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Category Archives: Uncategorized

The 49ers Picked Solomon Thomas & Reuben Foster In The First Round Of The #NFLDraft

Most mock drafts had the San Francisco 49ers taking Stanford defensive end Solomon Thomas at No. 2 overall in the 2017 NFL Draft. Those drafts were wrong, because the 49ers DIDN’T take Thomas … until No. 3 overall, a whole pick later after they traded down with the Chicago Bears.

That’s right, the 49ers took the player most expected, and they did it after earning an extra 2017 third-round pick, 2017 fourth-round pick and a 2018 third-round pick. But they weren’t done there, sneaking back into the first round at No. 31, where they grabbed linebacker Reuben Foster of Alabama. – Niners Nation

Epic Success!

Fans usually have two emotions following their teams fist round picks in the NFL Draft: elation or depression. It’s very rare to finish up round 1 and have a level headed opinion of the players your team just got, and that’s why I went with the elated GIF above. Solomon Thomas was the name most scouts and draft analyzers were throwing around for the #2 pick the 49ers were holding onto, but John Lynch and co. threw everyone a curveball at the last second. While they ended up selecting Thomas, they did so at #3 and orchestrated a trade with the Bears that netted them two later round picks this year and a third round pick in 2018. The Bears moved up a spot to grab Mitchell Trubisky and the 49ers took Thomas, but Unpredictable John wasn’t through yet.

Lynch made another trade, this time with division rival Seattle. The 49ers traded the Seahawks the #34 pick in the second plus the #111 pick in the fourth round to move up three spots to #31 in the first round. They selected Alabama LB Reuben Foster with that 31st pick, who could end up being the steal of the draft. While the 49ers still have some holes to fill on offense, I’d rather play with Hoyer/Barkley at QB and Garcon/Goodwin/Kerley/Robinson at WR than trot out a defense that made no upgrades from last year. I’m not expecting magic from a team that finished 2-14 last year, but it’s clear that Lynch and Shanahan have a vision for this team and are doing everything possible to get the right pieces in place. Plus, we left round 1 with one more pick than we had going into the night.

As far as the two picks the 49ers did make, here is how they’re described over on 49ers.com

Round 1: Pick 3 – Solomon Thomas DL, Stanford

Thomas, (6’3, 273) is regarded as one of the top pass-rushers in this year’s draft. This past year, Thomas was named first team All-Pac-12, third team All-American and won the Morris Trophy as the Pac-12 Defensive Player of the Year. Thomas started all 13 games totaling 62 total tackles, 14 for loss, and 8.5 sacks.

Round 1: Pick 31 – Reuben Foster, LB, Alabama

A unanimous first-team All-American and All-SEC pick. Foster, (6’0, 229) was named Butkis Award winner as the nation’s best linebacker. He was named MVP of the SEC Championship Game against Crimson and finished 2016 with 115 tackles, 13 for losses, and five sacks in 2016.

P.S.

Hey Goodell, talk much? You’re reading off a goddamn card. Foster shouldn’t give you that much trouble to say. And if you don’t think I’m starting up a fan club called The Cake Froster’s that dresses up as pastry chefs for every 49ers game then I guess you don’t know me at all.

-Ryan

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The Doctah Is Playing The World’s Smallest Violin For Johnny Depp’s Financial Woes #Disneyland

Johnny Depp’s ex-managers, in a lawsuit, allege that the actor’s extravagant spending led to his losing millions of dollars. Depp disagrees.

“Why didn’t they drop me as a client if I was so out of control?” Depp told the Wall Street Journal. “I’ve worked very, very hard for a lot of years and trusted a lot of people, some who’ve clearly let me down.”

Depp sued The Management Group in January, claiming that after he fired them, his new business manager discovered misconduct in the form of TMG collecting fees he never agreed to, failing to file Depp’s taxes on time and loaning out his money without authorization. Depp believes TMG led him to be more than $40 million in debt.

In a countersuit, his ex-managers Joel and Robert Mandel said their company did what they could with Depp’s finances, but it was the actor’s expensive lifestyle that was his downfall. – Yahoo

Johnny Depp talking to his financial managers

Pirates.  Blow.  Gilbert Grape.  All epic.

Apparently, for Johnny, it hasn’t been enough.  Depp has fired his management company, and after investigations, has found that this management company is the reason he’s $40 million in debt.  He has also set a lawsuit against them.

Depp’s ex-group, the shadily named The Management Group (shady right?) has blamed Depp’s expensive lifestyle for his downfall. Depp spent 2 million per month which he could not afford. Depp has bought yachts, and luxury wine, and has 14 residences.  

So let’s just stop right here.  This is a story of pure greed and mismanagement.  Johnny, I love you – idolized you in Blow.  But Johnny, how do you mismanage 40 million?  Better yet, how do you let someone else mismanage your money and pay them for it?

And on top of that, how do you trust a company called The Management Group?  I’d rather trust Neuralink and they are fucking with brains.

14 residences? Johnny, liquidation always works.

And how do you only make 40 million from all those Blockbusters?  Johnny, if you need a new negotiator, friend, financial manager, Buddha, and/or a lawyer, I’m here for you.  I won’t use big words, BUT I guarantee I won’t lose $40 million of your money.

Pure stupidity people.  Be smart with your $30,000 annual salary – even celebs are broke.

~The Doctah~

Ep 29 – NFL Draft, Facebook Sorcery and McMahon Biopic

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Emmet Farnan Isn’t The Hero We Deserve, But He’s The Hero We Need

As if jumping into a half marathon on a whim wasn’t a questionable enough decision already, Emmet Farnan, a senior engineering student at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, found a way to make things even more difficult for himself: He decided to drink a beer at each mile marker.

A former high-school cross-country and track athlete, Farnan completed his feat at the Holy Half Marathon on April 1. He finished a Coors Light before starting the race, and then downed another at each mile marker. (He arranged for a friend with a backpack full of reserves to accompany him on a bike.) Still, he completed the race in 1:43:42, running just under eight-minute mile splits, and captured the whole thing using a GoPro. – Fox News

The only aspect of this entire situation I disagree with is going with Coors Light for your drink of choice. I’m a Busch Light/Bud Light guy, so I can’t really condone going with Coors Light, although I’ll give Emmet a pass because he’s obviously superhuman. Running 13. 1 miles sounds terrifying enough, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do 13 beers deep than run a half marathon. One time after going out to the bar I attempted to race my friend up a hill that was no longer than a couple hundred feet and I fell down face first. Multiply that couple hundred feet by infinity and I’d be passed out in some poor guys’ front yard. I salute you, Emmet Farnan, and if you’re ever in sunny Rhode Island I’ll have an ice cold Coors Light ready with your name on it.

-Ryan

 

Ep 11 – The Fast and The Infinity Gauntlet

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Donald Trump’s Obsession With Pictures Has Infected The @Patriots

We all know Donald Trump is obsessed with being right. He’s also obsessed with pictures, which started after his inauguration in January. As you can see in the picture below, Trump’s inauguration was not as well attended as his predecessor’s:

Now you can argue that the picture has been altered and that the sun sets in the East and rises in the West, but let’s just say that the above picture is accurate. Fast forward three months and we have another picture controversy on our hands thanks to the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots visiting Trump at the White House. The Patriots already announced that less players were showing up compared to 2015 but that the overall number of personnel and players would be about the same. Then, this picture happened:

Instead of just letting it go, the official Patriots Twitter account decided to chime in and give their take on the picture, which not only seems unnecessary, but seems like something that was directed by Trump himself:

The Patriots are a team that rarely officially comment on anything, so to have them come out and tweet something like that is odd. Kraft and Trump are butt buddies, and Belichick even wrote Trump a letter during the campaign, so you have to imagine that friendship and Trump’s obsession with being popular has a lot to do with it. Of course, Trump also weighed in on the picture, because he apparently has nothing better to do:

If you’re looking for some fresh reasons to hate the Patriots, you know have some ammo.

-Ryan

Ep 28 – Hard Knocks, Nintendo Blew It and Ryan Got Engaged!

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were selected for HBO’s Hard Knocks, The 49ers at the second pick in the NFL draft, Nintendo broke our hearts, Matt has a serious gripe with Kickstarter and Ryan got engaged! Leave a voicemail at 401-285-8120 | Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/AverageNobodies | Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/AverageNobodies | Facebook – http://www.Facebook.com/averagenobodies | Website – http://www.averagenobodies.comMerch – http://www.zazzle.com/theaveragenobodies

The Celtics Are Only The Second #1 Seed In NBA History To Start A First Round Series 0-2

The Bulls beat the Celtics 111-97 on Tuesday to become just the second No. 8 seed to go up 2-0 on a No. 1 seed. The other: the 1993 Lakers against the Suns. The good news for the Celtics: That Suns team ended up reaching the NBA Finals. – Fox Sports

And now a live look in at Celtics fans after Tuesday night’s loss:

This Is Fine GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

It’s one thing to lose the first two games on your home court, but it’s another thing entirely to get outplayed this badly against a team that won only 16 road games all year. After getting outrebounded 53-36 in game 1, Celts coach Brad Stevens made zero adjustments and the Celtics again gave up too many second chance opportunities to a team with a lot of offensive weapons. The rebounding disparity wasn’t as bad (43-38) but stats aren’t going to tell you the story of game 2. The Celtics played their best basketball in the opening minutes, but after that Rajon Rondo, Dwayne Wade, Jimmy Butler and Robin Lopez took over.

The Bulls hit a lot of shots, but most of those were open, and it’s not unheard of for a team to shoot 50% from the field and 40% from 3 point range, especially when many of those shots are uncontested. The Celtics are falling apart at the worst time, and are being outplayed at every position. Isiah Thomas is the Celts best weapon, but Rondo is whipping his ass at both ends of the floor. IT’s defensive holes were put on full display last night, as Rondo went for 11 points, 9 rebounds, 14 assists and 5 steals. It’s a tough spot for IT to be in, because the Celtics need him on the floor for his offense. While Avery Bradley would match up better with Rondo and stop him from getting to the basket, the Celts need him to put constant pressure on Jimmy Butler. With this series heading back to Chicago, the Celtics may have just played their final game in Boston this year.

-Ryan

** UPDATE** My Bucs have been selected for HBO’s Hard Knocks

**UPDATE: WE HAVE A TRAILER**

It’s about damn time, and I say that because I feel like the Bucs are in the conversation for this show every year. I can remember back to when Freeman was at the helm and HBO came a [Hard] Knockin’. They were ultimately shooed away; largely impart to our no nonsense head coach, Greg Schiano. Thank god they didn’t document that season for the whole world to see.

22486360351_5b23ff0e93_bBut now, the Bucs are a team I am proud to show off. They have a young, talented leader in Jameis Winston (Helps that he’s a super charismatic goofball), a young, on-the-rise defense and a coach who has proved that the Bucs don’t need to be bad for the world to keep spinning. The skeptics of this show, aka the haters who say “my team doesn’t need that distraction”, can kick rocks this year. I don’t always get to watch my Bucs on TV, so a weekly TV show starring all my favorite athletes is like Christmas morning over and over and over again.

Am I worried about guys showing off for the cameras? Nope. They are going to be showing off during the offseason one way or another, so might as well be in a controlled environment and not a strip club with some band substances and a hooker or two. Maybe the cameras will keep these guys dedicated or maybe the season will end in a fiery disaster. As a Bucs fan I’m more prepared for the latter, but I’m weirdly optimistic Hard Knocks will set the tone for the season to come. Let the media monsters take the Bucs and bring them into everyones homes week in and week out.

-Matt