It’s MLB All Star week, so we decided to cater our monster blog to one of the more exciting competitions: Home Run Derby. A sometimes forgotten but key element in the Home Run Derby is the man assigned to pitch to each participant. Sometimes they’re the player’s dad, sometimes they’re the player’s coach; what the Average Nobodies might lack in baseball skill and overall strength we make up for in creativity. That’s why we pulled out the big guns for our Home Run Derby pitchers:
This one was kind of a no brainer for me. I see the ball better off of righties, and Mo Vaughn was the greatest hitter with a dirty man’s beard of all time. Chances are Mo won’t throw too many strikes, but I’m a bad ball hitter so it ain’t no thing. My overall fear of not knowing where Mo is going to throw the ball will help me hit the most home runs possible. Not because it will motivate me, but because I’ll be defending my body and face against insane wildness. Also, “The Hit Dog” is one of my favorite baseball nicknames of all time, and any time you can bring an old school Sox player with you to the All Star game you have to do it. If I had 10 choices for who my pitcher would be, I’d pick Mo Vaughn ten times.
Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson
The guy feeding me the ball would have to be my favorite pitcher of all-time, Randy Johnson. Being a big guy with a strong left arm, Randy and I can relate. Even though he’s “big” in the fact that he’s tall and I’m “big” because I eat way too much Taco Bell; and the fact that he has a strong left arm because he’s was a MLB pitcher and I have a strong left arm because…well…other things. Even with those differences i’ve always had a connection with Randy. Even my nickname on my high school swim team was “The Big Unit”! Don’t ask me how I got it, because I actually still don’t get it. Tell me for one second that staring down the barrel of that mustache and mullet wouldn’t give me the strength to blast 100 balls into the cheap seats.
Heading into Game 6 of the World Series, Red Sox shortstop Stephen Drew was mired in a 4-for-50 postseason slump at the plate.
Drew had struck out 19 times.
While Drew probably heard the cries from fans critical as to why he was still in the lineup, he was actually unable to see them.
Apparently, Stephen Drew needs glasses.
According to Jon Heyman of CBSSports.com, Drew paid a visit to the eye doctor before Wednesday night’s Game 6 World Series clincher. Drew was fitted for contact lenses and coincidentally began making contact. Drew went 2 for 4 and hit a key home run that stretched Boston’s lead to 4-0.
Of course Boston won the game and the Series and Stephen Drew saw it all. Clearly.
Classic story. Star infielder can’t see, goes the whole season without glasses, and goes 4-50 in the post season with 19 strikeouts. Then, he gets contact lenses before game 6 of The World Series, smokes a home run, and goes 2-4.
Where have I seen a story like this before? Oh yeah….
Wild Thing was a slouch before those world famous spectacles.