Blog Archives
Friday Fire Alert: FuckinSavage.Com Presents The Hottest T-Shirt In The Game: “Collusion”
It doesn’t matter if you love or hate politics, or if you voted for Trump or Hillary or wrote in your crazy neighbor who seems nice but you know there’s something going on there. Despite all of our differences, be it political, social or otherwise, I think there is one thing we can all agree on: we all love t-shirts.
I’m not a father, but I honestly can’t picture myself more excited for the birth of my son or daughter than I was when I won a free t-shirt at Boston Celtics game. It was the apex of my happiness here on Planet Earth. While this t-shirt isn’t free, it’s well worth you time and money, so open your wallets and your hearts and check out the majestic beauty that is “Collusion”.
Donald Trump “Collusion” Shirts Now Available on FuckinSavage.com, and They Are Going Viral!
Photo: FuckinSavage.com
Photo: FuckinSavage.com
Over the past year, there have been accusations of multiple government officials “colluding” with Russia.
Of these officials, these accusations are focused primarily on President Donald Trump’s administration. source: http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/03/politics/mueller-investigation-russia-trump-one-year-financial-ties/index.html
However, in light of recent revelations, it seems Hillary Clinton is being accused of collusion too. source: http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/355749-fbi-uncovered-russian-bribery-plot-before-obama-administration
On Monday night, the website FuckinSavage.com appeared on the Internet. On this site, there are 2 versions of shirts focused on “collusion” and the 2 people who are most likely involved in the “collusion”: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
The shirts simply say: “Who Are You Colluding With?” and feature silhouettes of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
“We haven’t chosen a side,” said Dave Sunshine, owner of FuckinSavage.com. “We hope to see the American people choose the shirt with the side they agree with most. We are anticipating selling millions of Trump “Collusion” Shirts. We put the shirts online Monday night as a joke, and they have instantly started going viral.”
FuckinSavage.com hopes that it can provide the American people with what they need to satisfy their “collusion” accusation, no matter what side they are on.
The shirts are available on FuckinSavage.com, which is a Google Trusted Store, provided by Spreadshirt.com.
“Please remember that this is satirical humor,” said Dave. “The reason why we made both shirts is to provide the offended candidate with ammunition to offend.”
FuckinSavage.com is the home of the most controversial shirts on the Internet, and is preparing to release more shirts this month.
050 Cam Newton Takes A Loss Versus The Internet
On today’s show we have: Cam Newton vs. the internet, conspiracy theories we actually believe in, Donald Trump doing everyday things, “What are we Watching” and we wrap up with our TV Club highlighting The Deuce, Episode 4, I See Money. You can chat with us on Twitter @AverageNobodies, toss us a like on Facebook @AverageNobodies and heart all our pictures on instagram, @AverageNobodies. Don’t forget, this podcast is available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio and YouTube.
The President Of The United States Doesn’t Use Proper Grammar & It Infuriates Me
Photo: Twitter
Photo: Twitter
Photo: Twitter
Twitter is a black hole filled with darkness and despair, but if there’s one thing that infuriates me to no end it’s that Donald Trump, the mother fucking President of the United States, can’t spell OR use proper grammar. His tweets read like a resume someone who didn’t pass the 1st grade would submit to a new job. I see people misspell or use incorrect grammar on Twitter all the time and it doesn’t make me mad because who gives a shit, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have the POTUS use the correct there/their/they’re or to/too. It can’t be too much to ask. How did it come to this? How did the most important job in the world fall in the lap of a man who can’t be bothered to proofread his tweets? Honestly, if I see one more tweet with a grammar error I’ll be praying for nuclear war just so I don’t have to see him send out 10 consecutive tweets before he forms a coherent sentence.
-Ryan
It’s Officially Impossible To Parody The US Government
When Donald Trump was elected President, I knew there were going to be a lot of changes. Before Trump, even if you didn't like or agree with the President, you respected the office and the fact that he was the most powerful man in the free world. That is no longer the case. When Trump goes to Twitter before notifying his Secretary of Defense or the Pentagon about his new ban on transgender people serving in the military, it sparks reactions like that of the Governor of Nevada, who said he won't make changes to the National Guard unless instructed to do so by the Secretary of Defense. In other words, what the President says doesn't matter.
To people like me and you, the President's words haven't mattered since January. But for other elected officials to basically say "this guy is nuts, I'll wait to hear from a sane voice" is pretty crazy when you're talking about the POTUS.
Because we now live in a dystopian, idiotic world, the President's transgender tweet barely stayed in the news cycle for 48 hours. A lot of that has to do with healthcare, which as of early this morning, is still unchanged. But what I'm choosing to focus on is the White House's new communication director, Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci. The New Yorker ran a piece yesterday on him where he talked ON THE RECORD about a whole host of things, and it's beyond parody. Here are some excerpts:
Scaramucci, who initiated the call, did not ask for the conversation to be off the record or on background.
Always a good sign when the communications director doesn't know how to speak to the press off the record.
“They’ll all be fired by me,” he said. “I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I’ll fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he’ll be asked to resign very shortly.” The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn’t been invited. “Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,” Scaramucci said. He channeled Priebus as he spoke: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ” (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)
If those aren't the words of a level headed guy then I don't know what is. Always an uplifting sign when the new guy in the White House threatens to fire literally everyone over something he can't prove. This is also foreshadowing the rest of the conversation, as we see The Mooch has an affinity to saying the word 'cock'.
Scaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,” he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. “I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.” (Bannon declined to comment.)
BINGO! So much to dissect in that statement. Comparing wanting media attention to sucking your own cock, inferring that since he doesn't suck his own cock, he's here to serve the country, and my personal favorite 'Bannon declined to comment'. Oh you don't say? He didn't want to comment on the statement from the White House communications director that says he sucks his own cock? Shocking! This is all extremely disheartening, but at least we'll always have this tweet:
https://twitter.com/wyatt_privilege/status/890702212858511361
The article goes on and on and on, and while Scaramucci might not like to suck his own cock, he sure likes to hear himself talk. This is the world we live in, folks, and these are the people in charge of our country. Happy Friday?
-Ryan
039 Kid Rock For The Iron Throne (and Senate)
Enter to win the Jon Snow Pop Vinyl here – bit.ly/jonsnowgiveaway | Talk to us on twitter – @AverageNobodies | Read our blog – www.averagenobodies.com | Leave us a voicemail – 401-285-8120
Andy Serkis Reading Donald Trump’s Tweets As Gollum Is Magical
Reading and following Donald Trump’s Twitter account prior to November 8th was a roller coaster, but now that he’s the leader of the free world, it’s frightening. He rarely makes sense, which is not something you’d prefer to be the main talking point of a world leader. Andy Serkis joined Stephen Colbert last night and brought a bit of levity to the whole ‘Donald Trump is probably going to end us all’ storyline by reading some of Trump’s tweets as Gollum. Skip ahead to the 4:00 minute to listen. Also, I’ll take Andy Serkis as Gollum as Trump’s new Press Secretary immediately.
-Ryan
Delta & Bank of America Have Pulled Funding From The NY Public Theater Over A Trump Comparison In ‘Julius Caesar’
Spoiler alert: At the end of Shakespeare’s play, Julius Caesar is assassinated.
But some would like to see a happier ending — or at least a toga-clad Caesar — in a new production opening Monday night in which the protagonist sports a modern business suit and blond hair — details that make him look suspiciously like a certain somebody.
Complaints by Donald Trump Jr., among others, that the staging hints at the assassination of the president have prompted corporate sponsors to yank their funding for the New York Public Theater, whose Shakespeare in the Park productions are a venerable New York tradition.The exodus was led by Delta Airlines, which announced Sunday that it was withdrawing as the Public Theater’s official airline. “No matter what your political stance may be, the graphic staging of Julius Caesar at this summer’s Free Shakespeare in the Park does not reflect Delta Airlines’ values,” the carrier’s statement said. “Their artistic and creative direction crossed the line on the standards of good taste.” – LA Times
The Tragedy of Julius Caesar is a 400+ year old play by William Shakespeare. It is not a play about Donald Trump. Yes, the character of Julius Caesar looked like and wore the same wardrobe as Trump, but to claim that this play is about Trump is show an alarming amount of ignorance. While people are quick to lash out and demand all funding be pulled from the NY Public Theater, it’s highly likely that they didn’t do any research on the thousands of different performances of this play. Back in 2012, a stage company in Minnesota put on an Obama inspired production of the play. Delta was a sponsor of that play. Again, this is a play that is over 400 years old that will most likely relate to every man or women in power until the end of time. This is a play about democracy, and how fragile it is when the wrong people are in power. As Twitter quickly pointed out, comparing Caesar to a sitting President is not a new trend:
It shouldn’t be surprising that Trump and his supporters are trying to put handcuffs (whether literally or figuratively) on the Arts. Back in March Trump planned to cut the Funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting to zero and also eliminate funding for the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities. In all instances, Trump was the first US President to propose these cuts. When corporate sponsors like Delta and Bank of America make decisions like this, it looks bad from all angles, especially when you’re talking about the play JULIUS CAESAR. One more time – the play is over 400 years old. I know Trump and his supporters want the world to revolve around them and their views, but that’s not how life works.
To donate to the NY Public Theater, follow this link – https://publictheater.org/Support/Donate-Now/
-Ryan
Donald Trump Is Clearly Losing His Mind
President Donald Trump sent out a series of tweets Wednesday morning attacking Democratic Sen. Richard Blumenthal, who had repeatedly criticized the president’s firing of FBI Director James Comey.
“Watching Senator Richard Blumenthal speak of Comey is a joke. ‘Richie’ devised one of the greatest military frauds in U.S. history,” Trump tweeted of the senator from Connecticut. “For years, as a pol in Connecticut, Blumenthal would talk of his great bravery and conquests in Vietnam — except he was never there.
“When caught, he cried like a baby and begged for forgiveness … and now he is judge & jury. He should be the one who is investigated for his acts.”
Blumenthal appeared on CNN on Wednesday morning, saying there was “really a looming constitutional crisis that is deadly serious.”
The senator also was a guest on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on Wednesday, calling for a special counsel to investigate the Trump campaign’s alleged ties to Russia; Comey had been leading the FBI’s investigation into the matter when he was fired. – Yahoo
Trump’s firing people, tweet-storming & drinking Coca-Cola on command – sounds just like an average somebody.
Oh Mama! This is the Trumpstravaganza and unless you’re white, have white hair, you better not get on his shitty list. 2 Days ago, Trump fired Comey, director of the FBI, and that doesn’t stand for Female Body Inspector. Today, after being the big man on campus, he rose to the “grande” man on campus, when Richard Blumenthal had some sharp words about El Presidente de Trump.
Blumenthal was hit with Trump’s Savage response. Love him or hate him, don’t fuck with him because his words will tear you limb from limb, and when there’s nothing left, he just might get hungry. But Trump, the possible fraud, told Blumenthal that he’s a fraud.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my Nobodies, my Dom Perrignon’s, I wouldn’t criticize the man. I’m waiting for him to pour his can of Coke on someone, and then that possibly may just be Judgement Day. But, until that day my friends, stay fucking classy like Ron Burgandy and make sure you stay off Trump’s Twitter and out of his way, because he just might fire you, and you probably don’t even have a job. Think about that one.
~ The Doctah
