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The Face Blanket Infomercial Might Be The Greatest Infomercial In History

The question here isn’t ‘am I going to get a face blanket’ it’s ‘how soon can I have it shipped to my house’ because this is the invention the human race has been waiting for. Honestly, this might be the best advertisement I’ve ever seen. It’s just so good. It starts out with your casual sleeper who is so cold that they need some sort of blanket to cover their entire face. That’s where the face blanket comes in. And when I say face blanket, I mean a piece of cloth that has a hole cut in it that still allows you to breathe. That’s literally all it is. The best part, by far, is how far they stretch out the uses for the face blanket to make it fit every scenario. Hunting an animal while wearing camouflage? Throw on a face blanket to totally blow your cover. Eating dinner? Throw on a face blanket for no apparent reason. Are you at the same party as your ex? Throw on a face blanket, because that won’t make him think you’re COMPLETELY INSANE. I’ve watched this ad 10 times and it just keeps getting better. 150k views is not nearly enough for this video. I can’t wait for my face blanket to come in so I can finally get a good night’s rest.

– Ryan

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The 2014 Gathering of the Juggalos Infomercial is here!

These videos get better every year.

I am a big fan of ICP. Huge. Saying that, I’m not sure I would survive a Gathering.

-Matt

The ‘My Spy Birdhouse’ is the Creepiest Product in the History of the World

Have you ever wanted to see INSIDE a birdhouse? Have you ever wanted to spy on birds and see exactly what the fuck they’re doing in there? No. I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to spy on a bunch of birds in their birdhouse. It’s not like their having philosophical discussions on how to save the world or watching movies on big screen TVs. They’re throwing up in each other’s mouths and sleeping and having sex with each other. You wanna know who the next psychotic serial killer is? Monitor anyone who buys this product. It starts with spying on birds and ends with wearing your neighbor’s skin as a coat.

– Ryan

The Bacon Wave is as American as You Can Get

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this thing does nothing to make bacon healthier to eat. You know how to make bacon healthier? Open up the package and throw it into the garbage. Those are the facts. Bacon is terrible for you. Is it the most delicious treat on the planet? Oh hell yeah it is, but it’s probably better for your wellbeing to slam your head into a concrete wall rather than eat bacon all the time. I digress.

I have some marketing/business advice for Bacon Wave. Start selling bacon. Open up a slaughter house, steal some pigs, do what you gotta do, because the only thing this infomercial made me want to do was stuff my face with greasy bacon.

Gotta go. I don’t have any bacon in the house. Next stop, the supermarket.

-MattyV

PS- I recently had chocolate covered bacon at a country faire and guess what, it was incredible.

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