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Sweet Whiskey Tits: McDonald’s All Day Breakfasts Could Launch Nationwide As Soon As October

BOOM McDonald’s Corp. is telling franchisees to prepare for a potential nationwide launch of all-day breakfast as soon as October, according to an internal memo sent to U.S. operators last week.

The memo, from LeAnn Richards, who is leading McDonald’s All-day Breakfast Task Force, and Central Zone President Charlie Strong, said that early results from all-day breakfast tests in San Diego and Nashville were “encouraging.”

“Our customers love it — they’ve been asking for it for years — and our crew in the test markets enjoy this new platform because it makes changeover much smoother,” the memo said.

Talk about a great way to head into the weekend. A while back we heard rumblings of a possible all day breakfast from McDonald’s, which is pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m not just talking about McDonald’s; I’m talking about life. An all day McDonald’s breakfast menu would solve a lot of mine and society’s ills. If this is really happening in October or the near future, then the world is about to change for the better. McDonald’s for the win.

– Ryan

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There Is Currently A Hamburger Assault Epidemic In Florida Right Now

FloridaDuring an argument over infidelity, a Florida woman threw a hamburger at her boyfriend, striking him in the eye and landing her in jail.

According to cops, Rykihia Moore and Mario Thornton were bickering Saturday evening over Moore reportedly “being unfaithful.”

In the midst of the verbal beef inside a Clearwater home, the 27-year-old Moore “took a hamburger” and threw it at Thornton, her beau of 12 months. The burger, a criminal complaint alleges, struck Thornton in the eye.

Florida, AgainA man accused of hitting his dad with a McDonald’s bag with hamburgers in it likely wasn’t lovin’ it when deputies tossed him in the Indian River County Jail, according to an arrest affidavit.

Tanner Wolf, 19, was jailed May 24 on a misdemeanor charge after the hamburger hullabaloo in Vero Beach.

Wolf’s father told Indian River County Sheriff’s investigators that Wolf has been causing problems. He “is using marijuana and out of his mind,” the affidavit states.

Wolf’s father said he asked his son to get his feet off the kitchen counters. He said his son grew upset and began cursing at him.

That’s when Wolf is accused of lobbing the McDonald’s bag with burgers in it, striking his dad.

wtfih

We haven’t heard from Florida in awhile, so it only makes sense for them to come back with a bang. While the 99.9% of the world is busy eating hamburgers, Florida is busy assaulting people with them. My only question is this is kind of a stretch for assault. How injured can someone be from a flying hamburger, especially from McDonald’s. McDonald’s hamburgers weigh like half a pound. They’re not even made of real meat. It’s basically like throwing a half pound piece of rubber at someone. But when you’re talking about Florida, you have to expect the unexpected. Multiple hamburger assault crimes might be the definition of unexpected.

– Ryan

McDonald’s Solves The Age Old Question: “How do I take my Big Mac on a Picnic?”

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This is just pure inventive genius by Mickey Ds right here, because I’ve always said to myself “how the fuck am I suppose to eat my Big Mac and fries through a paper bag?” Alas! McDonald’s steps in and saves a dummy like me from 1237655852839253026looking like a fool in front of my friends. Really McDonald’s? This is what you have been cooking up in-between planning marketing around the yearly re-release of the McRib? You gotta do better than this! This isn’t even that clever. Here are the three ways I eat my McDonald’s: 1.) Inside the restaurant on a plastic tray. 2.) In my car out of the provided paper bag 3.) take my food home and dump it all over my kitchen table. Those are the three ways McDonald’s food gets consumed. Nobody has time to start making origami with the bag it comes in.

-Matt

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Twitter News Weekly: Brock Lesnar Likes McDonald’s All Day Breakfast #BrockLesnar #McDonalds #WWE

On this week’s show we talk about the Beast Brock Lesnar and McDonald’s exploring the idea of having a 24 hour breakfast menu. Check it out and subscribe to our YouTube page at http://www.youtube.com/TheAverageNobodies.

009 Brock Lesnar Likes McDonald’s Breakfast

On this week’s show we talk Wrestlemania 31, TV shows, McDonald’s breakfast being served all day, and the anatomy of a walrus.

McDonald’s Super Bowl 49 Commercial Is Introducing a ‘Pay With Lovin’ Campaign That Starts February 2nd

A few thoughts:

  1. Risky move by that first cashier telling a complete stranger to call his mother and tell him he loves her. Uh, what if his mother’s dead? Or what if he hates his mother? If I was that stranger I’d flip out and start crying so all the workers would feel terrible and awkward.
  2. How are you going to end a ‘Pay With Lovin’ campaign on Valentines Day? V-Day is  the one day out of the year that signifies love. I’m pretty sure Valentine means love in Latin or some language. Poor timing on McDonald’s part.
  3. What McDonald’s was this filmed at? I was just at the McDonald’s in NYC near the mega bus stop and the workers were not as friendly. And when I say not as friendly, they couldn’t have been more disinterested if they tried. I want to go to the McDonald’s in this commercial where everyone is happy and hugging each other.

All in all, a pretty cool move by McDonald’s. Hopefully it works out, because those $4.5 million thirty second Super Bowl commercials are a tad expensive.

– Ryan

Parenting 101: Shoot Heroin at McDonalds and Let your Kids Run Free

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CINCINNATI (AP) — An Indiana couple has been arrested in Ohio on child endangering charges because police say they overdosed on heroin in a McDonald’s play area.
Hamilton County court records show that the fire department in Green Township, just west of Cincinnati, responded to a call Sunday of two adults needing attention in the restaurant’s children’s play area. Authorities say one was unconscious and not breathing; the other was conscious but unresponsive.
They recovered from what police say were “life-threatening overdoses” of heroin. Authorities say the couple acknowledged taking the drugs while caring for two children, a 5-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy.
Court documents show each pleaded not guilty. Robert Paul Palmer, 37, was being held Thursday on $10,000 bond. Tamica Lynn Jeffers, 33, was being held on $6,000 bond. – Huff Post

And the parents of the year award goes to………not these fucking people. Is Indiana really this horrifyingly boring that the only way to get kicks is to blast some dope and watch your kids play in a ball pit? (This is assuming this McDonalds had a play pit) I wonder if they ordered their Big Macs with a side of “rock bottom”.

-Matt

PS- Look out, Florida, Indiana is trying to take your insanity crown.

Want to Sleep Tonight? Don’t Watch This “Banned” McDonalds Commercial

Ok, so this clearly wasn’t even close to endorsed by McDonalds on any level. Doesn’t change the fact that it is horrifying. I still don’t understand the irrational fear of clowns a lot of people have, but with this video I can kind of see where they are coming from. KIND OF

-Matt

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