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I Would Rather Sleep on A Fiery Bed of Hot Coals Than Stay At The “Clown Motel”

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I am very far from having¬†coulropohbia (fear of clowns [I looked it up on wikipedia]). In fact, I actually enjoy clowns, but there is just something about a “Clown Motel” in the middle of the desert that screams “stay here and be murdered”. ¬†Is it the colors? Maybe. Is it the fact that the hotel, from lobby to bathrooms, is decorated in clown paraphernalia? Getting warmer. Mabe it is because it is built directly next to a creepy old cemetery. B-I-N-G-Fuckin’-O!

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Oh, wait! There’s more! Here is a first hand account of two people reporting that someone dressed as a clown was….well… why don’t you read the story for yourself:

At one point early in the evening we were hearing strange sounds and what appeared to be someone screaming followed by lot popping and crunching noises. While in the bathroom my buddy decided to have a peak outside of the bathroom window. My buddy lets out a yell and busts out into the room and I’m like “what?!” He doesn’t say anything but goes right to his back and gets his Smith and Wesson 357 out. I’m thinking “what the $%#” and I dig into my bag to get my Sig 232 out. He says we need to get the %@#& out of there right now. I saw he was serious and that made me serious about it, we grabbed our $#!^ for the most part (left a few clothes behind) and looked out the peep sight to make sure it was clear to our car. I threw my gun into my pocket, he put his in his waistband and we hauled ass to the car and got the hell out of there. On the ride away, I asked what he saw in the bathroom. He told me when he looked out the window there was this creepy-ass clown facing away from the window, pants at his ankles, making a weird motion. He told me the clown slowly turned 90 degrees to look at him, my friend said he looked down to see this clown $#@%ing a full-sized dinner ham, when he looked up from the ham $^@!ing the clown was smiling and waving at him.

OH GOOD! I will never look at christmas dinner the same. Want to know about the most fucked up thing of all about this nightmare shack? You have to call ahead to reserve a room because they have a habit of “Filling up”. You have got to be joking.

 

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-Matt

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