Blog Archives

Michael Porter Jr.’s Dunk Is Extremely Unfair For All The Other High School Players

1. This is an absolutely ridiculous dunk on any level. It’s WOW factor is multiplied by a thousand when you realize Michael Porter Jr. is in HIGH SCHOOL.

2. What do you do if you’re the other team in this situation? If I’m coaching the other team I’m pulling my players off the court and forfeiting. These kid’s confidence just fly out of the gym once Michael Porter starting dunking from the foul line. You need to end the game while they still have a chance at a normal life.

3. I need a Jim Ross voice over edition with Mankind crashing through the table dubbed over Porter dunking the ball. I need that right now.

– Ryan

Michael Sutton Eats Rocks

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Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post

Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.

Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).

-Matt

I Need A Self Portrait

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I feel like this is the next logical step in my life. I graduated high school and college. I got a full-time job. Now I need a self portrait. I’m not talking about going Clay Matthews and having hundred’s of photo’s of myself in my basement. I want it be tasteful, classy. Something like “The Kramer”. The caricature of myself as a baseball player on my bedroom ceiling needs to be replaced. The only thing missing is an actual artist. Let it be known now that I only pay in beer. Rules are rules.

– Ryan

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