The words “Polar Vortex” have been tossed around for last week or so, and to be honest it scares me. I have no idea what a “Polar Vortex” is, but I don’t want to stick around and find out. One minute i’m sitting on my couch watching reruns of “Three’s Company”, the next i’m being hurled into oblivion by a giant ice-storm-tornado-hail hurricane (If that’s even what it is).

This poor dog had no idea what hit him. Probably just out taking a piss and BAM, Polar Votex got his ass. Frozen solid right on the spot. Is there even a defense for Polar Vortexes?

Rain = umbrella/hood.
Snow = Winter hat.
Tornado = Bath tub
High winds = Windbreaker

I am not going to be the one to stand around while a Polar Vortex, with no weaknesses, comes out of nowhere and leaves me like a human Klondike bar, no way. Until my flight leaves for the equator I will be held up, and blogging, from an undisclosed position.

(Like I’m going to give up my position so the Polar Vortex can find me. 10 steps ahead man. 10 steps.)

-Matt