Dean Martin – Walking In A Winter Wonderland
This Music Monday pick was an easy one. Rhode Island got it’s first snow of the season over the weekend, so this song was playing on a loop in my house all weekend long. The only thing Dean Martin did better than drinking martini’s was singing songs, and that’s a scientific fact. Have a great day on purpose everybody.
Bonus picture of my dog running in the snow happier than any living being will ever be.
Living in Rhode Island, we’re not strangers to winter storms. Every winter, the Northeast gets hit with snow, with some years being worse than others. Last year, we got hammered for almost 3 straight months, and even as someone who enjoys the seasons and likes snow, it was a bit much. The 2015-2016 season has been a lot easier on us, as we’re entering the third week of January without any significant snow. According to weather people everywhere, that’s about to change. Instead of complaining about it, we decided to have some fun with it, and name the blizzard that will rape and pillage all the milk and eggs from Stop N Shop.
Winter Storm Norm
The most important parameter to follow when naming any storm is rhyming. If you don’t get tickled at the thought of a fictional winter storm with a rhyming name, then you shouldn’t be able to leave your house, and if you can’t leave your house then what’s this all been about? Winter Storm Norm is stoic, classy, can play the Sax and is the type of guy you go to with woman troubles. Think of him as a Ron Swanson that could cover your home in 10 feet of snow if he wanted to. This weekend I plan on holding up in the basement of my house with a beer(s), New Girl on netflix and a blanket to keep me warm and let Winter Storm Norm rock me to sleep.
Blizzard Mona Lisa Vito
I want my blizzards to have a little sass and attitude, and who has more sass and attitude than Mona Lisa Vito? Nobody. I want a blizzard that comes in guns blazing, blanketing us in snow and spitting in our eye at the same time. The red dress might make you think that she’s here for a good time, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Blizzard Mona Lisa Vito is here to break your heart and drop copious amounts of snow on your ass. A classic tease, Mona Lisa Vito is coming in for the weekend, not even giving us the pleasure of a day off from work.
Jim Cantore is a mad man. We knew that already, but this video proves without a doubt that he loves the weather more than most people are capable of loving anyone or anything. His joy in this video rivals the joy you see in dogs seeing their owners again after years of separation. It’s beyond what a human should be able to express, but I love every minute of it. Imagine if everyone loved their job this much? The world would be a much brighter place. Jim Cantore Thundersnow FTW.
Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘This Week In Unnecessary Censorship’ Features The Super Bowl, Bad Weather & Roman Reigns
This is a really underrated sketch from Jimmy Kimmel. Everyone falls in love with Jimmy Fallon’s wonderful sketches and Kimmel’s Celebrity Mean Tweet segments, but the Unnecessary Censorship bit is always funny. The Lombardi trophy getting censored while Patriot players were touching and kissing it was hysterical and hey, even WWE got in there this time! Roman Reigns wanting to have sex with Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins will forever haunt my dreams.
-The Average Nobodies
If Steve Carell thinks you are doing a bad job at something he is just going to step in and take over. That’s what true professionals do. “Oh, this [Smoke] weather girl isn’t living up to Steve’s expectations on how UK weather should be portrayed? Step aside and let Brick Tamland do his thing.”
Michael Scott doing Michael Scott things.