Blog Archives

The Greatest NBA Player of All Time (Dirk Nowtizki) Made a Special Appearance on Conan Last Night

I think it’s safe to say Dirk is the most beloved German in the history of Texas, and god damnit he deserves it. But I’ll save my Dirk speech for this Friday night when I’m 10 beers deep. Conan is doing this week’s shows live from Dallas, Texas, so naturally Dallas’s big sports star administered the “official” Dallas Citizenship Test to Conan. I like how Dirk especially got a kick out of the Tony Romo answer. If Romo came on he’d get booed out of the building and fumble his cue cards and accidentally break his neck trying to pick them up. Not the Great Nowitzski. All time pro. And now we know Dirk is destined to be a famous TV star after his playing days are over. Poise and wit like you read about it.

– Ryan

Craig Cobb Did Not Have the Best Veterans Day

“A self-proclaimed white supremacist underwent a DNA test to ‘prove’ his genetic heritage, only to be told on live television he was 86 per cent European – and 14 per cent of Sub-Saharan African heritage.

Sixty-two-year-old Craig Cobb claims he follows the ‘Creator’ which “favours racial awareness” and has been attempting to create a “white enclave” in North Dakota by quietly buying up land in the small town of Leith, despite anti-racism rallies and town meetings against his plans.

He submitted his DNA as part of host Trisha Goddard’s Race in America series, who gave him the results to a delighted audience, telling Cobb: “You have a little Black in you”. However, Cobb can be heard dismissing the results as “statistical noise” and refused to fist bump with the host.

Cobb, who lived in the town for a year before residents became aware of his agenda, has allegedly harassed the only bi-racial couple in the small community, leaving notes pinned to their door asking Sherrill Harper, who is married to African-American Bobby Harper: “What are you doing married to a negro?”, reported the Mail Online.

Cobb has also placed a sign reading “Village of the Damned” on one of his plots of land, accompanied by a red swastika.”

Craig Cobb must feel pretty stupid. Rule number one of being a White supremacist has to be to make sure you’re not black. I feel like that defeats the whole point. Who’s going to listen to a white supremacist that is 14% black? At that point you’re just being ignorant. Harassing bi racial couples and placing swastikas on your land probably seems like a bad idea right about now. My question is where does Craig Cobb go from here? The black population hates you because you’re an ignorant piece of shit. You’re white supremacist buddies can’t be seen joshing around with a black guy. The only move is to fade into bolivian and hope the world forgets you. We all thought Dave Chappelle was crazy for suggesting such a crazy idea. Looks like he was ahead of the curve.

– Ryan