Blog Archives
Classic Google Search “Mixup”
Michele Catalano was looking for information online about pressure cookers. Her husband, in the same time frame, was Googling backpacks. Wednesday morning, six men from a joint terrorism task force showed up at their house to see if they were terrorists. Which prompts the question: How’d the government know what they were Googling?
A family spending some down time on good ‘ol Google get pinned for being terrorists. I’ve seen this story 100 times…wait…no I haven’t. Ok, this is getting ridiculous. You’re going to sit there and tell me this is the best way to catch a terrorist? By looking at what people search on Google? Let me tell something, you are going to get some pretty strange combinations out there. I mean, imagine doing this in a college neighborhood? Google search history: How to make Ramen Noodles, porn, porn, wikipedia, porn, spark notes, porn, porn, wwe, espn, porn. All you would find are porn addicted plagiarizers. Government, breathe in deep, and take another crack at it.
-MattyV
PS- To test this out I am going to have my roommate search “places to buy harpoon guns” while I search “endangered species habitats” in the other room. PITA is going to burn my house down.
PSS- Search history on a friends’ phone (no lie): “Danny Trejo’s net worth, Miley Cyrus tits”. One right after the other. What do you think’s going on at his house? Crack that code.
The Government Knows What You Had For Dinner? And You’re Mad?
You don’t Fucking say?
To start off, this post isn’t directed at everyone. You know who you are.
The hot button issue over that last month has been the fact that the government snoops into your hard drive. Now everyone has gotten there collective panties in a bunch over that fact that the government is looking at pictures of your dog. Me personally? I couldn’t care less. Oh what…is Obama looking at my search history full of porn and Hubble telescope pictures? Go for it dude, you look like you would enjoy both. If you are on the internet you are giving up your “privacy” to anybody on the other end; including, SHOCKINGLY, the government. I don’t care if you have all your privacy settings on and you keep your password locked in a box at the bottom of Lake Tahoe, someone is looking at your check-ins to Pink Berry. (You love frozen yogurt, admit it already. No one is buying your “too cool” attitude.) Listen, you might think you’re hot shit, but if you believe for one minute the oval office is passing around your twitter feeds for pics of you in your bikini, you are a bigger idiot than I thought. Clearly all this BS that is leaking is for protection, and for anyone who thinks different I can show you a boat to the North Pole. There is no internet there so no one will spy on you…except for polar bears, those guys will tear your ass UP! Me? I am going to continue to post: pictures of food, song lyrics, motivational quotes, dumb pictures of my dumb friends, and occasionally good blog posts. I have nothing to hide! Obama, I know your reading right now so I am putting out a challenge to you, 1v1 only submissions and pinfalls.
Your move Pres.
-MattyV
P.S. Don’t lie, you love that the government knows what you’re doing, you pervs!
P.S.S. If I die, someone please take a bat to my iMac. My browser history would be too confusing to explain.
