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You’ll Be Fined $500 If You Live in Rhode Island & You Don’t Rake Your Leaves Because Everyone Is Apparently Insane

Wait, What – Pine needles belong in the forest, not on a neighbor’s lawn, according to a Rhode Island lawmaker who wants to compel residents to trim unruly twigs and trees.

The state Senate passed a bill Tuesday that would require homeowners to prune their shrubbery and trees or face a $500 fine if plant litter lands on someone else’s property.

The bill’s sponsor, Democratic Sen. Frank Ciccone, said he introduced the legislation after listening to concerns about pine trees from residents in his Silver Lake district of Providence.

Pine trees are “nice in the forest, nice in certain areas, but they shed these pine needles and sap onto adjacent vehicles and driveways,” he said.

Senators voted 26-6 to pass the bill that would require homeowners to maintain and control any debris created by a tree or shrubs if it causes a nuisance to an abutting property owner.

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It’s nice to see that in times like these, where the American people might have to choose between Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton for President of the god damn United States, that RI politicians are focusing on the important things. The important things, in this particular situation, are pine needles and leaves. What’re we really doing here? Is this the apocalypse? I always thought it would be fireballs and chaos, but maybe it’s Donald Trump as President and getting fined if you don’t rake your leaves. Who’re the people who are REALLY complaining to politicians about pine needles? They’re not toxic waste. If you don’t like them on your lawn, pick them up. If you can’t muster the strength and energy to pick them up, hire a landscaper. I’m not going to pretend to be into politics and list a bunch of issues that are more important than this, but when pine needles a priority, there is something wrong.


Saxby Chambliss, The Wordsmith

Saxby Chambliss has done it again. The senior U.S. Senator from Georgia who so eloquently bashed gay marriage back in March by stating “I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one” is back in the news, this time for comments he made during a Senate Armed Forces Committee. While addressing the committee, Chambliss stated “The young folks who are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22 or 23. Gee whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur. So we’ve got to be very careful how we address it on our side”. In Mr. Chambliss’s defense, he did reprimand the militarys lack of action on this issue which has clearly spiraled out of control. When the man in charge of the Air Force’s sexual assaualt prevention program is ARRESTED FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT, I think its time for a change. I hate to talk politics, mainly because its a never ending argument that ends up with both sides sticking their feet in the mud, but the fact that a senior United States Senator is making these kind of statements is alarming. I support gay marrriage, but I absolutely understand that some people feel differently. However, “I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one” is not an acceptable argument to debuke gay marriage. While most of his 6 minute speech at the committee hearing was positive, even the inclusion of the word hormones in a sexual assualt hearing is ridiculous. If these comments were overheard at a bar or a baseball game, we could chalk it up to ignorance. Saxby Chambliss has served two terms as Senator of Georgia. His stance on issues affect this country, and thats scary to me.

America is great. It provides its people rare freedoms that arent afforded to the majority of this world. With that said, America is rotten, and it starts at the top, with both parties to blame. If the top of the tree is poisoned, it will eventually trickle down and poison the entire tree, and the entire tree in this analogy is our society. Saxby Chambliss is retiring after his current term. If only the resolution were that easy.

– Ryan

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