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Californian James Wertz Punched & Choked His Girlfriend’s Pet Rabbit Over a Women’s Right Argument. Just Kidding He’s From Florida

Of CourseA Florida man is behind bars after allegedly punching and choking his girlfriend’s pet rabbit.

James Wertz, 28, was arrested June 27 in connection to an incident that started over an argument about women’s rights with his girlfriend, Dana Jongeward at their Boynton Beach home.

At one point, tempers flared and Wertz yelled that it was a man’s world, according to the police report.

While Jongeward hid in her bedroom to get away from Wertz, she claims one of her two pet rabbits screamed.

Jongeward came out and allegedly saw Wertz punching and choking one of her rabbits, a 9-month-old named “Bun Bun.” She told police she could see blood coming from the rabbit’s eyes.

“It was shocking, the most horrible thing I could walk out of bedroom to see,” she told the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

Wertz allegedly became enraged and threw her across the living room when she tried calling 911, according to a police report.

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Nothing like beating up a rabbit to get your July 4th weekend started. I write these posts so many times that I feel like I’m becoming immune to them. Oh some guy beat up his girlfriend’s rabbit after they argued over women’s rights? That makes sense. The only thing I’m mad about is that we’ll never get to hear James Wertz’s thoughts on women’s rights. You gotta figure a guy who beats up/chokes a rabbit is probably a very well spoken, sincere guy. He probably had a very rational opinion on women’s rights that naturally spawned into the attempted mutilation of a rabbit. Just another day in the Sunshine State.

– Ryan

NBC Will Be Broadcasting The Olympics Through 2032, Which Means One Thing: More Bob Costas Pink Eye

Bobby Boy“NBC has secured the U.S. broadcast rights to the Olympics through 2032 in a record six-games deal worth $7.75 billion.

NBC already holds the rights through the 2020 Olympics in a four-games deal signed in 2011 for $4.38 billion.

 The latest deal was announced Wednesday after secret negotiations between the IOC and NBC. There was no auction or open bidding this time, with only NBC making an offer.

The negotiations were led by International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach.

Bach says “this agreement is excellent news for the entire Olympic Movement as it helps to ensure its financial security in the long term.”

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I dislike Bob Costas. Immensely. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with  Bob Costas, Osama Bin Laden and Hitler I’d shoot Bob Costa twice. But if I have to put up with him for six more Olympic games I can only hope he continues to get pink eye. How great would that be? Every Olympics Bob Costas welcomes us to the games then immediately gets pink eye. He struggles through the first couple of days until it spreads to his other eye and he’s forced to stop broadcasting like this year. Pink eye is curable so it’s not like he’d be contracting this deadly disease. Everybody wins, except Bob Costas. It’d be the best running joke in Olympics history and I, for one, would enjoy it a lot. I don’t know how, but I need NBC to make this happen. If you’ve got $7 Billion I’m sure you can find a way to give your Olympic broadcaster pink eye.

– Ryan

Clooney Quietly Spying on The Asshole Leader Of Sudan

“Jennifer Aniston, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Connery, Meg Ryan, Dennis Hopper, George Clooney — and of course, John Travolta with this recent gem — these are just a few A-List celebrities who have pocketed big dollars starring in foreign commercials. I’m trying to make movies in my life … that last longer than opening weekend,” Clooney told Newsweek in 2012, explaining why he does these ads. “That’s it, that’s my whole goal. I don’t have to make money; I do films for scale and then, you know, I go do coffee commercials overseas, and I make a lot of money so I get to live in a nice house. … And I don’t give a sh-t. And people will go, ‘Oh that’s a sellout.’ And you know what? F–k you.” While Stacy Keibler’s ex may have made light of being called a “sellout,” he’s putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to spending what he earns. Many stars pocket their ridiculously large paychecks, but George — who appears in commercials for Nespresso — said he’s spending the cash on a satellite aimed at Sudan. “Most of the money I make on the [Nespresso] commercials I spend keeping a satellite over the border of North and South Sudan to keep an eye on Omar al-Bashir [the Sudanese dictator charged with war crimes at The Hague],” the Oscar winner said in Paris on Tuesday. “Then [Omar al-Bashir] puts out a statement saying that I’m spying on him and how would I like it if a camera was following me everywhere I went and I go ‘Well, welcome to my life Mr. War Criminal.’ I want the war criminal to have the same amount of attention that I get. I think that’s fair.” But don’t let the Clooney’s humor and charm take away from what he’s really doing. The Satellite Sentinel Project, Clooney’s spy program, aims to use advanced satellite imagery to monitor potential human rights abuses in Sudan. The SSP tracks movements of Omar al-Bashir’s army and attempts to warn civilians in advance of attacks. Clooney’s passion for Sudanese satellites is hardly random. In March 2012, he and his father Nick Clooney were arrested during a protest outside of the Sudanese Embassy in Washington DC. The protesters accused Omar al-Bashir of provoking a humanitarian crisis and blocking food and aid from entering the Nuba Mountains in the county’s border region with South Sudan. Clooney told The Associated Press that through his actions he hoped to draw attention to the crisis in Sudan.” – Yahoo

You don’t violate a nation’s human rights. Not on Clooney’s watch. He’ll do a million coffee commercials and build a spy satellite that monitor’s your abusive ass 24/7. Oh you don’t like that Mr. Dictator? Clooney says fuck you. First he spies on you. Then you complain about him. And then he wins. He’s a modern day Ghandi, except much handsomer. All jokes aside the guy really is amazing. He could easily pocket his fortune and live on some island with models feeding him grapes. Instead he’s building spy satellites to call out human rights violator’s. You go George Clooney.

– Ryan

P.S. Here’s a photo of Clooney being arrested outside the Sudanese embassy in 2012. Intensity. Integrity. Intelligence.

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