Blog Archives

Trailer/Boner Alert: Independence Day – Resurgence

As I’m watching the Patriots maul the Texans last night on SNF, something marvelous happens: Jeff Goldblum’s beautiful face appears on my television screen and before I know it my pants are off and I can’t stop being giddy. I don’t know if this trailer was announced or not, but I had no clue it was coming and it was beyond amazing. The original Independence Day was one of those spectacle type movies that really only get better with each viewing. I’d also have to be some type of monster to not enjoy seeing Jeff Goldbum and a grizzled Bill Pullman talking about aliens again. Getting to see a movie like this in IMAX is going to be an EVENT, and I cannot wait.

-Ryan

P.S. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t waiting for Will Smith to pop in. Damn you, William.

Dave Grohl Played His DC Concert From Atop A Throne Because He’s A Beautiful Monster

Dave Grohl wasn’t going to let a little broken leg get in the way of a good time. He drew up his own blueprints for a throne and just like that, the coolest guy in music got that much cooler. I had a few friends who attended the concert and it was non surprisingly awesome, and I’m sure seeing King Dave come out on a throne made the night even better. All hail King Dave!

– Ryan

Happy Independence Day, Nobodies

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-The Average Nobodies

Happy Birthday, America

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Will Smith is a BUM

According to an interview with New York Daily News, director Roland Emmerich explained that Will Smith would not be returning for the Independence Day sequel (due out in 2015) because he simply costs too much. “Will Smith can not come back because he’s too expensive, but he’d also be too much of a marquee name,” the filmmaker said. -Film School Rejects

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Hey Will Smith, Fuck you and the overpriced horse you rode in on.  Independence Day, the movie that is about as “Red, White and Blue” as you can get, is getting a sequel.  Thank the good lord! I thought for a minute that there would never be another movie where America saves the world from an alien invasion…….. All kidding aside, I loved Independence Day.  Nothing gives me a stars and stripes boner more than listening to Bill Pullman give his “Independence” speech out of the back of a pickup truck.  That’s all-star American hero stuff.  The hiccup in the production of the new one is that Will Smith is “too expensive” to get for the sequel.  Really Will? You’re gonna do us like that?  I think after having to suffer through your last few movies you would throw us a freakin’ bone here.  Reunite with Goldblum and save America again. Actually, on second though, I’m glad that he won’t be back, this gives Paxton a chance at saving the sequel from a possible flop at the box office. Listen up, Emmerich, this is how we transition.  Movie opens, Goldblum and Paxton find Will using and beating his wife…again.  Goldblum pulls out a .45 and blows his head off.  Kill off Will, problem solved.

God Dammit, i’m good.

-MattyV

P.S. I imagine this is the producers reaction when he got Will Smith’s price for the second movie.
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