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Monsterblog Wednesday: Horse Names

If we ever make it big, our first purchase is a horse. A lot of rich people have fancy cars, or mansions with moats, or luxurious yachts, but only the truly elite own horses. With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes naming your horse. We have to imagine there is nothing worse than watching your stallion cross the finish line with the entire crowd laughing at you because you picked a shitty name. The real winners in horse racing are those brave men and women who dare to be bold when choosing their horses name.

Bubba Gump

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It was my childhood nickname (because apparently I reminded my parents of a black man with a speech impediment who ran like a white boy with leg braces) and I’ve embraced it ever since. Bubba Gump just so happens to roll off the tongue like a fine wine, and announcers better get used to saying it, because Bubba Gump does two things well: shrimpin’ and winning horse races.

-RyanFoges

Kevin

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Something that I have believed in since I was a child was that human names make the best animal names. Take my hypothetical horse, Kevin, for example. Pretty decent human name, but dynamite horse name! Let’s look at others named Kevin: Kevin Costner, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Spacey, Kevin Durant. Do I need to say more? Kevin will steal the Triple Crown and your heart, with ease.

-MattyV

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Clooney Quietly Spying on The Asshole Leader Of Sudan

“Jennifer Aniston, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Connery, Meg Ryan, Dennis Hopper, George Clooney — and of course, John Travolta with this recent gem — these are just a few A-List celebrities who have pocketed big dollars starring in foreign commercials. I’m trying to make movies in my life … that last longer than opening weekend,” Clooney told Newsweek in 2012, explaining why he does these ads. “That’s it, that’s my whole goal. I don’t have to make money; I do films for scale and then, you know, I go do coffee commercials overseas, and I make a lot of money so I get to live in a nice house. … And I don’t give a sh-t. And people will go, ‘Oh that’s a sellout.’ And you know what? F–k you.” While Stacy Keibler’s ex may have made light of being called a “sellout,” he’s putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to spending what he earns. Many stars pocket their ridiculously large paychecks, but George — who appears in commercials for Nespresso — said he’s spending the cash on a satellite aimed at Sudan. “Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a satellite over the border of North and South Sudan to keep an eye on Omar al-Bashir [the Sudanese dictator charged with war crimes at The Hague],” the Oscar winner said in Paris on Tuesday. “Then [Omar al-Bashir] puts out a statement saying that I’m spying on him and how would I like it if a camera was following me everywhere I went and I go ‘Well, welcome to my life Mr. War Criminal.’ I want the war criminal to have the same amount of attention that I get. I think that’s fair.” But don’t let the Clooney’s humor and charm take away from what he’s really doing. The Satellite Sentinel Project, Clooney’s spy program, aims to use advanced satellite imagery to monitor potential human rights abuses in Sudan. The SSP tracks movements of Omar al-Bashir’s army and attempts to warn civilians in advance of attacks. Clooney’s passion for Sudanese satellites is hardly random. In March 2012, he and his father Nick Clooney were arrested during a protest outside of the Sudanese Embassy in Washington DC. The protesters accused Omar al-Bashir of provoking a humanitarian crisis and blocking food and aid from entering the Nuba Mountains in the county’s border region with South Sudan. Clooney told The Associated Press that through his actions he hoped to draw attention to the crisis in Sudan.” – Yahoo

You don’t violate a nation’s human rights. Not on Clooney’s watch. He’ll do a million coffee commercials and build a spy satellite that monitor’s your abusive ass 24/7. Oh you don’t like that Mr. Dictator? Clooney says fuck you. First he spies on you. Then you complain about him. And then he wins. He’s a modern day Ghandi, except much handsomer. All jokes aside the guy really is amazing. He could easily pocket his fortune and live on some island with models feeding him grapes. Instead he’s building spy satellites to call out human rights violator’s. You go George Clooney.

– Ryan

P.S. Here’s a photo of Clooney being arrested outside the Sudanese embassy in 2012. Intensity. Integrity. Intelligence.

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Singularity: Friend or Foe?

I read this article about scientists theorizing humans will achieve singularity by the year 2045. Singularity occurs when technology surpasses the capabilities of the human brain,creating a superintelligence. Imagine being able to download the human brain to a computer? Digital
Immortality, would the download be able to learn? What’s the need for a body at that point? Incredible and a bit disconcerting at the same time.

Imagine machines being able to take over bodily functions? BCI’s are already being implemented. The first brain computer interface is an implant that electronically stimulate the cochlear nerve allowing sound to be heard for the first time by people born without hearing.

By the year 2045, I’ll be 57, I totally expect aging to be a thing of the past. Little microchips implanted to resume the duties of failing areas of the nervous system.

The other side of superintelligence is of course SkyNet….

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-Sean Lite-

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