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Will Smith is a BUM

According to an interview with New York Daily News, director Roland Emmerich explained that Will Smith would not be returning for the Independence Day sequel (due out in 2015) because he simply costs too much. “Will Smith can not come back because he’s too expensive, but he’d also be too much of a marquee name,” the filmmaker said. -Film School Rejects

Hey Will Smith, Fuck you and the overpriced horse you rode in on.  Independence Day, the movie that is about as “Red, White and Blue” as you can get, is getting a sequel.  Thank the good lord! I thought for a minute that there would never be another movie where America saves the world from an alien invasion…….. All kidding aside, I loved Independence Day.  Nothing gives me a stars and stripes boner more than listening to Bill Pullman give his “Independence” speech out of the back of a pickup truck.  That’s all-star American hero stuff.  The hiccup in the production of the new one is that Will Smith is “too expensive” to get for the sequel.  Really Will? You’re gonna do us like that?  I think after having to suffer through your last few movies you would throw us a freakin’ bone here.  Reunite with Goldblum and save America again. Actually, on second though, I’m glad that he won’t be back, this gives Paxton a chance at saving the sequel from a possible flop at the box office. Listen up, Emmerich, this is how we transition.  Movie opens, Goldblum and Paxton find Will using and beating his wife…again.  Goldblum pulls out a .45 and blows his head off.  Kill off Will, problem solved.

God Dammit, i’m good.


P.S. I imagine this is the producers reaction when he got Will Smith’s price for the second movie.

I’m Ready For Superman To Hurt Me Again


In 2006 I went through one of the worst heartaches I ever felt.  That year Superman Returns hit the big screen.  It was the first Superman movie to come out since I have been born into this world.  The movie trailers flirted with me and I took the bait; Hook, line, and sinker.  “Brandon Routh has the Superman look”, I convinced myself.  “Kevin Spacey is going to be a badass Lex Luthor” I shouted from the rooftops.  I was so excited to see this movie that my friends and I even broke curfew to see it.  The opening credits rolled and the movie began…154 minutes later I woke up.  Not sure what just happened, I looked to my friends.  None of them had been able to bare what was just put in front of them either.  Superman had raped us…raped us real good.  I felt like the time I got invited to prom by a popular girl and got red paint dumped on my head…just completely embarrassed.

Superman had scared me so bad I wasn’t ready to love again… until now.  Man of Steel is in theaters and I’m ready to open myself back up.  But this seems all too familiar. Henry Cavill has the Superman look and Michael Shannon looks to be a very convincing and intense villain.  I don’t like where this road is headed, but I will try to love again.

Tonight at 8pm, I have a date with Clark Kent.


P.S. I’m pretty sure I was roofied when I saw Superman Returns.


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