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Californian James Wertz Punched & Choked His Girlfriend’s Pet Rabbit Over a Women’s Right Argument. Just Kidding He’s From Florida

Of CourseA Florida man is behind bars after allegedly punching and choking his girlfriend’s pet rabbit.

James Wertz, 28, was arrested June 27 in connection to an incident that started over an argument about women’s rights with his girlfriend, Dana Jongeward at their Boynton Beach home.

At one point, tempers flared and Wertz yelled that it was a man’s world, according to the police report.

While Jongeward hid in her bedroom to get away from Wertz, she claims one of her two pet rabbits screamed.

Jongeward came out and allegedly saw Wertz punching and choking one of her rabbits, a 9-month-old named “Bun Bun.” She told police she could see blood coming from the rabbit’s eyes.

“It was shocking, the most horrible thing I could walk out of bedroom to see,” she told the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

Wertz allegedly became enraged and threw her across the living room when she tried calling 911, according to a police report.

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Nothing like beating up a rabbit to get your July 4th weekend started. I write these posts so many times that I feel like I’m becoming immune to them. Oh some guy beat up his girlfriend’s rabbit after they argued over women’s rights? That makes sense. The only thing I’m mad about is that we’ll never get to hear James Wertz’s thoughts on women’s rights. You gotta figure a guy who beats up/chokes a rabbit is probably a very well spoken, sincere guy. He probably had a very rational opinion on women’s rights that naturally spawned into the attempted mutilation of a rabbit. Just another day in the Sunshine State.

– Ryan

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James Lincoln Collier Proving Once Again You Can’t Trust People With Three Names

Oh dearThe WHAT in the White House?

Well-heeled West Villagers will be in for a rude surprise when they open the latest copy of their local newspaper and see the headline, “The N—-r in the White House” — except without the dashes.

The shocking headline in the WestView News is a reference to President Obama and sits at the top of Page 15 above an opinion piece that criticizes what it calls the anti-black “racism” of far-right voters.

The convoluted screed by author and journalist James Lincoln Collier is actually a pro-Obama piece — but that didn’t stop West Villagers from decrying the printing of the slur.

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Ah. Well this escalated quickly. Firstly, this goes back to my theory that you can’t trust people with three names. John Wilkes Booth. Mark David Chapman. James Lincoln Collier. The first two were assassinators. The third is an 86 year old white male who thinks it’s OK to put the N word in a newspaper headline describing our current President. You’d think someone who knew he was going to run a piece that would receive this much backlash would have a better excuse than “well I was nice to him in the article, though”. I don’t care if you nominated him for the Human of the Year award, you still called him the N word! In what universe is that OK? Maybe on Mars, where I heard they’re horrible racists. But on planet Earth, you gotta be better than that. Gotta be.

– Ryan

Lebron James Had to Be Carried to the Bench During Last Night’s Game Because of Cramps

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Here’s the thing: cramps suck, especially for a basketball player like Lebron, who routinely plays 40-42 out of 48 minutes in a game. Add in the fact that the air conditioning broke and it was apparently 90 degrees inside the AT&T Center and I can understand you getting cramps in your legs. But come on. Game 1 of the NBA Finals, you’re going for a three peat and trying to get your team into the “greatest teams ever” discussion…and you leave the game with cramps. I’m rooting for the Heat to win. I no longer despise Lebron, because it’s clear he’s the best player on the planet and saying otherwise at this point in his career makes you look very, very stupid. No one can guard him, and he can guard ANYONE on the other team. What else do you want in a player? But situations like these make it really hard to defend him. How can one of, if not the best athlete in the world continually leave the game with cramps? It doesn’t seem possible that this can keep happening. Is he not hydrating himself? Are the trainers Texan spies? It really boggles my mind. I hope Lebron comes back strong Sunday and the Heat rally off four straight wins and we can get past this. But for now, bring on the Midol jokes. Lebron has cramps.

– Ryan

This Tweet is Why ESPN Sucks

 

So we’re not going to include Kevin Love or Kyle Lowry or the dozen or so other guys that DO have a triple double this year? I’m not one of those hockey fans who thinks they get boned with ESPN exposure because SportsCenter repeatedly shows a guy who is 7 feet tall dunk (even though its true). If hockey fans want to know why they’re on NBC Sports and not ESPN they should revolutionize (?) against their commissioner who locked out the sport twice in eight years. As far as ESPN is concerned, this is why people hate you. We know Lebron is great. We know he’s your bread and butter. But we don’t need to know he doesn’t have a triple double this year. Especially when there are a dozen people who you rarely cover who have accomplished that. Lebron doesn’t need to be on every list or every segment of your show. Would it kill you to get some Dirk stats up in there!?

– Ryan

Did You Guys Hear Lebron James Scored 61 Points Last Night?

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Lebron James really gets no respect. The guy goes out and puts on an unbelievable performance against one of the best teams in the NBA and it barely got any media coverage. ESPN basically ignored it. No major news outlets like the NY Post and Associated Press reported on it. It’s almost as if it never happened. This once again proves that Lebron is one of if not THE most underrated athlete of our time. I pray for the day when he gets the exposure he deserves.

– Ryan

Lebron James Channeling His Inner Philippe From Man in the Iron Mask

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Is Lebron trying to overthrow his evil twin brother or playing a basketball game? Because I honestly can’t tell. If Lebron wants to know why the whole world hates him, look no further than last night. A few years ago Lebron got a face boo boo while playing for the Cavs and wore a regular face mask. Now he gets the same boo boo and of course he has to make a spectacle of it. He knew the game was on TNT. He knew it would get national coverage. And now instead of the story being about his TEAM winning the game, SportsCenter will have 18 different segments dedicated to his mask. Puke city.

– Ryan

In Horrible News, James Cameron Wants to Make Three More Avatar’s

Source – WELLINGTON, New Zealand — James Cameron says his vision for his three “Avatar” sequels is to create a family epic in the mold of “The Godfather” that will introduce viewers to new cultures and go underwater on his fictional moon Pandora.

The director announced Monday he will be filming the sequels in New Zealand, where he shot the triple Academy Award-winning original. In an interview with The Associated Press, Cameron also talked about life on a New Zealand farm, where he’s growing walnuts and allowing his children to roam.

Cameron, 59, said he plans to release the first sequel in 2016, seven years after the release of “Avatar,” which has become the highest-grossing film in history with a box office take of nearly $2.8 billion.

He said a core team has been developing new software for the sequels even while he’s been gone on other projects, including 18 months planning a 7-mile descent to the deepest part of the ocean, which he successfully completed last year.

“It’s going to be a lot of new imagery and a lot of new environments and creatures across Pandora,” he said. “We’re blowing it out all over the place. At first I thought I was going to take it onto other worlds as well, in the same solar system, but it turned out not to be necessary. I mean the Pandora that we have imagined will be a fantasy land that is going to occupy people for decades to come, the way I see it.”

Cameron said the films will explore different Na’vi cultures as well the cultures of other Pandora creatures.

This is the worst news ever. James Cameron should’ve quit after True Lies and Titanic. Both instant classics. Then he could’ve retired to his farm in New Zealand where he grows walnuts and lets his kids roam. Whatever the hell that means. I mean do we really need three more three hour films about a fake underwater universe that just so happens to named after a fantastic music app? Also, let’s stop with The Godfather reference right now. Avatar is not The Godfather. Nothing is the Godfather. The Godfather is the godfather of trilogies. I saw Avatar in theatres and while it was good, and unique, I can’t imagine sitting through three more movies. Especially since it’s clear that James Cameron is slowly starting to lose his mind. I think it’s best if he dives down miles into the ocean and sets up shop there. Live out the rest of his days as an underwater walnut farmer and spare us 9 hours of our lives that we will never get back.

– Ryan

James Franco and Seth Rogen Spoofed Kanye’s ‘Bound 2’ Music Video and It’s Glorious

Well this is fantastic. No funnier duo than Rogen and Franco right now. Not sure anyone else is even close. Can’t wait for Kanye to lose his shit once he sees this. Nobody spoofs Kanye’s “art”!

– Ryan

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