The Internet Has Finally Gone Insane – People Are Losing Their Over Ryan Gosling’s And Eva Mendes’s Potential Baby
Stop – This baby’s sure to be a DNA darling.
Smoldering Eva Mendes and Hollywood hottie Ryan Gosling are the latest couple to jump on the baby bandwagon.
Gosling, 33, and Mendes, 40, who have been dating since 2011, somehow managed to keep her pregnancy a secret until the seventh month, reports said Thursday.
Now the Internet has gone crazy trying to picture the offspring of two of the most genetically blessed people on the planet. The little Mosling is sure to come out a winner either way: His Canadian-born daddy’s got striking blue eyes and clean-cut blond good looks. And his mom is a sexy Latina stunner from Florida with glowing skin, great hair and a heart-shaped face.
The couple has yet to officially confirm they’re expecting a love child, a story first reported by OK! magazine.
This is the point we’ll look back on and realize things changed. This is the point when the internet literally went insane. Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are reportedly having a baby together. They didn’t invent flying cars. They didn’t go on a Bonnie & Clyde type murder spree. They are having a baby. One of the most normal things a couple can do. And people are literally losing their shit over it.
I wish I could be happy for Eva Mendes having Ryan Gosling’s baby, but I’m really not. I’m really fucking not.
— Lauren Roberts (@tweetyloz) July 11, 2014
Ryan Gosling Eva Mendes Baby 😭😭😭😭😭 whyyyyy?!
— Lys (@_alyssaadele) July 11, 2014
It’s a sad day when Ryan Gosling has a baby with anyone else but me..
— Hannah Schario (@hannah_cheerio) July 11, 2014
These are two human beings have a baby. If you want a gauge on how fucking crazy people are, just search “Ryan Gosling baby” on Twitter. It’s frightening, disturbing, but mostly just really sad. I love the internet. But I hate it so much more. Also, in case you didn’t feel like sleeping tonight, here’s what their baby might look like. For the love Bill Paxton, please stop.
Source – Lauren Tannehill, wife of Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill, recently returned a rental car but forgot to remove an AR-15 rifle from the back seat. The weapon was found by the next rental car customer, a New York woman, who turned it in to authorities.
“This is certainly the kind of item you don’t want to forget anywhere, but forgetting isn’t a crime,” Broward Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Keyla Concepcion said, via the Miami Herald.
More details via the Herald:
According to a BSO report, Lauren Tannehill, 26, rented a Nissan Rogue from E-Z Rent-A-Car on Jan. 4. She had the vehicle for about two hours, then turned it in for another. That same day, Judith Fleissig, 58, of Rochester, N.Y., rented the same Rogue. She later found the gun, valued at $2,000, secured in its case in the back seat, according to the report.
“We got out of the car, we were kind of freaked out,” Fleissig told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. “I didn’t want to touch it.”
I don’t want to jump on the blonde stereotype bandwagon right away, but anytime you leave an automatic weapon in a rental car and you just so happen to be a blonde woman it’s tough not to bring it up. Now is Lauren Tannehill beautiful? Yes. Do I want to touch her hiney? Yes. Is her husband a horrible, awful quarterback? Triple yes. None of these three things can really excuse leaving that kind of gun in a rental car. I don’t know much about gun owners but Lauren doesn’t seem like the poster child for automatic weapons. I need more info on this story and I need it now. In the meantime, I’ll be perusing through pictures of Lauren Tannehill for clues. Somebody’s got to do it, and it might as well be me.
If I had one million guesses I would never figure out that this guy was a punter. If he grew out his beard he’d be a dead ringer for Tormund from Game of Thrones.
If you put a sweet ass coat on Jon Ryan he’s pretty much indistinguishable from Tormund. With a name like Jon Ryan, I figured he would be a CIA operative or some kind of high level spy. Nope, just a punter. Only the evil Pete Carrol would employ a punter with the name of a spy and the look of a game of thrones character. His witchcraft will run out eventually.
If we ever make it big, our first purchase is a horse. A lot of rich people have fancy cars, or mansions with moats, or luxurious yachts, but only the truly elite own horses. With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes naming your horse. We have to imagine there is nothing worse than watching your stallion cross the finish line with the entire crowd laughing at you because you picked a shitty name. The real winners in horse racing are those brave men and women who dare to be bold when choosing their horses name.
It was my childhood nickname (because apparently I reminded my parents of a black man with a speech impediment who ran like a white boy with leg braces) and I’ve embraced it ever since. Bubba Gump just so happens to roll off the tongue like a fine wine, and announcers better get used to saying it, because Bubba Gump does two things well: shrimpin’ and winning horse races.
Something that I have believed in since I was a child was that human names make the best animal names. Take my hypothetical horse, Kevin, for example. Pretty decent human name, but dynamite horse name! Let’s look at others named Kevin: Kevin Costner, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Spacey, Kevin Durant. Do I need to say more? Kevin will steal the Triple Crown and your heart, with ease.