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Twitter News Weekly – #FreeConeDay Brought To You By Hillary Clinton…And Ben & Jerry’s #Hillary2016

In this week’s episode we talk about Free Cone Day Mania and Hillary Clinton running for President in 2016. If you like ice cream and FDR jokes, this episode is for you.

– The Average Nobodies

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I Would Like To Personally Apologize To Kanye West

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You were right! You really do have the same dangers as the police and our military. On behalf of me and everyone else that has been tearing you a new asshole, we are truly sorry to have doubted you.

Don’t choke on your cone, dick head.

-Matt

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Looks Like I’ll Be Eating Ice Cream All Weekend

(Source) “It’s perhaps the ultimate bar snack – but it  could leave you just as hung-over as the liquid refreshments on offer at your  local pub.

A U.S firm has introduced a range of unique  beer ice creams, and unlike your usual tub of raspberry ripple, cookie dough or  vanilla, they are alcoholic.

The ice cream, called Frozen Pints, comes in  seven different flavours with the strongest having an alcohol level of 3.2 per  cent – the same as a low-point beer.

The new range is the brainchild of Ari  Fleischer, from New York, who says that the idea was born purely out of  accident.

‘We were having a party and a friend brought  over an ice cream maker to make homemade ice cream,’ explained the  29-year-old.

‘But another friend spilled a beer nearby,  and I watched it happen and thought “this is a great idea!”

‘I’m really passionate about craft beer, and  love ice cream, so I picked it up as a hobby and started experimenting with  different flavour combinations.

‘We start with the beer as it is all about  finding the best, most flavourful craft brews – and then build a flavour around  them.”

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Who does the marketing for this company, Jesus Christ? Because they are knocking it out of the park. Frozen Pints? Genius. “Have your beer and eat it too”? Double genius. Everybody loves ice cream. Everybody loves beer. Now you’re telling me I can eat a bowl of ice cream and get hammered at the same time? What a beautiful thing. The only thing I’m worried about is once I have these Frozen Pints I’ll probably never want actual bottled beer again. I’ll just be a man with his ice cream beer, ready to conquer the world.

– Ryan

Conor P. Fudge Gets Arrested For Stealing Cake and Ice Cream…

When real-life Walter White is sought on a meth charge, it’s a story. When Leonard Dickman gets arrested on a public indecency charge, it’s a story. So when Conor P. Fudge gets caught on camera swiping cake from an ice cream shop, you can bet your rocky road it’s a story.

Fudge, 25, was allegedly caught stealing cakes and containers of ice cream from a Cold Stone Creamery in Iowa City, the Gazette reported Monday.

The store owner gave police the scoop on Fudge, saying he was employed there until late August and used an unauthorized key to get inside after hours on Sept. 11 and 12, according to the Associated Press. The tape also allegedly shows him taking moneyout of a safe, the Iowa City Press-Citizen reported.

The combined value of the desserts and the money was about $500. He’s charged with burglary and theft.

Ok, now I have heard it all. A sweet tooth wielding robber has the last name of “Fudge”? This cannot be real life. They did not put a mug shot up of Mr. Fudge, but this is what I imagine he looks like.

IMG_8049 copyAt least he was smart enough to hit the safe on the way out too. My question is, with a name like fudge, he had to have been in there solely for the cake and scram. Right? The money was just a bonus for him.

-MattyV

PS- How hard do you hit rock bottom that you steal cake and ice cream?

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