Generally speaking, breaking and entering isn’t something one should ever do.
That said, if you’re dead set on burglarizing a house, you’d be well-advised to make sure it isn’t currently owned and occupied by a professional ax thrower who goes to sleep with a tomahawk by her bed.
Robin Irvine, a pro ax thrower who lives in Hemet, Calif., taught two men that lesson the hard way early Saturday morning, when they sneaked in through her window while she was sleeping. She woke up when one of the men tried to take the watch off her wrist, and proceeded to scream, startling the men.
She then grabbed her trusty bedside tomahawk, and — wearing only her underwear and a T-shirt — chased both men out of her house. She says she could’ve easily paralyzed one of the men but chose not to, telling the Los Angeles Times it took everything she had not to throw her ax. -HuffPost
WHAT IDIOTS! Burglary 101 right here. Looks like this duo forgot to do their research, or if they did do their research they are horrible at doing research. When it comes to breaking into homes I am no expert, but I would like to think that if I ever hit rock bottom and started robbing homes, I wouldn’t do something like this. “Ok, Matt, probably shouldn’t break into this house. Robin Irvine lives there, and she would carve my ass up with a hatchet if I was to try anything funny.” And that’s it, i’d move onto the next house.
Just to make everything worse one of the guys tries to take the watch off of her wrist? Really? There is nothing else in the house you want more than her watch? That’s just greed and stubbornness right there. Unless the other guy dared him to do it. In that case you snatch that watch right off her wrist, no questions asked. Everyone knows you’re not a man if you turn down a good dare. Although you should probably remove all the hatchets from the room before you do.
Even Burt Maclin knows that.
When real-life Walter White is sought on a meth charge, it’s a story. When Leonard Dickman gets arrested on a public indecency charge, it’s a story. So when Conor P. Fudge gets caught on camera swiping cake from an ice cream shop, you can bet your rocky road it’s a story.
Fudge, 25, was allegedly caught stealing cakes and containers of ice cream from a Cold Stone Creamery in Iowa City, the Gazette reported Monday.
The store owner gave police the scoop on Fudge, saying he was employed there until late August and used an unauthorized key to get inside after hours on Sept. 11 and 12, according to the Associated Press. The tape also allegedly shows him taking moneyout of a safe, the Iowa City Press-Citizen reported.
The combined value of the desserts and the money was about $500. He’s charged with burglary and theft.
Ok, now I have heard it all. A sweet tooth wielding robber has the last name of “Fudge”? This cannot be real life. They did not put a mug shot up of Mr. Fudge, but this is what I imagine he looks like.
At least he was smart enough to hit the safe on the way out too. My question is, with a name like fudge, he had to have been in there solely for the cake and scram. Right? The money was just a bonus for him.
PS- How hard do you hit rock bottom that you steal cake and ice cream?