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People Are Actually Upset That Michael Phelps Didn’t Race An Actual Shark #SharkWeek

Michael Phelps, a shark and the race that never happened.

Yeah. I said it. Oh my god, there wasn’t an actual shark.  It was a scam.  Oh my.

Fans of Discovery’s Shark Week were thrilled when they learned Michael Phelps would be racing a great white shark on Phelps vs. Shark: Great Gold vs. Great White. The widely publicized race garnered lots of attention on social media and was a trending topic on Twitter.

Unfortunately for Discovery, most of the viewer feedback from the show was frustration. It seems that many viewers thought Phelps was going to literally race a great white shark. But the behavioral ecologist leading the experiment, Dr. Tristan Guttridge, disappointed thousands when he said, “Clearly, we can’t put Michael in one lane and a white shark on the far lane. We have to do simulation.” – Yahoo

The world reacting to our collective stupidity

But look on the bright side, off the marketing and viewing alone, Michael Phelps and the producers made a pretty penny.  Think about it, he only has to get you to watch the show, not to like it. He did what he had to do. And he did it well. For that Michael Phelps, we salute you.  I didn’t watch it. I don’t care to. You didn’t get me, Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps will never be on another Shark Week. That’s ok, his career is over, and he has enough Olympic money to pay for him and 1,000 simulated sharks to drink pina coladas on the beach all day. And if he ever goes broke, he can sell the Olympic Gold. Savage, I know. But like I said, he does what he has to do when he has to do it.

My Nobodies (I capitalize you like the Gods you are), do you think you think Michael Phelps would beat a real shark?  Odds are that as soon as that shark bumped into the wall, he would freak the fuck out and not continue.  Hence why there was a simulation.  So don’t be mad.  Be glad he’s not dead.  Oh and be glad that one day you too may have the power to buy his Olympic Gold.

~The Doctah~



A 22-Mile Swim Isn’t Enough for “The Shark”

Jim Dreyer (1)A long-distance swimmer who calls himself “The Shark” is ready to jump into Lake St. Clair for a 30-hour, 22-mile dip. If that isn’t enough, Jim Dreyer plans to haul dinghies filled with 2,000 pounds of bricks. The 49-year-old has made direct crossings of each of the five Great Lakes. He plans to begin his latest swim Monday from a spot near Algonac, and it’ll end Tuesday at Detroit’s Belle Isle. And he’s doing it without a support boat. One of the dinghies is equipped with a radar target so Dreyer will show up on radar screens of passing freighters. He has to feed himself and won’t leave the water until coming ashore in Detroit.

Dreyer is trying to raise money and awareness for Habitat for Humanity. – NBC25

2,000 pounds of bricks? You don’t say? I guess a man who calls himself “The Shark” has to up the ante when a 22-mile swim just isn’t enough for him.  To add to the insanity of swimming across one of the great lakes with no support boat, his destination is Detroit! Who in their right mind makes there final stop the city of Detroit. I can see the finish line now, Jim gets held up at gun point and his bricks get stolen. Two tons of bricks must have a high street value in Detroit about this time. God speed, sir.


Why Pete Carroll and I Should be Best Friends – Reason #34

Just a 60 year-old man who gets as excited for Shark Week as my 6 year-old cousin.  An all-around good guy who brings his sincere excitement everywhere he goes.


PS- I don’t buy into the hype of Shark Week, but I won’t knock people who get excited about it.

PSS- You know he loved ‘Sharknado’

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