Crazy Ass Gary Busey Announced He’ll Be On The Newest Season Of DWTS From Atop A Horse On Jimmy Kimmel Live
Gary Busey might be the only person in the world that could get me to watch Dancing With The Stars. It’s easy to call him insane, because he really is, but he’s that special type of insane that doesn’t he’s insane. He thinks yelling at your TV while it’s off or collecting lizards is a thing that everyone does, and while I’m glad everyone isn’t like Gary Busey, I’m he exists. I can’t imagine he’s much a dancer at this stage in his life, but you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be tuning in to see what happens. I really hope he somehow incorporates the horse into his act.
No clue what to make of this. You died, came back to life and saw the crash from many perspectives? or life from many perspectives? Or the surgery? I have no fucking clue. I’m going to stop trying to decode these face books posts of his so my brain doesn’t overheat.
Hey, at least we know it’s actually him that is writing all his social media updates. How do I know this? Because if that’s his publicist writing for his Facebook then he needs to stop paying them immediately.
Another notable celeb that CLEARLY writes his own post is The Iron Sheik
Respect the Wonder Woman forever but if she fuck with me I can break her fucking neck any day
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) December 4, 2013
I think we should have a a crazy competition between Yoko Ono and Gary Busey. Set up an obstacle course and have them each have a conversation with a random person for an hour. Whichever random person doesn’t lose their mind wins a house or something. I’d say at this very moment, Busey is crazier, mainly because he doesn’t just tweet nonsense, he makes videos. On this week’s video blog, the master of disaster is at it again. It’s one thing to just be absolutely insane, but it’s another thing to seek advice from someone who is absolutely insane. When I first got my dog and he was humping everything in sight, my first impulse was not to ask Gary Busey what to do. Are you feeling complacent in life? Write a letter to Gary Busey, but be warned, he’s going to tell you to go skydiving. Although he’s clearly losing his mind, I have to say I’ve grown to love the guy. All aboard the crazy train.
Hobbit peenie sheath. Three words I truly thought I’d never use in a sentence. Have you ever wondered what Hobbit’s use for protection during sex? Well wonder no more, because Busey goes into explicit detail about Hobbit sex life. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes, it’s very, very disturbing. Every once in awhile a topic or conversation comes along and makes you question your existence on this earth. This video is not one of those conversations. Apparently these peenie sheaths have horns (similar to car horns) that make a noise if the sheath misses it’s target. Don’t take my word for it, just watch Busey air hump the camera while wearing the sheath. This is why video blogs were created.
P.S. 110% chance he thinks Hobbit’s are real.
Watching Gary Busey give people life advice is the reason dinosaurs put me on this Earth. I have to imagine when Al Gore invented the internet, he had this in mind. Who better to give life advice to lost souls then the craziest person in the entire universe. I feel like the people writing into “The Busey Zone” are skipping some integral steps in the self help process. Who did these people go to before Busey? Charles Manson? A snake? I mean how do you wake up one day with a legitimate real life quandry and think to yourself: “you know who can help me? Gary fucking Busey.” I have to admit I had some high expectations for this vlog, and per usual Gary Busey exceeds them and blows my mind in the process. I also feel like he believes this is some type of competition. When the woman reading the first question interrupts him, he tells her not to interrupt his answer or she’ll be elminated. That’ll teach her to question Gary Busey. He loves puppies, cats and fish, and he’s changing lives. God help us all.
P.S. Gary Busey’s spinning head will forever haunt my dreams.