Does this look the the type of person you want to fly in your spaceship? NO. The answer, Mr. Branson, is NO. This kid has been all over the news lately. Banging Brazilian whores, punching DJ’s in the face, and even having his security detail carry him around the Great Wall. Is this the type of person you want representing your company on Virgin Galactic? Consider me for the spot on the shuttle and I will make you proud. Here’s a quick recap of my credentials.

• Bay saver
• Class president
• Blogger
• Amateur comedian
• Black belt
• Professional fake wrestler
• Movie quoter
• Well-dressed (not in this picture, but i do own a suit)
• I can shotgun a beer in <2 seconds

If that doesn’t scream “get this kid into space”, then I don’t know what does.

-MattyV