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Donald Trump Believes He Coined The Phrase ‘Prime The Pump’

My favorite part about this story is that I truly believe Trump thinks he created this phrase. He definitely heard it on TV or possibly overheard a conversation between smart people and decided that he’ll tell everyone it was an original phrase. The only problem with that is almost everyone who has or will interview/write about Trump is going to be smarter than him, so he’s immediately corrected. Don’t want to take my word for it?

That is cold as ice. Not even mentioning Trump by name yet everyone knows what they’re referencing. And while I’ll be the first to admit I’ve never heard of the phrase, I’m also not the POTUS trying to sneak it into conversation about tax plans. Merriam-Webster 1 Trump 0.

-Ryan

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#SNL Is Riding A Rating’s Hot Streak As They Prepare For Their Most Important Episode Of The Season

SNLComedy seems to thrive in adversity—according to the latest ratings for Saturday Night Live, the long-running satirical sketch show is seeing its highest numbers in over 20 years. Variety reports that Donald Trump’s victory at the polls, as well as his relentless “criticism” of the show, have boosted viewership among among adults 18-49. SNL’s February 4 episode was the second highest rated of the week, trailing behind The Big Bang Theory.

Here are some more numbers that attest to this yuge development: SNL’s viewership has grown by 19% among adults 18-49, and 22% in total viewers (that’s now 10.6 million), when compared to the same period last season. NBC says these ratings are the highest they’ve been since the 1994-1995 season.

When Donald Trump vowed to ‘Make America Great Again’ on the campaign trail, I can’t imagine he thought that his actions and words would catapult a late night comedy institution to create their most popular work in decades. Believe it or not, here we are, and SNL has been thriving under Trump, turning in a superb season including one of their best episodes last week. The biggest reason for that is embedded above, as Melissa McCarthy made a surprise guest appearance as Sean Spicer and left us all floored in the process. The ratings for the season as a whole are at a 22 year high (the highest since the 94-95 season with a cast featuring Chris Farley, David Spade, Adam Sandler & Mike Myers, among others) and they’re about to take part in their most important episode yet. The main reason for that is because the host for Saturday’s show (Alec Baldwin, hosting for the 17th time) is the man pegged with playing Donald Trump. In most election years the shows from September-December/January would feature the candidates and the President elect, but this year has been different. Every cold open has featured Baldwin’s Trump in some way, and it’s working.

There are people who think SNL should stray away from Trump and get back to other sketch topics, but that is impossible to do when the President himself is tweeting about your show every Sunday morning. Like everything else Trump tweets about, it’s 100% negative, and it’s clear that the material SNL is putting on air is getting under his paper thin skin. Nobody loves themselves more than Donald Trump, so it must kill him to watch himself get parodied every week. SNL knows that, and knows that he’s watching, which must make the ratings news that much sweeter for the writers and cast. Will Baldwin’s Trump be a one and done in the cold open like episodes past, or will SNL rely on him for multiple sketches throughout the show? Nobody knows the answer except for Lorne Michaels, who has the final say on what sketches make the air, but from a logistical standpoint, my guess is that Trump will only be featured in the cold open. It’d be tough to continually get Baldwin in and out of Trump’s makeup and wardrobe throughout the show, but I wouldn’t sleep on some kind of pre-taped digital short featuring Trump.

The other big question floating around social media is ‘who will play Steve Bannon’? SNL chose to portray him as the Grim Reaper on last week’s show, but that doesn’t strike me as a long term solution. Will it be a current cast member or will they stray outside the box like they did with McCarthy? The AV Club has a fascinating article detailing why it shouldn’t be Rosie O’Donnell, and I 100% agree. While it would be a deep personal dig at Trump, I don’t think it would have the impact some people are hoping for. The reason McCarthy’s Spicer worked so good and is because it was completely unexpected and McCarthy is a comedic gold mine. O’Donnell clearly isn’t as talented as McCarthy, and at this point the whole world would be expecting it. That same article throws out possible picks of Robert De Niro, John Goodman and Jonah Hill. De Niro has been publicly against Trump in the past, but I don’t know if at this stage he’d be willing to do something like this. Goodman has already played Rex Tillerson this season, so casting him as Bannon would be overkill. Of the three, Hill would be the best choice, especially if he can get himself to that deranged, maniacal level we’ve seen during past hosting stints. If I had to pick a current cast member and a random celebrity, I’d go with Bobby Moynihan (channeling his evil political Kim Jong-un impression, only less wacky) and I’d go full throttle crazy and put Danny DeVito on there. I dare you tell me you wouldn’t watch Danny DeVito in a hair piece playing Steve Bannon.

-Ryan

Donald Trump Will Be The 45th President of the United States

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I was trying to think of a funny title for this post, but nothing about last night, and the 2016 Presidential election in general, was funny. It was an exhausting, mostly hate filled campaign from both sides, and no matter the outcome, it seemed like the majority of American’s wouldn’t have been happy. While what Trump can do as President remains to be seen, the way he got there is very depressing. The fact that so many people voted for a guy who used such hate filled rhetoric, mocked disabled people, boasted about sexual assault, declared an entire nationality of people rapists and called his foreign policy plan a secret is dumbfounding to me. Now the other side will argue that the candidate I voted for deleted her emails, and while I struggle to find the common ground between all those things I listed and deleted emails, this is now the new America. A vote for Trump is a vote for bullying, racism, sexism, prejudice, lying and self absorption. That’s who Donald Trump is, and while he’ll be forced to work with people to get things done as President, the way he arrived to the White House, and the nastiness of people who supported him along the way, will never be forgotten. You can blame Trump, because he’s the figurehead for this entire ‘movement’, but he’s a 70 year old who’s been this way his entire life. His supporters, some of whom are my friends and family, are the one’s I’m the most disappointed in. Yes there are people, well informed and logical people, who voted for him. But there are also people who deep down felt the same way Trump felt and were just waiting for someone else to say it. That’s scary to me, because they didn’t vote for a guy with a solid plan to fix America domestically and internationally. They voted for a guy who mumbled his way through speeches, spewed hate upon anyone who dared go against him, and brought out the gutter worst in people. I’m ashamed to be apart of a country that thinks all the things that Donald Trump said and did are not only okay, but the right path for the future of this country. You’ll see a lot of tweets and think pieces about how we need to unite as a country after this election, and while that’s true, we should not forget how this election made us feel. We elected a shitty human being as President of the United States, and I have no faith that it’s going to get any better from here.

-Ryan

Ted Cruz Gracefully Bowed Out Of The Presidential Race & Then Elbowed His Wife IN THE FACE

It’s too bad Ted Cruz doesn’t have an ounce of likability. If he did, I think this election season would’ve been a lot different. Between all the weird interactions with his own family, Zodiac killer jokes and pretty much everyone in the world he’s ever worked with saying they hate him, I feel like this could’ve been a good underdog story. But people like underdogs, so I guess that’ll never happen with Cruz. Also, when I put ‘gracefully bowed out’ in the headline of this post, I meant ‘Donald Trump won every primary and Cruz was mathematically eliminated’. But hey, some guys win elections, some guys lose elections and some guys get slaughtered by Donald Trump and then elbow their wife in the face during this concession press conference. All of this would be a lot funnier if this guy didn’t just get a free ticket to the general election:

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-Ryan

Take 20 Minutes Out Of Your Day & Watch John Oliver Talk About Donald Trump

John Oliver might be the best kept secret in late night television. He’s on HBO and his show only airs once a week, so he’s not talked about in the same breath as Fallon, Meyers, Kimmel, Conan or Corden. But any time a big issue pops up, he’s usually one of the smartest and most level headed voices we have on television. Oliver decided at the beginning of Trump’s campaign that he would not comment on the subject, because he didn’t want to give more TV time to what has become more of a spectacle than a campaign. But now that Trump is running away with the Republican nomination, Oliver felt he had to comment, and comment he did. Now I don’t care if you love Trump or you hate Trump, the following is an almost 22 minute video of straight up facts delivered by one of the best talk show hosts on the planet. Maybe it will sway your vote and maybe it won’t, but it should absolutely make you think.

-Ryan

Donald Trump Will Host The November 7th Episode of #SNL

SNL is live for it’s third straight episode this Saturday with host and SNL alum Tracy Morgan, but the big news of the day is that Donald Trump will host the next episode after that, airing on November 7th. Having a person who is currently running for President is big enough to begin with, but add in the fact that it’s DONALD TRUMP and you have some major news. The SNL writing team must be licking their chops right now because they have to have so much ammo ready for him. Trump has a big ego, but he also strikes me as someone who would be able to make fun of himself, especially if it means it would help his campaign. This episode is going to be bonkers.

-Ryan

Presidential Candidate Marco Rubio Played “Catch” With The World’s Least Athletic Kid

When I first read the title of this video, I pictured Rubio pegging some poor kid Peyton Manning/SNL style. But after watching it, you can’t really blame Rubio here. It’s not the greatest throw, but man this kid is terrible. Not only does he keep his hands spread apart like he’s trying to catch a pumpkin, but he lets the ball hit him in the head and then he falls down. I don’t want to sound mean, but maybe that kids parents should take him for a check up to make sure his motor skills are progressing at the regular rate. It’s one thing to miss a pass. It’s another to let it hit you in the head and fall down. Do less, random child.

-Ryan

Donald Trump Is Turning Into A Real Life Dr. Evil

Donald Trump is doing wonderful things, if wonderful things meant calling a large portion of the population criminals and rapists.

During his presidential kickoff speech, Trump said Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists and some, I assume, are good people.” He called for building a wall along the southern border of the United States. Trump later said that his remarks were directed at U.S. policymakers, not the Mexican government or its people.

In response to this, Univision and NBC announced that they will not be showing the Miss America or Miss Universe pageants, and NBC Universal severed it’s business relationship with the Donald.

“At NBC, respect and dignity for all people are cornerstones of our values,” said a statement from the network’s parent company, NBCUniversal.

“Due to the recent derogatory statements by Donald Trump regarding immigrants, NBCUniversal is ending its business relationship with Mr. Trump.”

NBC said it would no longer air the annual Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, which had been a joint venture between the company and Trump. Miss USA has aired on NBC since 2003 and this year’s edition was set for July 12; NBC said it hasn’t been determined what will air in its place.

Trump’s response? Suing Univision for $500 million.

Donald Trump has filed a $500 million lawsuit against Univision Communications after the company scrapped its planned telecast of the July 12 Miss USA beauty pageant as a result of Trump’s disparaging comments about Mexican immigrants.

The Miss Universe Organization said the suit was filed Tuesday in New York State Supreme Court. The complaint also cites Univision Networks programming president Alberto Ciurana as a defendant. Univision called the lawsuit “factually false and legally ridiculous.”

The latest news coming out of this controversy is that Macy’s has pulled Trump’s menswear line from it’s stores. So to sum it up, no one likes Donald Trump.

After having his pageant dropped by Univision and subsequently being fired by NBC, things are continuing to go not-so-great for Donald Trump, who has now had his line of menswear pulled from Macy’s stores. The department store chain made the announcement this morning after a MoveOn Petition claiming that Trump “does not reflect ‘the magic of Macy’s’” collected more than 700,000 signatures.

Well on the bright side, at least Donald Trump isn’t a serious candidate for PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Wait, he is? Oh, excellent.

– Ryan

Via Variety, UPROXX & CBC

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