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Madeira, Portugal Unveiled Their New Boner-ific Statue For Hometown Star Cristiano Ronaldo

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Have yourself a day, Cristiano. Serious question: is there anyone who loves themselves more than Cristiano Ronaldo? Not only is he only 29 years and still plays soccer, but between his junk and the fohawk this is one of the most disturbing statues in history. Maybe the guy is well endowed, but is that really necessary to include it for people who now have to see this statue every day? If I lived in Madeira I would be extremely upset that I had to look at Cristiano Ronaldo’s statuesque bulge every day. A regular statue is one thing; like I said before, it’s kind of weird because he’s so young and still playing. But depicting your package bulging out of your shorts on an 11 foot statue is a little much. Actually it’s a lot much. Stick to kicking the ball and slaying supermodels, Cristiano. Leave the statues to the pro’s.

– Ryan

H/T NY Daily News

Alan Markovitz With the Power Move of the Century

(Source) “A Michigan man has erected a giant bronze  sculture of a hand with its middle finger raised in the direction of his  neighbor – who also happens to be his ex-wife.

Alan Markovitz, 59, a Detroit strip-club  entrepreneur, erected the 12-foot-high, spot-lit sculpture in the backyard of  his lakefront Orchard Lake home.”

Flipped: The sculpture stands on the back porch of Alan Markovitz's home

This is kind of awesome/insane. Nothing says your over your ex wife like moving next door and building a giant bronze statue of a middle finger facing her house. People can hate on Alan Markovitz all they want. I like his style. He’s just a simple strip club owner who never, ever let’s a grudge go.

– Ryan

P.S. I don’t think it’s possible to get any creepier, Alan.

Stripped bare: Markovitz bought the house directly next door to his ex-wife but says he's totally over her

The Most Dedicated Person in the World Cut An Arm Off of a Ronald Reagan Statue in Poland

(Source) — Police were searching on Wednesday for a vandal who damaged a bronze statue of Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II in the Polish city of Gdansk by cutting off one arm of the former U.S. president and stealing it.

The statue was unveiled just last year to honor Reagan and the Polish-born pope, who were both widely credited with helping Poland topple communism 24 years ago.

The vandalism in the Baltic port city was discovered on Tuesday, setting off the search for the perpetrator, said Lucyna Rykowska, a spokeswoman for Gdansk police.

The statue was inspired by an Associated Press photograph taken by Scott Stewart during the pope’s second visit to the United States in 1987, and honors Reagan’s support for Poland’s struggle to end decades of communism.

People interviewed by Poland’s TVN24 deplored the vandalism and stressed the popularity of the statue in the park where it is located, saying visitors often leave flowers there.

The damage was initially estimated at more than $30,000, but the artist who made the statue said it could be repaired within weeks for far less.

On July 17, 2007, Polish President Lech Kaczynski presented his nation’s highest distinction, the Order of the White Eagle, to Nancy Reagan on behalf of her late husband.

Poland also has a statute of Reagan in Warsaw, and a roundabout in the city of Wroclaw has been named after him.”

In this Oct. 1, 2013 photo passersbys are seen looking at a former president Ronald Reagan statue with a severed arm in a park in Gdansk, Poland. The bronze statue is a larger than life rendering of Reagan and the Polish born Pope John Paul II, inspired by an AP photograph taken by Scott Stewart during John Paul's visit to the US in 1987 and honor's Reagan's support for Poland's struggle to end communism. The police are searching for the vandal who cut the arm off.

This person either really hates Ronald Reagan or really loves bronze statue arms. I have to imagine this took forever to pull off. Bronze statues don’t just fall apart. They’re made of bronze. My money is on bronze statue loving. I mean Reagan died 9 years ago. If the culmination of any plan involves chopping an arm off a bronze statue you should probably revaluate your life. On the other hand, if you really love bronze statues and your putting together a statue of your own using body parts of famous bronze statues from around the world, who better to pick for a left arm than Ronald Reagan? Movie star? Check. President of the United States of America? Check. Knocked the Berlin Wall? Triple check. I just hope one day this person shows off his masterpiece, Reagan’s left arm and all.

– Ryan

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