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Pizza Rescuer, We Salute You

We Salute You

A cheese pizza knight…

Harmless water fight to you and me, right? Wrong. Look at the table. Covered in full-sized pies. Not only are people going to get wet, but the food will be ruined! Nobody likes a soggy slice of pie. Enter our crusty, cheesey savior. She immediately steps into action throwing her own safety to the wind and grabbing as she can carry. Thanks to her when the great water fight of 2014 comes to a stop, slices will be waiting for everyone. She is the hero those people deserve, but not the one it needs right now. She’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A cheese pizza knight.

Matt

Dr. Oz Might Actually Be a Super hero

(Source) TV personality Dr Mehmet Oz has pulled a  woman from her crumpled car after a head-on collision – saving her just minutes  before the vehicle rolled backwards into a ravine.

His quick thinking on Saturday came three  months after he ran to the aid of a British tourist whose foot was severed by a  New York City taxi cab that lost control and hurtled towards her.

And that incident occurred just days after Dr  Oz, wearing a red superhero cape, was pictured helping a man who collapsed  beside him during a 5k run in Salt Lake City, Utah.

On Saturday, the doctor, who said he must have ‘bad karma’ when he travels because of the number of accidents, rushed to the woman who crashed in lower Bucks County in Philadelphia at 1pm.

Dr. Oz also made headlines back in August when  he witnessed a cab crashing into 23-year-old tourist Sian Green as she ate a  hotdog with a friend near to his Manhattan television studio.

The cab hurtled into her after losing control  and her foot was severed in the accident. She required an amputation and now  walks using crutches.

His publicist told Philly.com that Dr. Oz  rushed to the scene, where passersby were already helping, and worked to keep  everyone calm while medics arrived.
And just days before that accident,  he also helped a man, Ken Roosa, who  collapsed next to him at the finish line of a 5K race in Utah due to dehydration  and stress. Race TV footage showed Dr. Oz, who hosted the event and was dressed in a red  superhero cape, kneeling on the pavement to assist the 53-year-old Ohio  man.

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I can’t think of another explanation except that Dr. Oz is an actual super hero. Normal people don’t save victims of a car accident while wearing a cape. That’s some super hero shit. If Dr. Oz is in fact a super hero, it seems as if his kryptonite is terrible timing. He always shows up after the damage has been done. If someone could just get him a watch or something he’d be an unstoppable force. Doctor/TV host by day, car accident super hero by night.

– Ryan

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