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Insane Instagram Comments: Sofia Vergara

Here’s an Instagram picture Sofia Vergara put out yesterday:

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Party scene NoLa

A post shared by Sofia Vergara (@sofiavergara) on

Pretty normal picture. She’s obviously enjoying herself in New Orleans and wanted to let everybody know about it. Can’t hate on that. Now look at the last comment in this next picture:

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Linda. That’s it. I don’t know who Linda is but she obviously has a fan out there. The only thing I can think of is @nahuelcha has been looking for Linda for a long, long time. Commenting “Linda” on every Facebook, Twitter and Instagram post hoping one Linda will come home. Not a bad strategy I suppose. Another crazy day in the wild world of Instagram.

– Ryan

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It’s WWE Network Day!

The Get Down

Goodbye social life. It’s been real.

– The Average Nobodies

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – George Clooney Press Week

Oh my sweet Clooney. Some people look forward to Christmas. Some people look forward to their birthday. I look forward to George Clooney’s media week. He’s promoting Monuments Men, which I will probably see, but right now the matter at hand is Clooney. Letterman one day, The Daily Show the next (YouTube has banned the Daily Show video. Nobody bans Clooney!). So effortless. So suave. Cracking jokes, making everyone in the room feel like they’ve been best friends for years. If I ever met a magic genie, I’d wish for George Clooney to come out with 52 movies a year, so we’d never have to be apart.

– Ryan

P.S.

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The Positive Side Of Social Media

(Source) “Some people spend decades searching for their biological parents, often never succeeding in tracking them down. So when Whitney Brock found her “real” mother in just 12 hours after starting a Facebook campaign, her newfound mom had to say, “It’s like winning the lottery. Better than winning the lottery.”

22-year-old Whitney had been adopted in 1991, just after her birth. Although she had a happy upbringing with Teresa and Andy Brock, her adoptive parents, Whitney had always wondered who her biological mother was.

Said Whitney, “I was just like, I wonder what my biological family is doing right now. Do they care about me? Do they miss me?”

She took a chance on Facebook, posting a photo of herself holding a cardboard sign reading, “I’m looking for my birth mother,” followed by details like the name of the hospital and her birthday.

The image spread over rapidly over the web. Said Whitney, “So many people were sharing it, liking it, commenting on it.”

A Florida woman performed some research upon seeing the post, and responded with a list of names and phone numbers.

Whitney called the first person on the list:  “I said I know this sounds crazy, but is there any way you put a baby up for adoption in 1991? And she said,’ on February 6th?’ I said ‘yes,’ and she said ‘is this Whitney Brock?’ I said ‘yes.’ She said ‘hi Whitney. I’m your mother.’”

It turned out that Whitney’s mom, Jennifer Moorhead, was looking at Whitney’s Facebook post just as her daughter called.

A week after speaking on the phone, the pair met for the first time since Whitney’s birth at Stoll’s Amish Buffet.

“I could not believe how much she looks like me,” said Jennifer. “She walks like me.”

Said Whitney, “Just listening to her speak, the phrases she uses, like, it reminds me of things I would say.” 

Jennifer also got to meet her granddaughter Rylan, along with Whitney’s adoptive parents.  Jennifer and Whitney plan to see each other again in a month.”

 

For every annoying person on social media, we hope there is a story such as this. Whitney Brock started a Facebook campaign to find her biological parents, and 12 hours later, she was talking on the phone with her biological mother. A week later they met, and we were all reminded why social media was created in the first place: it keeps us connected to the people we care about, even if we can’t see them everyday. Heartwarming Tuesday indeed.

Not only did Whitney get to meet her biological mom...

– Ryan

 

How The Breaking Bad Violence vs. Hair Chart Relates To Fat George Zimmerman

The oatmeal created an awesome (and accurate) breaking bad chart that analyzes each character’s tendency for violence vs. how much hair they have. Since George Zimmerman can’t see to keep his fat head out of trouble, I decided to do a little analyzing of my own.

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Here’s George Zimmerman in 2005 after a domestic violence incident. Still not a choir boy, but the case was eventually thrown out. Also, notice Zimmerman has a full head of hair and he’s fat.

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Here’s George Zimmerman towards the end of the Trayvon Martin trial, and only a few months before his most recent domestic violence incident. He isn’t pure evil by any means, and he’s grown out his hair and somehow gotten fatter.

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Fresh off a murder George Zimmerman. That’s right, no hair, semi-skinny, and now he’s a murderer. Shot an unarmed kid. When George Zimmerman is fat with a full head of hair, he get’s into minor domestic disturbances. When George Zimmerman gets a buzz cut and loses weight, he turns into a murderer.

Moral of the story: whether you’re cooking meth to feed your family during a cancer battle or a member of the neighborhood watch, if you’re skinny with a shaved head and a goatee you’re a cold blooded murderer.

– Ryan

Brandon “Butt Fumble” Moore Is Retiring

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“Brandon Moore has texted ESPN New York’s Rich Cimini to dispute the original report, saying that he is waiting for the right opportunity After testing the free agency waters and finding them unsuitable, former Jets offensive guard Brandon Moore is expected to retire after 10 seasons in the NFL, according to ESPN contributor Adam Caplan. Moore originally signed with the Jets in 2002 as an undrafted free agent and served as an anchor on the team’s offensive line for the next decade, starting 142 games, including a streak of 137 straight. Cap issues and the selection of guard Brian Winters in the 2013 draft prompted the Jets to part ways with Moore this offseason. Moore was pursued by and took visits to the Detroit Lions and Miami Dolphins, but did not reach an agreement with either. Reports suggested the 33-year-old was asking for starting player money and teams were unwilling to go that high. Despite his many accomplishments on the field over his 10 seasons, including a Pro Bowl selection in 2011, Moore is perhaps best known for his role in the 2012 Mark Sanchez “Buttfumble” incident. That’s him, No. 65, unintentionally demolishing his quarterback and creating a yet-unbroken streak on SportsCenter’s Worst of the Worst”. – sbnation.com

You were born Brandon Moore, but you’ll always be known as “butt fumble” to us. An ode to “butt fumble”:

You were a Jet, always on guard
Wearing green and white, battered and scarred
You protected Mark, as best as you could
Though your team was better off, with an old piece of wood
You wore number 65, a proud and strong man
Who was showered with love, from every Jets fan
Men ran behind you, coaches would cheer
As every D tackle, would cower in fear
Now it’s all over, retirement at last
We’ll never forget, that big beautiful ass.

Fly away sweet prince. Fly away and be free.

– Ryan

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