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Monster Blog Wednesday: Our Ideal Dancing With The Stars Partners

The “stars” for Dancing With The Stars season 20 were just announced, and they’re something. Suzanne Somers, Rumer Willis, Patti LaBelle, Michael Sam; I could literally go on and on, but I think you get the point. DWTS is fun enough, but The Average Nobodies aren’t the kind of people who see an idea and stop there; we see an idea and think ‘how can this idea be better’? In that spirit, we decided to tweak the DWTS concept and instead of a professional dancer paired up with a “celebrity”, we would insert ourselves into the dance routine and bring in some real star power. Ryan with George Clooney? Matt with Elon Musk? The choices are literally endless. Here are our ideal DWTS partners:

Christopher Walken

He may have lost a step, but Christopher Walken has been busting a move longer than I’ve been alive. Simply put, he’s a dancing machine, and if there’s two things you need to succeed on DWTS it’s the ability to do a bunch of different dances and fearlessness. Nobody is more fearless (or insane) than Christopher Walken. I’m a little skeptical of his ability to move around after watching the live Peter Pan special, but luckily for C-Walk, I have some dance moves of my own. Maybe we do the salsa, maybe we do the Charleston, maybe we sit in a chair and stare at the audience; when you’re with Christopher Walken, you can get away with anything. If I’m being honest, unless Alfonso Ribeiro is on the show, the title is up for grabs, so I’m very confident that we’ll be in the finals when that day comes around. Fogarty/Walken ’16!

– Ryan

WWF Superstar Chyna

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Our dancing partnership is based solely on two things: power and agility. While I may not have either one of those traits former WWF vixen, Chyna, has them in spades. Here is how I see our routines going: I come out and bust a few of my signature moves, maybe a few pop and locks sprinkled over a rhythmic pounding of the dance floor by my size 13 shoe. **Enter Chyna** We meet center stage and begin to waltz (her leading of course). From there we treat the rest of the routine like a Cirque Du Soleil show with Chyna tossing me all over the place. We finish with the move from Dirty dancing, but this time I take over and lift her (I have experience).

 

-Matt

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If Jon Favreau is Trying to Make ‘Jungle Book’ My Favorite Movie Ever He’s Succeeding

 

JFThe star-studded cast of Disney’s “The Jungle Book” is growing.

Oscar winner Christopher Walken has been cast to be the voice of King Louie while “Breaking Bad” alum Giancarlo Esposito will play Akela the wolf in director Jon Favreau’s adaption of the Rudyard Kipling story, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The two actors join the already illustrious cast that includes Lupita Nyong’o, Scarlett Johansson, Idris Elba and Ben Kingsley.

Nyong’o, 31, is slated to voice Rakcha, the mother wolf who adopts Mowgli, played by 10-year-old Neel Sethi, with Elba, 41, portraying the villainous tiger Shere Khanwho.

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Idris Elba. Giancarlo Esposito. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AS KING LOUIE! My excitement for this movie is now unrivaled. Christopher Walken as King Louie is just a dream casting choice. When you have a goofy orangutan that is integral to the plot you get Christopher Walken to voice it. That’s just a life rule. Add Idris Elba as the bad boy tiger Shere and Gustavo Fring as Akela the wolf, and I feel like I died and went to movie heaven. We actually took part in a live Q and A with Favreau at SXSW this year, and he talked a little bit about the pre production aspect of ‘Jungle Book’. It’s a crazy amount of work, but Favreau has experience with big budget movies (Iron Man) so this should be epic. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AS KING LOUIE!

– Ryan

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