In case you need a back story, Salma Hayek is a pretty famous actress who married a god damn French Billionaire, Francois-Henri Pinault. What did she do with her billions of dollars? She built an animal sanctuary, created an Instagram account and pretty much is making the world a better place. The videos above include her thanking the chickens she has for giving her fresh eggs for breakfast, hugging a llama that was born in her sanctuary and eating a cricket because she has billions of dollars and she’ll do whatever the hell she pleases. If I’m being honest, she’s my new favorite person on Instagram. Salma Hayek has always been easy on the eyes, and now that llamas and conversations with chickens are being thrown in the mix, my heart is exploding with joy. There’s also a 100% chance I purchase a llama now.
HOLLY TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — A llama spotted wandering for nearly six months in Michigan has been captured and is getting a new home.Mlive.com reports (http://bit.ly/I8wtPD ) the llama that Kathy Kuzma calls “Dolly” was found Saturday in Oakland County’s Holly Township, about 40 miles northwest of Detroit.Kuzma has been on the lookout for the animal, which had been wandering her neighborhood. On Saturday, Lisa Davenport came to Kuzma’s house to get a look at the llama. Davenport has three llamas of her own along with other animals at a Michigan farm.
The women walked into a field to give the llama some food, and Dolly stood still instead of being her usual skittish self. They then coaxed the llama into a barn.
Davenport plans to take the llama back to her own farm. – Huff Post
So much for that, Dolly. I was really pulling for you too. It’s a shame that your sense of direction isn’t better because all you needed to do was go north and you would have escaped. See, I know what Dolly was after…freedom. Freedom from the armpit of America: Detroit. And even though her farm might not be in the city limits, just being that close to hell would be enough to make a sane llama lose her shit. If it wasn’t for your love of food you might still be on the run. Use that as motivation next time you run away.