Crazy Ass Gary Busey Announced He’ll Be On The Newest Season Of DWTS From Atop A Horse On Jimmy Kimmel Live
Gary Busey might be the only person in the world that could get me to watch Dancing With The Stars. It’s easy to call him insane, because he really is, but he’s that special type of insane that doesn’t he’s insane. He thinks yelling at your TV while it’s off or collecting lizards is a thing that everyone does, and while I’m glad everyone isn’t like Gary Busey, I’m he exists. I can’t imagine he’s much a dancer at this stage in his life, but you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be tuning in to see what happens. I really hope he somehow incorporates the horse into his act.
The “stars” for Dancing With The Stars season 20 were just announced, and they’re something. Suzanne Somers, Rumer Willis, Patti LaBelle, Michael Sam; I could literally go on and on, but I think you get the point. DWTS is fun enough, but The Average Nobodies aren’t the kind of people who see an idea and stop there; we see an idea and think ‘how can this idea be better’? In that spirit, we decided to tweak the DWTS concept and instead of a professional dancer paired up with a “celebrity”, we would insert ourselves into the dance routine and bring in some real star power. Ryan with George Clooney? Matt with Elon Musk? The choices are literally endless. Here are our ideal DWTS partners:
He may have lost a step, but Christopher Walken has been busting a move longer than I’ve been alive. Simply put, he’s a dancing machine, and if there’s two things you need to succeed on DWTS it’s the ability to do a bunch of different dances and fearlessness. Nobody is more fearless (or insane) than Christopher Walken. I’m a little skeptical of his ability to move around after watching the live Peter Pan special, but luckily for C-Walk, I have some dance moves of my own. Maybe we do the salsa, maybe we do the Charleston, maybe we sit in a chair and stare at the audience; when you’re with Christopher Walken, you can get away with anything. If I’m being honest, unless Alfonso Ribeiro is on the show, the title is up for grabs, so I’m very confident that we’ll be in the finals when that day comes around. Fogarty/Walken ’16!
WWF Superstar Chyna
Our dancing partnership is based solely on two things: power and agility. While I may not have either one of those traits former WWF vixen, Chyna, has them in spades. Here is how I see our routines going: I come out and bust a few of my signature moves, maybe a few pop and locks sprinkled over a rhythmic pounding of the dance floor by my size 13 shoe. **Enter Chyna** We meet center stage and begin to waltz (her leading of course). From there we treat the rest of the routine like a Cirque Du Soleil show with Chyna tossing me all over the place. We finish with the move from Dirty dancing, but this time I take over and lift her (I have experience).
Even if you don’t watch DWTS, this should come as no surprise, because the man can dance. Alfonso Ribeiro was put on this Earth to entertain people, and I’m glad he got another chance to do that on this season of Dancing With The Stars. He even did “The Carlton” one more time for good measure before being crowned El Champion:
Also, anyone who incorporates popcorn into their dance routine has my vote forever.
I knew the Carlton Dance was eventually going to happen, but it was still glorious. The good Lord put Alfonso Ribeiro on this earth to dance, and that’s what he’s going to keep doing. What I don’t think is talked about enough is how lucky his partner Witney is. You know she showed up for day one of rehearsals, saw him dance and knew she could mail this whole season in. Maybe all this new found fame will give her enough courage to spell her name like a normal human being. In the meantime, go on with your bad self, Alfonso.
I’m not sure if any other contestants are still on DWTS, but I am sure that Alfonso Ribeiro is dominating. Last night he added a little Austin Powers showmanship aspect to his routine, complete with a mini Alfonso with a draw on goatee. Precious stuff. He continues to be the best dancer on the show, and the fact that no other contestant is even talked about makes me think he’s the only one still dancing. If that’s the case, I’m fine with it, because he is a beautiful, goateed dancing machine.
I understand there are TV contracts and ratings to worry about, but it is necessary to keep this competition going? AB won this competition last week, and everything from here on out is just child’s play. He’s even paying homage to his on screen cousin Will Smith with his song choices now. The only question I have is do they practice? AB just seems like the kind of guy who hangs out all week then goes out there and wings and makes sweet love to the dance floor. If these performances don’t result in a career resurgence, then I no longer believe in seconds chances.
Have you ever wanted to see Ryan do the Carlton Bank dance? You’re going to wish you said no that question. Remember to subscribe to our YouTube page – http://www.youtube.com/theaveragenobodies.
– The Average Nobodies
If this shocked anyone then you obviously have never seen The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The guy has a goddamn dance move named after him. Obviously he’s going to go on DWTS and just rip the roof off of the place. I’m usually not a fan of these older celebrities going on reality shows trying to relive the fame they once had, but if there’s one guy who fits the mold for DWTS, it’s Alfonso Ribeiro. I could watch him dance all night long. Kind of sounds a little weird now that I see that sentence in writing, but I stand by it. Put $5 worth of Tom Jones on the jukebox and let him do this thing. Carlton FTW.