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Things Are Not Ok At Home For Zayn Malik


One day you’re a member of one of the most popular bands in the world, the next you’re dying your hair green and pulling off the ‘I’m a drug addict’ look. I’m sure there’s thousands of teenage girls somewhere dying their hair green right now while crying their eyes out, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. I don’t know why Zayn thought dying his hair green was a good move, but it’s not a great look. Maybe if he had a beautiful ponytail it would look a little better but he’s got a buzz cut. What’s the point of dying your hair with a buzz cut? I do not know, but what I do know is that everything is not ok at Zayn Malik’s home.

– Ryan

Zayn Malik Left One Direction & People Are Losing Their Goddamn Minds

If you’ve been on the internet in the last 24 hours, you’ll know that Zayn Malik left One Direction. While that means absolutely nothing to me and most of the population, there are still people who are taking it very badly. One Direction is THE boy band right now, and all their fans are teetering on the brink of insanity as it is, and I’m afraid this story is going to send them over the edge. Here are some sample tweets:

Obviously I can’t relate to any of these people, and I’m sure that One Direction is an important part of their life, but some of this is a little overboard. Zayn related tweets occupy two of the top three trends in the world right now, so obviously a lot of people are affected positively or negatively. He’s one member of a five person group. so I can’t imagine their songs are going to sound a lot different, but in the Internet age, people feel like they’re a lot closer to their favorite celebrities than they actually are. They follow them on Twitter and are friends with them on Facebook and that’s when things get weird. I can only imagine some of the shit that this guy Zayn is hearing from his fans, and if I were him, I’d stay as far away from the spotlight as possible.

– Ryan

Music Monday – Night Changes

One Direction performed on SNL, again, the other night and, as usual, they DESTROYED IT. I am not afraid to say i’m a big fan of them. People who say they don’t like their music are lying. That’s all it comes down to.


Twitter News Weekly – One Direction To Perform At Charles Manson’s Wedding

Do you want the latest update on mass murderer Charles Manson’s pending nuptials? Do you want to know why Zayn Malik didn’t join the rest of his One Direction band mates on The Today Show? We answer none of those questions and more on Twitter News Weekly!

We’re on YouTube!

We’re on Twitter! @averagenobodies

We’re not on Tinder.

– The Average Nobodies

One Direction’s New Music Video For ‘Steal My Girl’ Stars Danny Devito For Some Hilarious Reason

Talk about an odd pairing. When I think of One Direction (which I do constantly) the name Danny DeVito does not also come to mind. I actually think Danny DeVito might be the polar opposite of One Direction. But I’m not here to complain, because Danny DeVito is on my computer screen and that is never, ever a bad thing. He look as crazy as ever, and if this is some kind of ploy to get to get me to watch old seasons of Always Sunny then it worked. Crazy Danny DeVito will always have a piece of my heart.

– Ryan

One Direction Stole My Deepest and Darkest Secrets During Their Performance on SNL


Talk about the death stare. This kid (I know he is part of One Direction, because Saturday Night Live told me so, but have no clue who he is) was staring straight into my soul and there was nothing I could do about it. I was frozen and helpless on the couch while this kid was raping me with his eyes. My only saving grace was a camera switch to another member of One Direction. I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke the camera after this shot. He was straight beaming down the center of that lens. That camera operator is in a coma. I could bet my life savings on that.

Not cool SNL, not cool.


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