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Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino Has a New TV Show Coming Out Because That’s Exactly What We Need

WHY?Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is back with his first unscripted series since MTV’s blockbuster Jersey Shore. The six-packed reality star and his family will star in The Sorrentinos on the TV Guide Network (video below).

Unlike Shore, the premise focuses less on partying and more on The Sitch spending time with his New Jersey family. The cast includes Mike along with Linda (his mother), Marc (middle brother), Melissa (sister), and Frank (older brother).

“The reality of the situation is … for the first time, fans and the general public, will be able to see and, well, meet Michael Sorrentino,” Mike Sorrentino said. “This next chapter of my life is about sobriety and family, and I’m stoked to take people on this journey with us.”

Sorrentino was one of the biggest breakout performers on Shore when it became a national phenomenon in 2009. He embraced the gym-tan-laundry-drinking-dating lifestyle of the hard-partying series, and with a myriad of endorsement deals for brands such as Vitamin Water and Reebok, started to rake in an estimated $5 million a year. Sorrentino went to rehab in 2012 for treatment of an addiction to prescription pain killers; Jersey Shore concluded on MTV later that year.

The Sorrentinos asks: After you’ve been one of the biggest reality stars in the country, what happens next? Since the conclusion of Shore, Sorrentino has tried his hand as a character actor in the webseries New Stage but has otherwise been off the reality TV grid. “We’re excited to take viewers, who met Mike in a very different time and place of his life, and bring them along for this ride with The Sorrentinos,” said Brad Schwartz, president of entertainment for TVGN. “Family is everything and it’s something people universally come back to no matter who you are and what you do. Fame just makes the stakes higher and more public.”

Production begins next week on eight episodes with no premiere date yet set. Here’s a “sizzle reel” pilot presentation that was shot for the network. Meet The Sorrentinos:

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I’m glad this guy is clean now but the only thing worse than watching him drunk and pilled out on the Jersey Shore is going to be watching him sober. Is there really no other show we could put on TV? We really have to watch ‘The Situation’ and his brothers argue over who’s steroid fueled body looks better? His sister being semi hot is the only redeeming storyline I can think of that I’d be interested in. He’s literally the luckiest guy in the world to be in the position he’s in: he got picked out of a crowd to be on the Jersey Shore when there are literally thousands of other people just like him. What makes him stand out, his abs? I’m sure you could go to every tropical city in the country and find 100 guys with the same abs. Same goes for his haircut and his general asshole demeanor. I hate this. I hate it and it stinks.

– Ryan

Winter Storm Boreas Might Be the Dumbest Named Storm in History

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Boreas? I know we get the winter storm names from high school students in Montana but come on. We couldn’t have skipped over this one? A quick Wikipedia search shows “Boreas” was the Greek God of the North Wind. Whoopity-do! Let’s get creative, people. The United States is OK with naming a winter storm that is heading towards the north eastern part of the United States after the Greek God of THE NORTH WIND?

I need the weather channel to be better than this. They brought the criticism on themselves when they started naming winter storms. Did you think the general public was just going to let you coast by while you make a mockery of the storm naming game? Not on my watch. Step it up. Screw the high school suggestions. Have some pride, and give these storms the names they deserve.

– Ryan

Mike Rowe is a Superhero

Apparently Mike Rowe used to be an opera singer. Now I need him to narrate my every move and be my life coach. It’s the next logical step after an acclaimed music and television career.

– Ryan

P.S. People might take this the wrong way, but I want to steal his vocal cords and surgically replace them with mine.

Netflix Must Watch: Storm Chasers

Remember all those tornadoes a few months ago that destroyed entire states? Well here are the people who actually chase these bad boys down in the name of insanity and science. It’s easy to be a couch potato observer and call these people dumb and crazy, but they have bigger balls than a pit bull ready to breed, so I’m going to save my judgment for better things. Perfect rainy day marathon show, as Netflix has the first four season in full. While they’re no Bill Paxton from Twister, they still risk life and limb  tracking these forces and nature, and that’s good enough for me.

– ryanfoges