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I Just Signed Up For a Mini Triathlon – Time To Get Training



I’m not sure what I just got myself into. I just registered for a .5 mile swim, 10 mile bike, and 4 mile run, triathlon. To start off let me tell you that I am in no kind of shape to even WATCH a event like this. Last weekend when I was walking about NYC I needed to take a half hour break so I didn’t die.  I hope to change that over the course of the next few months and by august dominate* this event! I have experience biking and swimming so those pieces of the event will require the least amount of training for me. However, the running, even a meek 4 miles, is going to be a beast.

Here is how I see my run training going

Wish me some luck.


Stay tuned for a before weigh-in/fit test.  That should be interesting.

*Finish without collapsing.

I Looked Up “Insane” in the Dictionary and Here’s What I Found

Joanna Rohrback invented Prancercise – “A springy, rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse’s gait” – back in 1989, but it never caught on. -Huff Post

“Never caught on”?…Oh? You don’t fucking say?  The only people that would ever create something like this ate paint chips as a child.  If you do this, please admit yourself into the nearest padded room.  That way I don’t have to track you down and do it myself. Also, find me the composer of that music!  I assume he got into porn after this.


P.S. Anyone else think this lady had a love affair with a horse?

P.S.S. I Spy Camel Toe!

Kenny Rackers, Making America Proud From 4,000 Miles Away

There are American sports heroes and then there is Kenny Rackers.  Kenny Rackers, a small town kid from Colorado Springs who a had a big dream.  His dream, win the 200 year old Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling Contest (which an American had never done before).  Just in case you have never heard of this event let me paint you a picture. The event is held every year at Cooper’s Hill in the UK.  Contestants start at the top of this extremely steep hill and chase a cheese wheel down it. First one to the bottom to capture the cheese is the winner.  This event is so dangerous that in 2010 it was officially shut down.  However, this didn’t stop rebels from all over Europe, and the world, from continuing the odd dairy tradition.  This is where Kenny Rackers comes in…

Kenny, an American collegiate athlete, and had been training for this race from the day he put it on his bucket list in college.  He is a physical specimen to say the least.   He traveled 4,600 miles so that he could be crowned as the first American to ever capture the cheese.  But there is more to Kenny than just cheese wheels, America flag jumpsuits, and big hills.  He is using his experience at the cheese race to inspire others to get off their asses and achieve their goals!  To stop the excuses that you create for yourself and to go out and DO!  And that is just what Kenny Rackers did on the 27th of May, 2013.  The cheese was released, and Kenny was off.  Down the hill he ran, fell, and stumbled until he reached the bottom to capture the cheese for AMERICA!


Look at that jumpsuit! He knows he’s better than everyone on that hill and he is just rubbing their faces in it.
(Click here for the full video)

The single greatest thing I love about America is our drive to be the best.  Kenny Rackers had a dream, and what did he do? He went out and absolutely crushed it.  Bravo, Kenny.

P.S. There is also a race at the beginning of the day… up the hill.  Guess who won.

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