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So Many People Are Pooping On An Illinois Bike Path That They’ve Created A ‘Stop Pooping’ Sign

WHYStop pooping on the bicycle path.

That’s what joggers in Hampton, Ill., are being asked to do.

Officials are so fed-up with seeing human feces on the popular route — allegedly from a serial pooper — that they’ve put up signs, KWQC reported.

“Stop pooping on bike path,” read two new placards placed along the trail.

Some have speculated that an animal was responsible for the disgusting droppings over the last two years.

But the village’s Public Works supervisor Scott McKay said it was definitely a human, according to NBC Chicago.

“When the individual does it, it does it right in the lane. It’s not on the center line. It’s not off on the grass,” he told KWQC.


This is kind of concerning, and it’s also not the first article I’ve seen on a serial pooper. Is this a legitimate problem in our society now? Are there really multiple people taking a shit on people’s cars and on bike paths? I understand that there are some wackos out there and we have to deal with peculiar behavior, but I can honestly say I never thought it would come to this. People shitting out in public is not a thing a society should have to deal with. Poop indoors, and if you can’t, poop somewhere secluded. We already have to deal with bird, dog and duck shit; human shit should not be on that list. If I was ever on that path and I stepped in HUMAN shit I would be devastated. I’ve stepped in dog shit before, and it kind of pisses you off, but we make dogs go the bathroom outside, so you can’t really blame them. Even domesticated dogs poop in backyards. It’s their domain, so you deal with it. But no person should ever have to dodge human shit during their everyday life. That’s where I draw the line. If for some reason the person or persons who are shitting on the bike path are reading this, please stop. Human shit on a bike path (or anywhere else) is something we shouldn’t have to worry about.

– Ryan


Jose Canseco, Maybe The Answer is the Simplest of All.


Classic. What’s the best way to avoid drowning? Don’t get in the fucking water. Hey Jose, i’m not sure what the hell is happening at your place, but is this really a question to pose on twitter? Like you’re ever going to get back a serious answer.


Everyone Poops

Ok so some asshole at a Houston Astros game decided to he was going to get a vendor fired for simply relieving himself in the bathroom. This guy decides he’s going to film this poor employee pooping! Oh and I guess it needs to be mentioned the vendor brought his product into the stall with him, sno cones. Semantics if you ask me but this fan decides he’s going to rat on the guy and get him fired. Well guess what asshole fan, everyone poops; Taro Gomi, the world’s foremost authority in dispensing of fecal matter, wrote a book about it, ever heard of a book?


(A great read by the way, very enlightening while keeping the humor in the subject.)

Anyways I guess in order to maintain professional, unbias journalism I have to include a picture of the incident.


Congratulations Astros fan, you’ve help to raise America’s quarterly unemployment rate.

All that being said, I’ll probably never order a sno cone again. Or a fudgesicle for that matter…for obvious reasons.

P.S. Poop humor is still funny.

-Sean Lite-

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