Blog Archives

Obama Brought Luther, His Anger Translator, to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner

This is my favorite part of a President’s term in the White House. The part of his tenure when shit doesn’t matter anymore. It’s like those last few days of lent when you eat meat on a Friday and you’re like “eh….close enough”. Obama is loosening up and going for broke, basically turning the corespondents dinner into an episode of “Live from the White House it’s Saturday Night Live”. Do you thing Obama, your basically out of office already.

-Matt

Barack Obama Hates Christopher Columbus

 

Obama visits Rhode Island College and everyone all of a sudden hates Columbus Day; this, plus more, in this weeks Twitter News Weekly!

James Lincoln Collier Proving Once Again You Can’t Trust People With Three Names

Oh dearThe WHAT in the White House?

Well-heeled West Villagers will be in for a rude surprise when they open the latest copy of their local newspaper and see the headline, “The N—-r in the White House” — except without the dashes.

The shocking headline in the WestView News is a reference to President Obama and sits at the top of Page 15 above an opinion piece that criticizes what it calls the anti-black “racism” of far-right voters.

The convoluted screed by author and journalist James Lincoln Collier is actually a pro-Obama piece — but that didn’t stop West Villagers from decrying the printing of the slur.

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Ah. Well this escalated quickly. Firstly, this goes back to my theory that you can’t trust people with three names. John Wilkes Booth. Mark David Chapman. James Lincoln Collier. The first two were assassinators. The third is an 86 year old white male who thinks it’s OK to put the N word in a newspaper headline describing our current President. You’d think someone who knew he was going to run a piece that would receive this much backlash would have a better excuse than “well I was nice to him in the article, though”. I don’t care if you nominated him for the Human of the Year award, you still called him the N word! In what universe is that OK? Maybe on Mars, where I heard they’re horrible racists. But on planet Earth, you gotta be better than that. Gotta be.

– Ryan

If this Doesn’t Beat Ellen’s Selfie then I Don’t Know What to Believe Anymore

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The boys are BACK.

-Matt

The Atlah World Missionary Church Seems to Have a Solid Grasp on Reality

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Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man.

There are few things I loathe more than a hateful sign with bad grammar. Is this Atlah church only warning one black woman? Or black women in general? Maybe next time pick a member of your clergy that went to middle school and assign them to sign duty. And poor Barack Obama. I’m not saying he’s the greatest president in the world but accusing someone of unleashing homosexual demons on his own citizens is a pretty horrible accusation. If you want to raise taxes or cut military spending be my guest, but you leave those homosexual demons out of it. It’s sad that a group of people like this church exist, but I guess that’s the world we live in. Just watch out for those homosexual demons, guys. I heard they can be persuasive.

– Ryan

P.S. “The Blood of Jesus” is the least catchy name of all time.

Obama Taking a Selfie with PM David Cameron is Top News on USA Today…

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“Oh-M-Gee, you guys! Let’s take a selfie!”
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-Matt

PS – This was at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service.

PSS- Michelle couldn’t care less about selfies.