The NBA and NHL playoffs are dominating the news waves right now, but soon enough baseball will be the only professional sport playing. While most MLB team names are boring, minor league baseball team names are out of this world entertaining. While we may not know any of the players, that isn’t going to stop us from admiring some of those sweet ass names.
Lehigh Valley Ironpigs
Anytime your team logo is a pig with a human body swinging a baseball bat and wearing metal cleats you have to root for them. That’s not just true for this monster blog, that’s a life rule. I might be going out on a limb here but the Ironpigs have to be the pride and joy of Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania. What else is there to do in Lehigh Valley anyway? I think there’s a winery close by? Maybe some ice cream shops? Rhode Island isn’t exactly the most exciting place in the world but at least we’re 30 minutes from the ocean at all times. If you get too bored you can just grab a 12er and drink some beers on the beach. But Lehigh has the Ironpigs. Ultimate trump card. Can’t wait to catch a few games this year*.
*Never talk about them again.
The Akron RubberDucks
Is this even a question? While scrolling through minor league teams on Wikipedia last night I didn’t even need to go past the first few to know that the Akron RubberDucks were the best team on the list. Let’s be honest here I don’t think there is much going on in Akron Ohio, so these guys must be celebrities to their hometown fans. People can’t keep their hands off the RubberDuckies. Poise, posture, and charm like you read about.
Look at these guys, just hanging out and having a good time. I’m not sure any AA team needs this many jerseys, but I would never hold it against them. Some teams have style, the RubberDucks have style.
Jonathan Banks must have grown up under power lines, either that or on the Death Star. I’m hoping the latter. Banks decided that he was going to run across Death Valley in a Darth Vader costume (ok, the Darth attire is a power move). But don’t worry, it was only 129 degrees when he did it…..wait? what? Jonathan classifies himself as a “heat runner”. Now i’m no runner, nothing close, but i’m pretty sure this is a classification he made up himself. That would be like me taking a bath with a toaster and calling myself an electrical swimmer. He has a death [Valley] wish and as shocking as the whole thing is he accomplished the feat in just shy of 7 minutes. I don’t know what the length of the run was, but at 129 degrees, I know i’m not lasting 45 seconds. Even though I think he is insane for doing this, I have to applaud a man for doing what makes him happy. May the force be with you, Jonathan Banks.
PS – This is his FOURTH time doing it. I bet if he goes for the unprecedented 5th time Denny’s will give him a free grandslam.