I am just now watching this deposition video. It makes my blood absolutely boil. I could barely get through the entire thing. It took every muscle in my body to not try to jump through the computer screen and choke this dope. I have no words for what I am feeling right now. It would be completely out of character of me to boo someone in public, but I would break character for him. The minute i spotted him I would stop dead in my tracks and boo the shit out of him.
Does this look the the type of person you want to fly in your spaceship? NO. The answer, Mr. Branson, is NO. This kid has been all over the news lately. Banging Brazilian whores, punching DJ’s in the face, and even having his security detail carry him around the Great Wall. Is this the type of person you want representing your company on Virgin Galactic? Consider me for the spot on the shuttle and I will make you proud. Here’s a quick recap of my credentials.
- Bay saver
- Class president
- Amateur comedian
- Black belt
- Professional fake wrestler
- Movie quoter
- Well-dressed (not in this picture, but i do own a suit)
- I can shotgun a beer in <2 seconds
If that doesn’t scream “get this kid into space”, then I don’t know what does.
This kid gets to go into space and now he’s chillin’ with the cup?! First off dude, please get dressed. You’re meeting the Stanley Cup, one of the most prestigious awards (the most prestigious is the WWE title) not going to a damn rock concert! Have some class, there are guys who touched that trophy that could snap you in two…with just their beards! Whats that finger your holding up for? Is that the amount of times you want me to kick your ass? BECAUSE I”M HAPP……wow…ok..i’m sorry. That got a little out of hand. Bieber brings out the worst in me. Give The Cup a good scrub down after he’s done with it. Don’t wanna have that Bieber stink on it.
PS- Is that really a customized Blackhawks jersey in the background? What a piece of trash.
Justin Bieber is going to space.
God. Damnit. I was so full of hate. I felt alive for the first time in years. I despised Justin Bieber with the fire of a thousand subs. I even wrote a post about his demise a few weeks ago. The icing on the cake was his outfit at the Heat game on Monday. I was too full of joy to even write about it. I would have bet anything that he would fade into bolivian and we’d never have to hear that beautiful voice again. Wrong (Charlie Murphy voice). According to my super secret source (the internet) the Biebs is going to space. Not only is he going to space, but he’s going with one of the coolest people on the planet: Sir Richard Branson. While attempting to read the article, I learned that it will cost Bieber $250,000, a stiff price for 99% of the people who live on this planet. Then I continued to the read the article and learned that Justin Bieber made $55 million last year. If that doesn’t make you want to kill yourself then I don’t know what does. Moral of the story: Justin Bieber isn’t falling, he’s soaring. Stuffing any supermodel he wants, wiping his ass with $100 bills and flying to fucking outer space. Oh, and he’s 19. I will now go play in traffic.
P.S. If anything I’m scared for Justin Bieber. Once Matt finds out Bieb’s is going to space there won’t be a force in this world that will stop Matt from finding him and killing him.