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Monster Blog Wednesday: Our Ideal Dancing With The Stars Partners

The “stars” for Dancing With The Stars season 20 were just announced, and they’re something. Suzanne Somers, Rumer Willis, Patti LaBelle, Michael Sam; I could literally go on and on, but I think you get the point. DWTS is fun enough, but The Average Nobodies aren’t the kind of people who see an idea and stop there; we see an idea and think ‘how can this idea be better’? In that spirit, we decided to tweak the DWTS concept and instead of a professional dancer paired up with a “celebrity”, we would insert ourselves into the dance routine and bring in some real star power. Ryan with George Clooney? Matt with Elon Musk? The choices are literally endless. Here are our ideal DWTS partners:

Christopher Walken

He may have lost a step, but Christopher Walken has been busting a move longer than I’ve been alive. Simply put, he’s a dancing machine, and if there’s two things you need to succeed on DWTS it’s the ability to do a bunch of different dances and fearlessness. Nobody is more fearless (or insane) than Christopher Walken. I’m a little skeptical of his ability to move around after watching the live Peter Pan special, but luckily for C-Walk, I have some dance moves of my own. Maybe we do the salsa, maybe we do the Charleston, maybe we sit in a chair and stare at the audience; when you’re with Christopher Walken, you can get away with anything. If I’m being honest, unless Alfonso Ribeiro is on the show, the title is up for grabs, so I’m very confident that we’ll be in the finals when that day comes around. Fogarty/Walken ’16!

– Ryan

WWF Superstar Chyna



Our dancing partnership is based solely on two things: power and agility. While I may not have either one of those traits former WWF vixen, Chyna, has them in spades. Here is how I see our routines going: I come out and bust a few of my signature moves, maybe a few pop and locks sprinkled over a rhythmic pounding of the dance floor by my size 13 shoe. **Enter Chyna** We meet center stage and begin to waltz (her leading of course). From there we treat the rest of the routine like a Cirque Du Soleil show with Chyna tossing me all over the place. We finish with the move from Dirty dancing, but this time I take over and lift her (I have experience).



Fired From New York, It’s Saturday Night Live: Farewell Brooks Wheelan

The first of what I’m assuming many pegs to fall during SNL’s offseason is Brooks Wheelan. He was the most logical choice to go since he was in very few sketches which really contributed to him not leaving much of an impression on the SNL audience. SNL has always been better with a smaller cast, as it gives the featured players more of a chance to shine, so Brooks and the rest of the roster cuts should be viewed as a positive. Plus, it’s never bad for an aspiring comedian or comedy actor to have a year of SNL under his/her belt. At least he’ll always have his favorite moments:

– Ryan

Seth Meyers Tweeted Out His Favorite Sketch From Each New Cast Member Because Seth Meyers is the Man

Seth Meyers is the classiest guy around. The Weekend Update desk, and Saturday Night Live in general, will definitely miss him.

– Ryan

Saturday Night Live Review – Kerry Washington & Eminem

Kerry Washington and her fine self is your host. The hysterical Eminem is the musical guest. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights..

Cold Open – White House

Everyone knew this was coming. The casting of six white cast members (5 male) during SNL’s off season irked critics who’ve longed for more female black cast members. Washington is our first black host of the year, so it makes sense to talk about the elephant in the room. The text on screen was hysterical, and Washington played a good Michelle Obama and Oprah.

What Does My Girl Say?

Blogged about this earlier in the week. The SNL digital shorts have been solid this season, and as expected, SNL takes the cake when it comes to parodies of ridiculous pop culture hits. Who that, who that, who that bitch. Kinda catchy.

Weekend Update

I feel like there hasn’t been a bad weekend update in years. Seth and Cecily are a killer team, so it will be bittersweet when he leaves for his own late night talk show. Jay Pharaoh and Kenan’s Shaq and Barkley impressions are so good it’s creepy. Seriously, though: WHAT’S EATING THE RATS IN NYC!?

Career Week Speaker

This may be the year Nasim Pedrad breaks free. She got to star in two sketches last week, and her hand movements/gyrations coordinated with lasers were pretty awesome in this sketch. Can’t deny the success of someone who owns a Honda Prelude. Also, Kerry Washington can be my sidekick any day.

Ice Cream

Put a bunch of 25-35 year old guys in a room with a decent amount of weed and you have the ice cream sketch. This was bizarre, but I liked it. Compared to some of the sketches me and my friends have come up with, this is quasi normal. The digital shorts/ pre-taped segments have all been really good this season.

Kerry Washington was a great host, and Eminem was making me LMAO. Not really, but he lip synced his way through a few songs, which is fine with me. Another solid episode, with a few OK sketches, but for the most part a good show. SNL went out of it’s way to address the lack of a black female character, a trend I hope doesn’t continue. They’re in the business of making people laugh, not answering every gripe from boneheads with a computer. We’re back November 16th with musical guest and host, Lady Gaga.

Monsterblog Wednesday: Our Favorite Current SNL Cast Members

Saturday Night Live is just about back in full swing, after two solid episodes from Tina Fey and Miley Cyrus to start off the season. The big story heading into Season 39 was the cast overhaul that was forced upon Lorne Michaels due the departure of veteran cast members Jason Sudekis, Bill Hader and Fred Armisen. While the six new cast members have performed admirably over their inaugural episodes, there are also some veterans left over from previous seasons who have been thrust into the spotlight. The even mix of veteran and rookie performers could lead to a monster season for SNL, and we decided to pick our favorite male and female performer from this years cast.

Bobby Moynihan and Kate McKinnon

Bobby: Moynihan has been my favorite cast member for a few years now, and now that the heavy hitters are gone, it’s his time to shine. He seems to perform in almost every sketch, but really shines as the bumbling anchor in the Fox News sketch, and more notably as Drunk Uncle. Now that Stefon is gone, Drunk Uncle might be the best recurring character on Weekend Update.

Kate: McKinnon has slowly become a key player for SNL, and I’m of the opinion that this group of female SNL performers could turn out to be their best ever. It seems as if every impression she is scripted to do, she nails. Ellen DeGeneres and Jodie Foster are just a few of her spot on imitations. She’s also great on Weekend Update. Don’t take my word for it. Search Olya Povlatsky, the Russian immigrant, or Cecelia Gimenez, the Spanish women who defaced the Ecce Homo painting. She is far and away the most versatile performer on SNL, and her future is very bright.

– Ryan

Jay Pharoah and Nasim Pedrad

Jay: One of the most underrated personalties on Saturday Night Live is Jay Pharoah.  This guy has impressions for days and is spot on with each one (Shannon Sharpe being his newest one, and probably most hilarious). While his on air talent is evident in the sketches he participates in, I didn’t realize how truly talented and creative he was until he got on Sway in the Morning:

Nasim: Besides the massive crush I have on Nasim, I really think she is one of the better females on Saturday Night Live today. She, like Jay, has a range of impressions that she nails in every skit. She is quick on her feet and has the intangible quality of looking like she isn’t reading off of a cue card (very similar to Taran Killam). Here is a video of her doing one of her best impressions, Kim K. Oh, and guess who plays Yeezy? You guessed it, Jay.


SNL Officially Announces New Cast Members

(Source) “When NBC’s Saturday Night Live kicks off Season 39, it will be with a sum total of six, not five, new featured players.

As previously rumored, AT&T pitchman Beck Bennett (pictured, right) and Kyle Mooney (who also perform with the sketch comedy group Good Neighbor), female impressionist Noël Wells and comedian John Milhiser are now confirmed to join the late-night sketch series’ ensemble. Also, SNL scribe Mike O’Brien will step in front of the cameras this season.

But in announcing on Monday the new on-camera additions, SNL lobbed another name into the mix: stand-up comedian Brooks Wheelan (pictured, left), who last month had been made a part of the show’s writing staff.

The official announcement comes on the heels of Lorne Michaels telling the New York Times that sophomore player Cecily Strong will co-anchor Weekend Update with Seth Meyers this season.

SNL returns Sept. 28, with host Tina Fey and musical guest Arcade Fire.”

There you have it. 6 fresh faces will be part of the 39th season of Saturday Night Live. While I’ve only seen Beck Bennett perform (I hope his legs aren’t as short as they look in those AT&T commercials), it’s hard not to trust Lorne Michaels and his staff when it comes to finding new comedic talent. Transitions are always tricky, especially in a show such as SNL, which relies heavily on the chemistry of it’s actors and actresses. And while we’ll definitely miss Armisen, Sudekis and Hader, the large void their departures created could produce the show’s next rising star. My money is on Bobby Moynahan, but no matter who steps up, Season 39 should be a doozy.

– Ryan

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