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Donald Sterling Just Got His Harshest Punishment Yet – He’s Banned From the Bunny Ranch in Vegas

PuppiesDonald Sterling is not only banned for life from the Los Angeles Clippers and the NBA, a Nevada brothel owner also wants nothing to do with him.

Dennis Hof has banned Sterling for life from ever entering the doors of the Bunny Ranch near Carson City, Nevada, and any of his six other brothels in the state.

“A lot of NBA players come here to party,” Hof told The Huffington Post. “Out of respect to them, we have banned Sterling from coming here.”

Hof says his sense of confidentiality prohibits him from confirming or denying if Sterling has ever visited his brothels.

“I can tell you this: Johnny Buss, one of the owners of the Los Angeles Lakers, and I have had a dual birthday party at the Bunny Ranch for the last 18 years, so a lot of NBA people have been here,” he said.

Hof’s stand against Sterling isn’t only in support of the basketball players who’ve had to deal with the billionaire’s alleged racism over the years.

“At any given time, 20 to 23 percent of the prostitutes here are African-American,” Hof said. “And they’re smoking hot. Some of them were crying this morning so we’re doing this for them as well. We don’t need racists or bigots at the Bunny Ranch.”

Sterling isn’t the first high-profile person forbidden to partake in Hof’s garden of earthly delights.

“We banned the ‘Duck Dynasty’ guys. Those guys are the biggest homophobic assholes and they make their living killing animals,” Hof said. “We’ve also banned Michael Vick. We don’t want him here. I couldn’t guarantee his safety from the girls. They love animals.”

Sterling may be persona non grata at Hof’s brothel, but his estranged girlfriend, V. Staviano, now has a free lifetime pass.

“She needs to meet some women who can satisfy her more than any man could,” Hof said.

F Me

Now it’s getting real. Banned from the NBA, $2.5 million fine blah blah blah. Banned from the Bunny Ranch, home of the Cat House TV show, the best TV show ever? That’s some ice cold shit. How is a man supposed to live without the Bunny Ranch? I’ve never been there but what’s not to like. Hot girls walking around half naked willing to do whatever the hell it is you want to do, and it’s all legal because you’re in Vegas. This is almost a fate worse than death. Just knowing for the rest of your natural born days that you can’t go to the Bunny Ranch. Pack it up, Don. It’s over.

– Ryan

Leave It To Hookers To Save Americas Economy

(Source) Recession-sensitive hookers at Nevada’s brothels are offering customers deep discounts — and promising more “bang for the buck.”

“All the girls are independent contractors, self-employed, and some of them are absolutely reducing prices,” Dennis Hof, who runs seven Nevada brothels, told The Post.

Hof owns the desert sex emporium Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nev., where one employee said she’s game.

“I offer a lot more specials and discounts and incentives for people to come in to see me,” Bunny Ranch prostitute Brooke Taylor, 32, told Bloomberg News. “People are looking for deals.”

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Just when you think America is falling apart, hookers come in and save the day. The Oxford dictionary may be trying to destroy us from within but hookers in Nevada will have none of that. In a time of crisis, we no longer look to politicians or community leaders, we look to those brave women who sexually satisfy men no other woman can bare to touch. I can’t think of a situation that fits the saying “more bang for your buck” better than these hookers with a heart of a gold.

– Ryan

P.S. Brooke Taylor needs to work on her prostitute name. You’re in the big leagues now honey.