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121 Wedding Bells

Adam’s getting married, so for this edition of the ANP we bring a draft of all types of wedding movies! Matt brings the riddles. Ryan brings a horrifying story. Mitch is on the ones and twos.

The Guy Who Proposed To His Girlfriend At Someone Else’s Wedding Needs A Lesson In Proposal Etiquette

LocalMany girls dream of the day they will be proposed to. A photo of one proposal has gone viral–and many seem to think it’s every girl’s nightmare.

The photo was posted to Reddit. It shows a man getting down on one knee in front of a couple at their wedding reception.

The viral proposal brings up wedding etiquette and whether or not it is appropriate to propose on another couple’s big day.


Most stuff that people freak out about online is an overreaction, but I’m with the masses on this one. You don’t propose to your girlfriend at someone else’s wedding. Once your over the age of 10, there’s really only one day that is all yours. Your birthday is no longer that big of a deal, so if you do get married, that’s the one day everyone else caters to you. This guy literally had 364 other days of the year to propose, but he had to do it on this couple’s wedding day. Maybe he should’ve just waited until someone died and done it at a funeral. Even that wouldn’t have been as bad. I’m sure some sob story will come out from this guy about how special this day was and blah, blah blah. You messed up, buddy. And thanks to the internet, everyone knows it.

– Ryan

Update To The Update: Charles Manson & Star’s Wedding Is Still On!

Love is in the AirAfton Elaine Burton is engaged to America’s most infamous mass murderer and now, the woman who calls herself “Star,” is giving her first interview about her strange relationship with the man most consider a monster. She said, “Yes, I am going to marry Charlie Manson! I think he’s the most handsome man in the world.” Star became obsessed with Charles Manson when she was a teenager in Illinois working at McDonald’s, and for the past nine years she’s lived just outside the Central California prison so she can see him twice a week, but no conjugal visits are permitted. She is 27 and Manson is 80, not to mention the fact that he’s got virtually no chance of ever walking free. “I’m going to stick with him whether or not he’s in prison,” she declared. She recalled the first time they met, saying, “I just thought he was the cutest thing. He probably asked me ten times if I wanted to get married.”

In a recent phone call between Burton and Manson, he asked, “So, are we sure together?”

She replied, “Yeah.”

Manson asked, “Are we solid together?”

“Yes,” she replied.

He then asked, “Are you my wife?”

“Yes,” she answered.

Manson then asked, “Until death do us part?”

I can't wait to see how this turns out

Well it turns out love isn’t dead after all, although I’m a little suspicious of this interview. Manson was the one who originally called off the wedding because he found his bride to be only wanted to marry him so she could gain possession of his corpse after he died and make money off it by displaying it in public. Now Star is saying the wedding is still on, but I want to hear that from Manson before I get too invested again. Because this is the bizarre world we live in, Inside Edition decided they should interview Star about her relationship with Manson. Is there really nothing else going on in the world that they can report on? Do we really need to feed into this story anymore than we already have? Apparently we do, because according to Star, the marriage is still on, and we also get a fascinating look into their phone conversations. OF COURSE Charles Manson would ask his fiancé if she’ll be his wife until death do them part. Of course he would. For now, it looks like the wedding is back on, and I hope it stays that way. My heart can only be toyed with so much.

– Ryan



“You Refuse to Update Your Relationship Status on Facebook”: A Breakup in 2014

At least the guy numbered his grievances. That’s about the only good thing I have to say about this breakup text. Also, it’s probably a good thing this girl got out of this relationship because there’s a solid chance this guy was planning to wear her as a skin coat. Guys with cats are already kind of a red flag (no offense Matt), and the rest of the reasons he lists here are borderline insane. The Facebook thing has to happen more often than we hear about. I  can only imagine this eating away at people as they stalk their significant other’s profiles. Constantly being teased by their friends who tell them “if it’s not Facebook official you’re not a real couple”. It’s clear that this guy finally broke down and he couldn’t take it anymore. Unless these two are 16 years old, the last two reasons are null and void. People swear, deal with it, and if you think you’re going to find a girl or guy over the age of 25 who has had less than 3 sexual partners you are literally looking for a unicorn: I’m pretty sure they exist, I’ve just never seen one. I know there are more crazy breakup texts out there, and if I’m being honest, now that I’ve had a taste of them, I need more. Fire up the internet! It’s breakup text research time.

– Ryan


This Guy Was At the Same Wedding as Walder Frey & There’s a Solid Chance He’s Dead Now

GOTSince “The Red Wedding” episode of Game of Thrones aired in June 2013, actor David Bradley has either been invited to ALL the weddings, or no weddings. On one hand, who wouldn’t want to take a picture with Walder Frey, like a Redditor recently did? On the other, well, at least your entire family is there. Makes the funeral much easier to plan.


There’s a few things I know to be true: George Clooney is a beautiful prince, Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic and if you go to a wedding that Walder Frey is at you’re going to die. I don’t care if it was my own wedding, if I saw that guy I’m running for the hills. If they find this guy with a knife in his back in some dumpster, you know who to question first.

– Ryan

Happy “How I Met Your Mother” Day


Today marks the end of a 9 year journey for Marshall, Barney, Lilly, Robin, and Ted. Tonight the New York gang says goodbye to both their fans and each other as they each take a separate path. Marshall and Lilly will be moving to Italy, Ted took a job in New York, and the newly weds, Robin and Barney will start married life in New York. This last season, and more specifically, the most recent episode, has given me all the closure I need for this sitcom, and if that’s is the case then what can I expect from the finale? Personally I think HIMYM still has a few tricks up its sleeve. Don’t be surprised if this one is a tad more tear-jerkier than other series finales like it. I think we are in for a wild ride of emotions.


Think about this going into the finale: Why is Ted telling his kids this story? What sparked it?

I think we find out tonight.

How Far Would You Go To Delay Your Own Wedding? This Guy Cut Off His Balls

A couple’s wedding was delayed after a man allegedly cut off his testicles before storming into a church just an hour before the ceremony was to take place.

The Brentwood, U.K. man was taken to a hospital Saturday shortly after his self-mutilation, according to As a vicar and florist put finishing touches to the church, the unnamed man stormed in, throwing chairs around as he soaked the floor in his blood.

A wedding guest who arrived early told the Brentwood Weekly News that the vicar would not let him enter the church because a man had cut off his testicles with a pair of scissors.

“When I went in the church, I saw something on the floor which I could only describe as flesh, which I thought was part of his arm but that was one of his testicles,” the wedding guest said.

After being taken to a hospital, police referred the man to a mental health assessment, according to the Brentwood Gazette.

Despite Essex Police wishing to close the church to further investigate the incident, the wedding went along a half hour later. The bride was not informed what caused the delay until after the wedding. – Huff Post

Well played, sir, very well played. Clearly this guy was in over his head and his only option was to remove his testicles…with a pair of scissors. I want to applaud this man because he made the tough call in a tough situation, and that takes….well….balls (hypothetically speaking of course). Who hasn’t been in this situation? The classic “I can’t think of a solid excuse to not do something, so I will chop off a piece of my own body” move. Classic. Usually you can just claim diarrhea and everything is settled, but not this guy, not on his wedding day. He makes sure his excuse can’t be fixed with a little Pepto.


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