Blog Archives

Donald Trump’s Obsession With Pictures Has Infected The @Patriots

We all know Donald Trump is obsessed with being right. He’s also obsessed with pictures, which started after his inauguration in January. As you can see in the picture below, Trump’s inauguration was not as well attended as his predecessor’s:

Now you can argue that the picture has been altered and that the sun sets in the East and rises in the West, but let’s just say that the above picture is accurate. Fast forward three months and we have another picture controversy on our hands thanks to the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots visiting Trump at the White House. The Patriots already announced that less players were showing up compared to 2015 but that the overall number of personnel and players would be about the same. Then, this picture happened:

Instead of just letting it go, the official Patriots Twitter account decided to chime in and give their take on the picture, which not only seems unnecessary, but seems like something that was directed by Trump himself:

The Patriots are a team that rarely officially comment on anything, so to have them come out and tweet something like that is odd. Kraft and Trump are butt buddies, and Belichick even wrote Trump a letter during the campaign, so you have to imagine that friendship and Trump’s obsession with being popular has a lot to do with it. Of course, Trump also weighed in on the picture, because he apparently has nothing better to do:

If you’re looking for some fresh reasons to hate the Patriots, you know have some ammo.



Steely_Phil’s Music Post – Blue Magic

Well I knew it.  Donald Trump is president.  I said it in my inaugural post that there was something about him.  Now look what happened………I mean I didn’t vote, but you guys fucked up big time.  But to be honest I could care less about politics.  His presidency may or may not be a successful one, but at the very least we get four years of comedy gold. And who knows maybe he gets impeached, that oughta be pretty funny too.  So give the golden raisin a chance, maybe he’ll surprise you.  But in case this whole thing turns into a circus, I got just the song to start it off. Check out that choreography.

– Steely_Phil





#SNL Is Riding A Rating’s Hot Streak As They Prepare For Their Most Important Episode Of The Season

SNLComedy seems to thrive in adversity—according to the latest ratings for Saturday Night Live, the long-running satirical sketch show is seeing its highest numbers in over 20 years. Variety reports that Donald Trump’s victory at the polls, as well as his relentless “criticism” of the show, have boosted viewership among among adults 18-49. SNL’s February 4 episode was the second highest rated of the week, trailing behind The Big Bang Theory.

Here are some more numbers that attest to this yuge development: SNL’s viewership has grown by 19% among adults 18-49, and 22% in total viewers (that’s now 10.6 million), when compared to the same period last season. NBC says these ratings are the highest they’ve been since the 1994-1995 season.

When Donald Trump vowed to ‘Make America Great Again’ on the campaign trail, I can’t imagine he thought that his actions and words would catapult a late night comedy institution to create their most popular work in decades. Believe it or not, here we are, and SNL has been thriving under Trump, turning in a superb season including one of their best episodes last week. The biggest reason for that is embedded above, as Melissa McCarthy made a surprise guest appearance as Sean Spicer and left us all floored in the process. The ratings for the season as a whole are at a 22 year high (the highest since the 94-95 season with a cast featuring Chris Farley, David Spade, Adam Sandler & Mike Myers, among others) and they’re about to take part in their most important episode yet. The main reason for that is because the host for Saturday’s show (Alec Baldwin, hosting for the 17th time) is the man pegged with playing Donald Trump. In most election years the shows from September-December/January would feature the candidates and the President elect, but this year has been different. Every cold open has featured Baldwin’s Trump in some way, and it’s working.

There are people who think SNL should stray away from Trump and get back to other sketch topics, but that is impossible to do when the President himself is tweeting about your show every Sunday morning. Like everything else Trump tweets about, it’s 100% negative, and it’s clear that the material SNL is putting on air is getting under his paper thin skin. Nobody loves themselves more than Donald Trump, so it must kill him to watch himself get parodied every week. SNL knows that, and knows that he’s watching, which must make the ratings news that much sweeter for the writers and cast. Will Baldwin’s Trump be a one and done in the cold open like episodes past, or will SNL rely on him for multiple sketches throughout the show? Nobody knows the answer except for Lorne Michaels, who has the final say on what sketches make the air, but from a logistical standpoint, my guess is that Trump will only be featured in the cold open. It’d be tough to continually get Baldwin in and out of Trump’s makeup and wardrobe throughout the show, but I wouldn’t sleep on some kind of pre-taped digital short featuring Trump.

The other big question floating around social media is ‘who will play Steve Bannon’? SNL chose to portray him as the Grim Reaper on last week’s show, but that doesn’t strike me as a long term solution. Will it be a current cast member or will they stray outside the box like they did with McCarthy? The AV Club has a fascinating article detailing why it shouldn’t be Rosie O’Donnell, and I 100% agree. While it would be a deep personal dig at Trump, I don’t think it would have the impact some people are hoping for. The reason McCarthy’s Spicer worked so good and is because it was completely unexpected and McCarthy is a comedic gold mine. O’Donnell clearly isn’t as talented as McCarthy, and at this point the whole world would be expecting it. That same article throws out possible picks of Robert De Niro, John Goodman and Jonah Hill. De Niro has been publicly against Trump in the past, but I don’t know if at this stage he’d be willing to do something like this. Goodman has already played Rex Tillerson this season, so casting him as Bannon would be overkill. Of the three, Hill would be the best choice, especially if he can get himself to that deranged, maniacal level we’ve seen during past hosting stints. If I had to pick a current cast member and a random celebrity, I’d go with Bobby Moynihan (channeling his evil political Kim Jong-un impression, only less wacky) and I’d go full throttle crazy and put Danny DeVito on there. I dare you tell me you wouldn’t watch Danny DeVito in a hair piece playing Steve Bannon.


Kate McKinnon’s Hillary Clinton Sang ‘Hallelujah’ During This Week’s Very Different #SNL Cold Open

We’re almost a week removed from the election results that saw Donald Trump win the nomination for President of the United States, and I think I speak for a lot of Americans when I say that I was really looking forward to SNL last weekend. Some of us badly needed an escape, even if it was just for an hour and a half, and that’s exactly what SNL gave us. Lorne Michaels and company still get flack for letting Trump host an episode last year, and the flack is 100% deserved. They helped normalize Trump, and even though the election was still over a year away, letting him do something like that ended up being a very bad decision. That’s why I’m glad Alec Baldwin’s Trump didn’t make an appearance on Saturday night, because I don’t think anyone is ready to laugh at any version of him at the moment. Instead of a normal election themed cold open (which has opened every SNL this season), we got Kate McKinnon, in full Hillary Clinton garb, sitting alone at a piano singing ‘Hallelujah’. It was a powerful moment, and acted as both a tribute to the late Leonard Cohen and reminded us to that while the election is over, we should never, ever give up fighting bigotry and injustice in this country. Kate McKinnon is infuriatingly talented, and much like everything she does on SNL, she knocked this segment out of the park.


Donald Trump Will Be The 45th President of the United States


I was trying to think of a funny title for this post, but nothing about last night, and the 2016 Presidential election in general, was funny. It was an exhausting, mostly hate filled campaign from both sides, and no matter the outcome, it seemed like the majority of American’s wouldn’t have been happy. While what Trump can do as President remains to be seen, the way he got there is very depressing. The fact that so many people voted for a guy who used such hate filled rhetoric, mocked disabled people, boasted about sexual assault, declared an entire nationality of people rapists and called his foreign policy plan a secret is dumbfounding to me. Now the other side will argue that the candidate I voted for deleted her emails, and while I struggle to find the common ground between all those things I listed and deleted emails, this is now the new America. A vote for Trump is a vote for bullying, racism, sexism, prejudice, lying and self absorption. That’s who Donald Trump is, and while he’ll be forced to work with people to get things done as President, the way he arrived to the White House, and the nastiness of people who supported him along the way, will never be forgotten. You can blame Trump, because he’s the figurehead for this entire ‘movement’, but he’s a 70 year old who’s been this way his entire life. His supporters, some of whom are my friends and family, are the one’s I’m the most disappointed in. Yes there are people, well informed and logical people, who voted for him. But there are also people who deep down felt the same way Trump felt and were just waiting for someone else to say it. That’s scary to me, because they didn’t vote for a guy with a solid plan to fix America domestically and internationally. They voted for a guy who mumbled his way through speeches, spewed hate upon anyone who dared go against him, and brought out the gutter worst in people. I’m ashamed to be apart of a country that thinks all the things that Donald Trump said and did are not only okay, but the right path for the future of this country. You’ll see a lot of tweets and think pieces about how we need to unite as a country after this election, and while that’s true, we should not forget how this election made us feel. We elected a shitty human being as President of the United States, and I have no faith that it’s going to get any better from here.


Book Release – Stone Dick: The American Superhero

October 26, 2016 – With the final debate coming up, a group of writers known as the Average Nobodies, has released a book about the Super Hero that America and the world needs: Stone Dick: The American Superhero.

The book, Stone Dick: The American Superhero, follows a modern day superhero on his quest to rid America of scum and ISIS with an American spin on things.

Stone Dick brings humor to today’s most pressing lifestyle, political, and American problems while saving the world.

Stone Dick includes cameo appearances by superstars like The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Snoop Dogg, Donald Trump and others!

“We’d like to stay anonymous, as we have written the book for Americans by Americans” said King Savage Media, spokesman for the Average Nobodies. “We hope the book will provide people with the humor and hope they need to see America through it’s perils.”

“We wrote this book to be as American as they come,” the Average Nobodies added. “We think it’s a success, and hope you enjoy it as much as we had fun writing it!”

Buy the book here:

My Favorite Sketch From Margot Robbie’s #SNL: Presidential Debate

Margot Robbie hosted the season premiere of SNL on Saturday night, and overall it was a great show. We got our first pre-taped sketch of the season, the bizarrely funny ‘The Librarian’. We also got our first Family Feud sketch, and what I hope is the first of many David Ortiz spots on Weekend Update.

SNL struggled to satirize what is happening in politics last season, and I think a lot of that has to do with just how insane our current political landscape is. Donald Trump is one of two people who have the chance to become the President of the United States. How are you supposed to get any crazier than that? The biggest change coming into season 42 was the man playing Trump, as SNL switched from former cast member and current MC Darrell Hammond to Alec Baldwin. I’d never seen or heard Baldwin do a Trump impression before, but any fears I had that he wouldn’t deliver were erased right away. He nailed the voice and the mannerisms of the Donald, and I cant wait to see what else he brings to the table as the season goes on. Emmy winner Kate McKinnon was brilliant as usual as Clinton, and the extended cold open set the stage for a really fun season premiere. Next week, Lin-Manuel Miranda takes the stage.


Glad To See Randy Quaid Is Doing Well


It’s honestly shocking to me that Randy Quaid knows how to upload a video to Twitter. Look at that guy. He is the dictionary definition of insane. The fact that he’s allowed to walk around and film himself yelling into a camera and also knows how to upload that video to Twitter is kind of astounding. I didn’t dig too deep into his Twitter profile because I don’t feel like hanging myself today, so I’m not sure who he plans on voting for, but I’d bet a large sum of money it won’t be Hillary Clinton. If I’m someone who’s on the fence going into this election, watching this video might make me vote for Hillary just so Randy Quaid disappears back into the abyss.


Donald Trump Is Having Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka & Bobby Knight Appear At The GOP National Convention Because No One Know What Is Happening

TRUMP – Donald Trump’s campaign aides are lining up a slate of iconic sports figures to appear at the national convention in Cleveland next month—including former undisputed world heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, legendary Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka, former Indiana University basketball coach Bobby Knight and NASCAR chief Brian France, people familiar with the planning told Bloomberg Politics.

First of all, in any other scenario, bringing Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka and Bobby Knight to the same place at the same time is a borderline genius move. Three legitimately insane guys who all have done questionable/horrible things but who America refuses to show anything but love to are three guys who you want on your side. The only scenario I can think of where this would inappropriate/insane is if you were the Republican nomine for the POTUS and you were bringing them to a national convention. And that is exactly what Donald Trump is doing. The most sane person in that group is Bobby Knight. Do you know how crazy that sounds? Tyson is a convicted rapist. There has to be hundreds of people Trump could have gotten to come speak at a national convention who are not convicted rapists. But nope, he goes with Tyson. Mike Ditka has gone on the record as saying that being gay is a choice, because apparently it’s 1922 and nobody told me. I don’t know of any radical social opinions that Bobby Knight has, but this is a guy who used to throw his chair on the basketball court when a call didn’t go his way and who used to choke his own players, so I have to imagine there’s a few bat-shit ideas rattling around in that brain of his. I know Trump is really stressing the anti government platform, and you have to assume Hillary is going to trot out the same old politicians that every other person does at these conventions, but Jesus Christ, there had to be a better group of people that Trump could get. While this movie will most likely backfire, I will say this: I won’t be voting for Trump, but if you think I’m going to miss Bobby Knight, Mike Tyson and Mike Ditka talk politics, you’re out of your goddamn mind.