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Donald Trump Will Be The 45th President of the United States

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I was trying to think of a funny title for this post, but nothing about last night, and the 2016 Presidential election in general, was funny. It was an exhausting, mostly hate filled campaign from both sides, and no matter the outcome, it seemed like the majority of American’s wouldn’t have been happy. While what Trump can do as President remains to be seen, the way he got there is very depressing. The fact that so many people voted for a guy who used such hate filled rhetoric, mocked disabled people, boasted about sexual assault, declared an entire nationality of people rapists and called his foreign policy plan a secret is dumbfounding to me. Now the other side will argue that the candidate I voted for deleted her emails, and while I struggle to find the common ground between all those things I listed and deleted emails, this is now the new America. A vote for Trump is a vote for bullying, racism, sexism, prejudice, lying and self absorption. That’s who Donald Trump is, and while he’ll be forced to work with people to get things done as President, the way he arrived to the White House, and the nastiness of people who supported him along the way, will never be forgotten. You can blame Trump, because he’s the figurehead for this entire ‘movement’, but he’s a 70 year old who’s been this way his entire life. His supporters, some of whom are my friends and family, are the one’s I’m the most disappointed in. Yes there are people, well informed and logical people, who voted for him. But there are also people who deep down felt the same way Trump felt and were just waiting for someone else to say it. That’s scary to me, because they didn’t vote for a guy with a solid plan to fix America domestically and internationally. They voted for a guy who mumbled his way through speeches, spewed hate upon anyone who dared go against him, and brought out the gutter worst in people. I’m ashamed to be apart of a country that thinks all the things that Donald Trump said and did are not only okay, but the right path for the future of this country. You’ll see a lot of tweets and think pieces about how we need to unite as a country after this election, and while that’s true, we should not forget how this election made us feel. We elected a shitty human being as President of the United States, and I have no faith that it’s going to get any better from here.

-Ryan

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Ryan Reynolds’ Birthday Tweet To His Wife Is Why He’s The Funniest Celebrity On Social Media

I’m sure you know who Ryan Reynolds is. He’s the devilishly handsome actor who just broke a bunch of box office records as Deadpool. He’s also married to the devilishly beautiful Blake Lively, which almost isn’t fair to the rest of the world. If that’s not enough, he’s also the funniest celebrity on social media. The latest example of this is his happy birthday tweet to his wife yesterday:

That is some funny stuff. Is it legal for someone to be that handsome and also that funny? I’ll let it slide as long as he keeps the funny tweets going, which he’s already doing:

-Ryan (not Reynolds)

WWE Hall of Famer Bret Hart Took To Social Media To Announce He Has Been Diagnosed With Prostate Cancer

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It is with great remorse that I feel compelled to speak truthfully to my friends, family and my millions of fans around the world. In the past few years, I've spent more than enough time paying the price for all those years trying to be the best there ever was as a professional wrestler. I executed excellently and my proudest claim was that I never seriously hurt or injured another wrestler in my 23 year career. I've paid a price for all that "fake" wrestling … Mark Helprin wrote: "We are all perfect clocks that Divinity has set to ticking when, even before birth, the heart explodes into a lifelong dance." I've had a great lifelong dance and I'm a survivor of many hard battles. I now face my toughest battle. With hesitation and fear, I openly declare myself in my fight against prostate cancer. In the next few days, I will undergo surgery with the hope of defeating this nemesis once and for all. My fans have always looked upon me as a hero and I've always done my best to live up to that in and out of the ring. I beat the odds when I suffered my stroke in 2002, but it is now yet again, that I … stand unafraid and face the tough road ahead of me, I will march toward this destiny with his spirit chanting in my ear. I make a solemn vow to all of those that once believed in me, the dead and the living, that I will wage my fearsome fight against cancer with one shield and one sword carrying my determination and my fury for life, emboldened by all the love that's kept me going this long already. Love is my weapon and I've got much of it around me all the time, for which I'm truly blessed and eternally grateful. My children, grandchildren, and my loving wife Steph have been and will constantly be at my side. I refuse to lose, I will never give in or give up, and I will win this battle or die trying. Most important of all, I hope can take the fight to prostate cancer. To be a leader in awareness and to set the example for men everywhere who find themselves in my very same shoes, that prostate cancer can be beaten. B x

A post shared by Bret (@brethitmanhart) on

The WWE active roster has been hit incredibly hard with the injury bug over the past 6 months, but now a different type of sad wrestling news came to light this morning. Bret Hart took to social media to announce that he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and he promises to defeat the disease just like he’s defeated foes both inside and outside the ring his entire career. Hart has always had a quite classiness about him, whether he was fighting for the WWE or giving interviews after his career was over, so it’s no surprise that he announced the sad news the way he did. As he mentions in the post, he suffered a stroke in 2002 which he fought to overcome, and he even got one more WrestleMania moment in what I can honestly say is the worst match I’ve ever seen against Mr. McMahon. Best of luck to Bret in his fight against cancer, and we hope to get some positive news from the ‘excellence of execution’ after his surgery.

-Ryan

Insane Instagram Comments: Seth Rollins

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Sunset on the Mississippi. #nofilter

A post shared by Seth Rollins (@wwerollins) on

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For those of you that don’t know, Seth Rollins is a professional fake wrestler, and also happens to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He’s a cross fit machine that has more abs muscles than I have muscles in general. He also seems like a pretty cool guy outside the ring, and posts pictures of sunsets on the Mississippi River. Why a picture of a sunset triggered someone to type “YOU FART IN ELEVATORS” is something I will never know, nor do I want to figure out why. The comments section of a famous person’s Instagram is a dangerous place. With Rollins social media history (nice dick), I’m actually surprised at how tame the comments are. Maybe the commenters are getting soft? Maybe they’ve lost their edge? Well I won’t have it. I have a blogging reputation to uphold and I need more insanity. Give me insane Instagram comments or give me death.

– Ryan

Lindsay Lohan Should Probably Permanently Retire From Social Media

DonkLindsay Lohan has suffered another social media snafu.

The “Mean Girls” star posted an Instagram image of an Arabic phrase on Tuesday, which she translated as “You’re beautiful.”

Unfortunately for Lohan, the Arabic phrase she posted actually translated to “You’re a donkey.”

She pulled the Instagram image after she realized her error, but not before it was spotted on social media, which she got razzed about by other users.

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That’s what Lindsay Lohan gets for trying to be cute. You want to tell people they’re beautiful? Just write it down, or film a video of yourself telling people they’re beautiful. Once you bring Arabic into it, which I’m assuming is a very hard language to master, all bets are off. You have no idea what you’re saying when you start fucking around with Arabic. You could be calling yourself an asshole or in this case, telling all your fans that they’re donkey’s. Between this and all the horribly photo shopped pictures, I think it’s time for Lindsay Lohan to step away from social media. She’s clearly terrible at it. You know how some people are terrible at real life but online they’re superstars? They couldn’t talk to a person face to face if their life depended on it but their Pinterest page is the tits. Well Lindsay Lohan is the opposite of that, except she’s not really great at real life things either. I really didn’t think someone could be this bad at social media, but she has proved me wrong. Cut your losses, Lindsay. Social media isn’t for you.

– Ryan

Why Facebook Killed The High School Reunion

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Yesterday I happened to turn on HBO and what was on? American Reunion.  I haven’t seen the latest installment in the “American” movie saga so I sat, and watched it.  Besides “when will they stop making these movies”, one question jumped out at me: has the traditional high school reunion grown obsolete? Think about it, in this day & age you experience a high school reunion every time you log into Facebook or any other social media site.  You know exactly what all of your friends from high school do for work, what they look like, how many kids they have, how many divorces they have had, and what they had for breakfast.  Is a scheduled party really necessary? Here is how I see my HS reunion going: I stand with the guys I spend 99.9% of my week with, we crack jokes at each others expenses, and we fake wrestle.  We do this in my basement every week, it’s nothing new.  But, maybe someone from our class we haven’t “seen”  in a while comes up to us. Let me explain how this goes:

Me: oh hey, good to see you.
Person X: You too, we should definitely get together soon, it’s been too long.
Me: Oh yea that would be great, we definitely should!

Neither party has any interest in actually seeing the other person until the next reunion or until they run into each other in the grocery store and awkwardly walk by each other with their heads hung low. Listen, I’m not trying to be cynical here, just realistic.  All the people from high school that I want to see I can see, and I do.  Everyone has there own set of friends for a reason, you get along with those people (or in my case, we can coexist without murdering each other. It’s a thin line, but we ride it pretty well…most of the time). Why force friendships? To be friendly? Ok, being friendly is a good excuse. You don’t want to be a grumpy asshole, but don’t waste anyones time by going further than “hi and bye”.

Yea reunions are nice in theory, and I will be attending mine eventually, but they have definitely lost their luster.

-MattyV

PS – O’doyle Rules!

The Government Knows What You Had For Dinner? And You’re Mad?

You don’t Fucking say?

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To start off, this post isn’t directed at everyone. You know who you are.

The hot button issue over that last month has been the fact that the government snoops into your hard drive.  Now everyone has gotten there collective panties in a bunch over that fact that the government is looking at pictures of your dog.  Me personally? I couldn’t care less.  Oh what…is Obama looking at my search history full of porn and Hubble telescope pictures? Go for it dude, you look like you would enjoy both.  If you are on the internet you are giving up your “privacy” to anybody on the other end; including, SHOCKINGLY, the government.  I don’t care if you have all your privacy settings on and you keep your password locked in a box at the bottom of Lake Tahoe, someone is looking at your check-ins to Pink Berry. (You love frozen yogurt, admit it already.  No one is buying your “too cool” attitude.) Listen, you might think you’re hot shit, but if you believe for one minute the oval office is passing around your twitter feeds for pics of you in your bikini, you are a bigger idiot than I thought.  Clearly all this BS that is leaking is for protection, and for anyone who thinks different I can show you a boat to the North Pole.  There is no internet there so no one will spy on you…except for polar bears, those guys will tear your ass UP!  Me? I am going to continue to post: pictures of food, song lyrics, motivational quotes, dumb pictures of my dumb friends, and occasionally good blog posts. I have nothing to hide!  Obama, I know your reading right now so I am putting out a challenge to you, 1v1 only submissions and pinfalls.

Your move Pres.

-MattyV

P.S.  Don’t lie, you love that the government knows what you’re doing, you pervs!

P.S.S. If I die, someone please take a bat to my iMac.  My browser history would be too confusing to explain.

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