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My Favorite Sketch From Jonah Hill’s #SNL: Voters For Trump Ad

Jonah Hill was back at SNL this weekend for his fourth hosting stint, and it was kind of disappointing. The highlight of the show for me was the ‘Voters for Trump Ad’, which was the first sketch after his monologue. The rest of the show wasn’t bad, but when you have someone with the comic chops of Jonah Hill, you expect a lot more than what we got. Anyway, this sketch was really good, and although it would’ve been better if SNL hadn’t let Trump host earlier this season, it was still a solid approach. Will the media’s constant hammering at Trump and his supporters matter come election time? It’s tough to tell, but I’ll take sketches like this any day of the week.

-Ryan

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Best of Luck in Your Future Endeavors: WWE Makes Some Big Time Roster Cuts

It’s a sad day for some WWE superstars, but roster cuts happen every year in the WWE and 2014 is no different. Some cuts were overdue, some were surprises; some were due to lack of a good “push” and some just didn’t work out. Hopefully losing these superstars gives new opportunities to the guys who are still there. No more 3MB, no more six man tags playa, and no more shooting star presses. The full list of WWE superstars released is below. May they rest in peace.

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– Ryan

Alan Silvestri’s Acoustic Version of the Back to the Future Theme Song is Awesome

This is what I call maximizing your talent. If you have the ability to play the acoustic guitar like Alan and you’re not playing covers of classic movie theme songs then you’re wasting your time. Back to the Future is the best trilogy of all time and it’s not even a debate.

– Ryan

H/T BuzzFeed

I Defy Anyone To Beat My Celebrity Birthday Triple Threat

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A few buddies and I were at the bar last night and in between rounds of trivia we decided to look up which celebrities shared the same birthdays as us. Needless to say my triple threat blew people away. I had strangers coming up to me wanting my autograph. The waitress picked up my tab. This kind of makes me a famous person right? When you share such an important day with three icons of the silver and movie screens, a little bit of that magic rubs off on you. Johnny Depp is a stud. A perfect mix of a franchise guy and a risk taker, and one goddamn beautiful man. Natalie Portman is a fox, and one pretty talented actress. Even if I stop here, I feel pretty confident that I have most people beat in the fictional celebrity birthday competition. But my foot is on the gas and I’m cruising down the freeway, so it’s only right that the the world’s greatest human being was also born on June 9th: Michael J. Marty McFly Fox. Enormous child star and centerpiece of the greatest franchise in movie history. You think Parkinson’s is going to slow him down? He spits in Parkinson’s face and makes it say his name. Now he’s back to his roots with the Michael J. Fox Show, premiering in September. I always knew June 9th was a great day, but this just reinforces the fact that I have the best birthday ever. Anyone care to debate? Lay your top three on me, but be forewarned, I got Dick Vitale and Tedy Bruschi in my back pocket.

– Ryan

Singularity: Friend or Foe?

I read this article about scientists theorizing humans will achieve singularity by the year 2045. Singularity occurs when technology surpasses the capabilities of the human brain,creating a superintelligence. Imagine being able to download the human brain to a computer? Digital
Immortality, would the download be able to learn? What’s the need for a body at that point? Incredible and a bit disconcerting at the same time.

Imagine machines being able to take over bodily functions? BCI’s are already being implemented. The first brain computer interface is an implant that electronically stimulate the cochlear nerve allowing sound to be heard for the first time by people born without hearing.

By the year 2045, I’ll be 57, I totally expect aging to be a thing of the past. Little microchips implanted to resume the duties of failing areas of the nervous system.

The other side of superintelligence is of course SkyNet….

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-Sean Lite-

As Far as the Future is Concerned, Color Me Ecstatic!

NASA is now leasing out its shuttle launch pad to commercial operators. I absolutely cannot wait until I make my millions, rent this bad boy for a night and have an absolute rager. Just dancing the night away on a piece of American history that has supported 90 space missions since 1967. And when NASA is wondering what exactly I’ll be launching off of this pad, my answer will be my brand new 2015 flying car that is currently promised to be on the market in less than two years. The future is here people and damn is it exciting.

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These cars/jets are said to be able to take off vertically, you know what that means? Fuck traffic and, more importantly, road blocks. “Oh traffic ahead? No worries”. I’ll just push this button and boom I’m 200 feet up flipping off the conventional motorists with their puny land-dwelling Ferraris and Porches heading to my birthday party/rager at Cape Canaveral!

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Leave your keys at the door people, because if driving drunk is a bad idea, I have to imagine flying drunk is about a million times worse.

-Sean Lite-

P.S. With one of these bad boys in my garage, I’ll be afraid of lobsters when they sprout wings.

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