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Watching the 2004 Red Sox Reunion Last Night Made Me Realize How Much I Loved That Team

The Red Sox brought back the 2004 team before last night’s game to celebrate the ten year anniversary of that world champion squad. 2014 Red Sox fans are spoiled after watching three world series wins in 10 years, but it’s easy to forget just how special that 2004 team was. They were nicknamed “The Idiots”, but they had the most character I’ve ever seen on a baseball team. From Manny to Damon to Millar to Pedro to Lowe to Ortiz to Timlin’s army fatigue undershirt: every guy on that team mattered, and every guy on that team contributed. They might not have been the best team that year, but they were the most fun to watch, and the 2004 ALCS is still the greatest series in the history of sports. Let’s hope some of that magic from the ’04 squad being at Fenway rubbed off on the 2014 team and we start making a serious run. Cowboy up!

– Ryan

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Can Someone Explain To Me Why David Ortiz Isn’t the Sportsman of the Year?

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Really SI? I wasn’t aware that the possibility of breaking the quarterback touchdown record was more impressive than putting a city in despair on your back, winning the AL East, winning the world series and becoming world series MVP. Peyton began his year by losing in the playoffs. Yes he’s having an unreal year, but he also has 3 of the top 15 receivers in the league. At this point, the broncos might not even win their division! And if you think they’re going to represent the AFC in the super bowl then you’re high. Sports Illustrated just lost my respect. Quite possibly the biggest oversight in fake awards history. Big Papi is upset, and rightfully so.

(GIF via @theScore)

– Ryan

Steve Carell and Leslie Mann Need Some French Toast

Judd Apatow and his real life wife Leslie Mann attended the Anchorman 2 premiere last night, and he caught Steve Carell and his wife catching up on some unfinished business.

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Let’s hope it involved getting some fucking French toast.

– Ryan

Hey Colorado: Smoke All the Weed You Want, But Don’t You Dare Let Your Kid Kiss a Girl on the Cheek

Source – A 6-year-old boy has been suspended from a Colorado school for kissing a girl on the cheek.

School officials in Canon City are accusing Hunter Yelton of sexual harassment and they want it on his school record.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry”

– Hunter Yelton

The boy’s mother tells KRDO-TV her son was suspended once before for kissing the girl and had disciplinary problems, but the girl did not object to being kissed. She told the station that the two children like each other.

“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” Yelton told the station. 

A School District RE-1 official says the repeat offenses meet the school policy definition of sexual harassment and they hope the tough standards will force the boy to change his behavior.

Yelton’s mother, Jennifer Saunders, wants sexual harassment removed from his record.

“I’m going to stand up and fight for him because that’s not the case, that’s not what happened at all,” she told the station.

 

This is the weirdest story I’ve ever read. Are they really charging this kid with sexual harassment? Is this real life? Seriously what the hell is happening in Colorado, or America in general for that matter. A 6 year old boy kissed a girl in his class on the cheek. Better call the National Guard. Better yet, let’s register this kid as a sex offender, lock him up for life and throw away the key. The worst part of this whole story is that the school is making poor Hunter feel like he did something wrong. And for whatever reason, the local news station actually took a statement from a 6 year old like he’s going on trial. When you suspend little kids for being little kids, you shouldn’t wonder why they grow up to be lunatics. This whole story reaffirms my belief that we might actually be living in a bizarro Matrix world. No other explanation for something like this actually happening.

– Ryan

Apparently 2 Year Olds Are Getting Gastric Bypass Surgery Now

(Really?)  “A morbidly obese two-year-old has become the  youngest person in the world to undergo a gastrecstomy – where most of the  stomach is cut away.

The parents of the toddler from Saudi Arabia  – who weighed more than 5st and had a Body Mass Index of 41 – sought help  because he suffered severe breathing problems while asleep.

Two attempts to control his weight by dieting  failed, wrote his surgeons in an article in the International Journal of Surgery  Case Reports.

Gastrectomy is a drastic alternative to  gastric band or bypass surgery – none of which would ever be carried out on  pre-teen children in the UK.

When he first presented to an endocrinologist  at 14 months the toddler weighed 3st 4lb, but after dieting for four months his  weight increased to more than 4st.

The doctors from Prince Sultan Military  Medical City at Riyadh were unable to ascertain whether the child’s parents had  stuck to the diet.”

Operation: A morbidly obese two-year-old has become the youngest person in the world to undergo bariatric surgery

So this is where we are at as a society. 2 year olds are now getting gastric bypass surgery. 2 year olds! Yeah this kid is enormous but he’s 2, which means he can’t do anything on his own. The kid can barely stand in the pictures. You’re telling me his parents can’t get this kid on some type of diet? Maybe don’t eat 40 meals a day, get some exercise, basically anything but surgery. To be honest I have some selfish motives here. This kid’s left arm is awesome. He is the Michelin Man reincarnated and I love it. Almost defies logic how fat his arm is. Saudi Arabia really knows how to ruin this guys day.

– Ryan

P.S. “Morbidly obese” are the two most accurate words in the English language. When I think of the words morbidly obese I now have the mental image of this two year old in my head.

Video Vault: Episode 2

Was there an episode one? I’m not sure.  But here is another gem from my video vault. Enjoy!

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