to be on the same page. Between Daniel Bryan not even being in the Rumble and Batista eventually winning it, there were alot of pissed off fans. I can honestly say I’ve never watched a Rumble where the most popular guy (Bryan, by far) wasn’t included in the match. Not wanting someone to main event Mania is one thing, but not allowing the guy to even be in the rumble is just plain dumb.

While most of the commenters were pissed off, @paintrainexpress just wanted some answers: someone tell him who won the goddamn royal timbal! And while we’re at it make sure that last commenter knows another word besides boycott.

– Ryan

It’s Royal Rumble Weekend!

If you and 9 of your friends aren’t betting on the Royal Rumble then I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. May the best man win!

– The Average Nobodies

Monday Night Raw Should Be Decent Tonight

I’m a sucker for nostalgia, but I have a feeling this week’s raw is going to be one for the record books. A lot of good storylines, especially the next chapter in the Wyatt’s/Daniel Bryan saga combined with all the returning legends should make a solid episode. Although if I don’t see Ric Flair elbow drop his suit jacket I’ll be horribly disappointed.

– Ryan

Monster Blog – Royal Baby Name Central

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! This royal baby nonsense has gone on far enough, and it’s time for the Average Nobodies to put our classy touch on the birth of the century.  Here’s what we know, the baby is a boy…and that’s about it.  So here are our top names we think Kate and Will should consider naming their little bundle of joy.

Prince Indiana Jones of Cambridge

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Right out the gate this kid is going to be a stud, I can feel it.  I mean come on, look at his mom, dad,  aunt, and uncle.  This royal offspring is swimming in good genes, i actually haven’t seen this good a gene pool since the Mannings and the Baldwins.  To complement this kids deadly charm he needs to have a dynamite name.  Prince Indy will be all the rage 20-something years from now.  Named after one of the greatest humans to ever live, Prince Indiana will pick off where Harrison Ford left off, kicking ass and discovering ancient artifacts.  Not to mention he will have good ‘ol Uncle Harry to come along on all of his adventures.

-MattyV

PS- Or we could go with Charlie Daniel’s suggestion

Captain Jacob Van Loon of Cambridge

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I like to picture the royal baby as a infant super villain. From day one he’s a terror for both William and Kate. He refuses to be another pawn in their royal power game, and at age 18, he runs away from home. No one hears from Captain Jacob until a few years later, when he battles his father for the title of undisputed ruler of England. Of course the English version of a power struggle will probably be a fencing match or who can eat the most crumpets in one sitting. Either way, Captain Jacob is going to be one bad ass baby.

P.S. I know the baby’s official title will be prince, but no self respecting villain can call themself a prince. Plus, if Jacob and William are ever on a boat, Jacob will be in charge. There is no higher authority on a boat then a captain.

– Ryan

It’s A Boy…

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..ok, are we done with this shit yet?

-MattyV

PS- I can finally sleep at night

Some Tweets About it…

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