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Quentin Tarantino’s New Film Is Reportedly Going To Focus On Charles Manson

While this is only speculation, Quentin Tarantino focusing his lens on Charles Manson & the Manson family is something I never knew I needed until now. As the above video mentions, this would be the first film of Tarantino’s to be based on real life events, but if he’s telling the story of Charles Manson, there will be no shortage of insane details to work through. At this point we’ll have to wait to hear from the demented one himself before we get too excited.

-Ryan

 

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Update To The Update: Charles Manson & Star’s Wedding Is Still On!

Love is in the AirAfton Elaine Burton is engaged to America’s most infamous mass murderer and now, the woman who calls herself “Star,” is giving her first interview about her strange relationship with the man most consider a monster. She said, “Yes, I am going to marry Charlie Manson! I think he’s the most handsome man in the world.” Star became obsessed with Charles Manson when she was a teenager in Illinois working at McDonald’s, and for the past nine years she’s lived just outside the Central California prison so she can see him twice a week, but no conjugal visits are permitted. She is 27 and Manson is 80, not to mention the fact that he’s got virtually no chance of ever walking free. “I’m going to stick with him whether or not he’s in prison,” she declared. She recalled the first time they met, saying, “I just thought he was the cutest thing. He probably asked me ten times if I wanted to get married.”

In a recent phone call between Burton and Manson, he asked, “So, are we sure together?”

She replied, “Yeah.”

Manson asked, “Are we solid together?”

“Yes,” she replied.

He then asked, “Are you my wife?”

“Yes,” she answered.

Manson then asked, “Until death do us part?”

I can't wait to see how this turns out

Well it turns out love isn’t dead after all, although I’m a little suspicious of this interview. Manson was the one who originally called off the wedding because he found his bride to be only wanted to marry him so she could gain possession of his corpse after he died and make money off it by displaying it in public. Now Star is saying the wedding is still on, but I want to hear that from Manson before I get too invested again. Because this is the bizarre world we live in, Inside Edition decided they should interview Star about her relationship with Manson. Is there really nothing else going on in the world that they can report on? Do we really need to feed into this story anymore than we already have? Apparently we do, because according to Star, the marriage is still on, and we also get a fascinating look into their phone conversations. OF COURSE Charles Manson would ask his fiancé if she’ll be his wife until death do them part. Of course he would. For now, it looks like the wedding is back on, and I hope it stays that way. My heart can only be toyed with so much.

– Ryan

 

 

In A Bizarre Update, The Charles Manson/’Star’ Wedding Is Off Because He Found Out She Only Wanted Possession Of His Corpse

OH GOODSerial killer Charles Manson’s supposed budding romance with a woman 53 years his junior has been allegedly exposed as a money-making scheme.

According to journalist Daniel Simone, 27-year old Afton Elaine Burton, now known as Star, was hoping that she would gain possession of Manson’s corpse through marriage so she and a couple of friends could put it on display in a glass case in LA.

They apparently thought the Lenin’s Tomb-esque attraction would draw a huge number of visitors and make them a lot of money. 

But Manson, 80, apparently got wind of the plan and now no longer wants to marry Burton. “He’s finally realized that he’s been played for a fool,” Simone told The NY Post. The tourist attraction was also something of a non-starter because Manson believes he is immortal.

“He feels he will never die,” Simone added. “Therefore, he feels it’s a stupid idea to begin with.” Manson and Burton’s marriage license expired on Thursday, though Burton apparently remains hopeful that it will be renewed.

What?

Well I guess love is dead. If Charles Manson and his 53 years younger lover can’t make it then nobody can. That’s the gist of it. Of course, there’s also a lot more to love about this story. Firstly, is it THAT surprising that a a 27 year old woman who wanted to marry Charles god damn Manson turned out be some kind of corpse preserving weirdo? I never thought it would end in a corpse tourist attraction but I can’t honestly say I’m surprised. Also, how about Charles Manson only calling off the wedding because he feels like the corpse tourist attraction is a stupid idea because he thinks he’s never going to die. OF COURSE Charles Manson think he’s immortal. That’s actually the one thing that makes sense about this entire thing. And you know what? He might be immortal. That might be the universe’s final FU to us. Make Charles Manson immortal so we can never pay $50 to see his corpse on display.

– Ryan

The Doctah is In: Charles Manson & Coconuts

manson1

Ok, so you see Charles Manson above. Not a cool guy.  However, he was a very intelligent man, just too twisted for his own agenda.  Spiderman said it best, “With great power comes great responsibility”.  This guy forgot that if you are responsible for controlling people, you are ultimately responsible for their actions.

This intro leads me to my next doctor-esque statement: although I do not have a PhD, I could easily diagnose Mr. Manson as having a true Chemical Imbalance in his brain.  Chemicals are called HORMONES.  Stay with me.

Short aside:  If you are Chinese and are referring to this page for correcting ailments, then a chemical imbalance is considered an imbalance of yin and yang energy.  Have you ever met someone ultimately good?  No.  Well, maybe Jesus. Or Black Jesus, who knows.  Have you ever seen or met someone very evil?  (See above).  Too much yang energy.

HOWEVER, there is a fix.

Now I’m not claiming I could fix Charles Manson.  What I am saying, is I could make it so we could harness what he knows, and make him a more positive person.  Maybe we could make him become conscious of his imbalance and his overdose of yang energy.

OK, so I’m not a dick.  I’m not gonna leave you hanging.

Who loves COCONUTS?  I do.

What is concentrated COCONUTS? Coconut Oil.

What does coconut oil do?  Balances hormones.

What does that mean?  It makes you a little less crazy.
So that means, if you balance your hormones, you can balance your yin and yang energy, thus making you a little less crazy.

And how do you do this?

FUCKIN COCONUTS.

Don’t believe me?  GOOGLE IT.  I WANT YOU TO.

And finally back to my original thesis. If we give Charles Manson 4 tablespoons of COCONUT OIL a day, we could balance his energy, and make him a little less stupid and a little less crazy. But come on, wouldn’t you want the knowledge of a guy that can smuggle a cellular phone into a secure prison facility?  I would.

Sincerely,

Don Juan’s Long Lost Brother,

The Doctah

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