Apparently Everyone in North Dakota is Insane

“A bacon-eating, beer-guzzling burglar is on the loose in North Dakota.

Last week, a 30-year-old Bismarck woman told police that someone broke into her home, then cooked some of her bacon in the microwave, The Bismarck Tribune reported. Three cans of Bud Light were also missing from the residence. The break-in took place sometime between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. Monday, when the resident returned home and noticed the distinct scent of cooked bacon lingering in the air.

It is unclear whether the suspect, if caught, will face additional charges for the unforgivable crime of cooking bacon in a microwave.

The delectable salty breakfast food has lured others to criminal activity in the past.

Last year, a Missouri man was sentenced to seven years in prison after breaking into a stranger’s home and frying bacon in her kitchen, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

And in 2011, three teens broke into a store freezer in Indiana and made off with $90 worth of bacon.

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First we had the hero who’s writing fat kids letters for Halloween, and now we have the most laid back burglar of all time. Why even report this to the police? The guy was obviously craving bacon, and he must’ve ran out. The only crime I can think of would be to not enjoy a few bud lights while cooking said bacon. You’ve already went through the trouble or breaking and entering the house and cooking the bacon. Treat yo self with a few beers. I wonder if this was the first house he broke into, or did he need to break into numerous houses to find one with bacon? Either way, the clear motive was a bacon breakfast. The breaking and entering part was just collateral damage. Whether they find this mastermind or not, one thing has been made very clear: North Dakota news reporters are awful at getting people’s names for their stories.

– Ryan

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About ryanfoges

I want to experience as much as I can while I’m here. Come along for the ride @rfogarty7.

Posted on October 30, 2013, in Average Blog Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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